It sure seems like the press is actually beginning to pay attention to some of the Obama administration scandals.  Could it be that the press is finally beginning to lose its bias?  Of course not.  That would be silly.  According to my connections in the State Department, these superficial scandals are just a diversion to cover up for the really embarrassing scandals that are being actively suppressed.  I’ll be slowly leaking these scandals out over the coming week as I am able to uncover them.

• Michelle Obama provided legal advice to the Baker’s Union associated with the bankruptcy of Hostess and is vested in the private venture capital group that has purchased the Hostess recipes.
• The NAACP has begun to officially question Obama’s ‘black authenticity’ since leaked security footage from the White House locker room depicts him slathering himself with spray tan and insta-perm.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]

The boy heard about Dr. Razeqi’s newly invented time machine yesterday, so we had to have the discussion about whether we should go back in time and kill off Hitler.  While I am not a fan of the Hitler, a history without Hitler would leave me unable to label my political enemies Nazis or ‘worse than Hitler,’ so I don’t think killing him would be the best approach because then I might have to elevate my dialog and make lucid and logical arguments.  Maybe I could just go back in time, buy all his paintings for way more than they were worth and tell him, “Good job! Don’t stop!  Keep up the good work!”

Read a story the other day about how a wealthy Manhattan family would hire a handicapped person to take to Disney World with them so they could cut to the front of the line.  It suddenly became clear to me why Obama chose Biden as a running mate.  There are all sorts of advantages to having a mentally handicapped fellow on the team.  Like these:

• The Presidential cavalcade can now use the handicapped parking zones.
• The Obama’s no longer have to troll the inner city for mentally deficient vagrants to put in the stocks for ridicule during their traditional Quasimodo Mondays.
• Biden is unlikely to notice that Bo is subtly different every week or so.
• He is always willing to trade his disability and social security checks for a shiny nickel.
• Sasha has a cartoon buddy.
• While his brain don’t work so good, all the rest of his organs are easily transferrable.
• When Palin comes to visit, Trig will have someone to play with.
• It’s good to have someone around that Barack can occasionally beat at Old Maid.
• Barney Frank now has someone in the administration that will voluntarily sit on his knee.
• Barack has a ready scape goat for his IBS and scatological aromas.
• It’s nice to have someone in the administration who is always willing to go to bat for Amtrak and light rail.  Biden likes choo-choos.
• For tax purposes, they can claim Joe as a dependent, and he is none the wiser.
• He doesn’t mind putting either or both feet in his mouth whenever necessary.
• He can be an incredibly passionate advocate for abortion because he truly believes you are only harming storks and cabbages.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]