Archive of entries posted on 22nd May 2013

Bacon Blasphemy!

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[High Praise! to Marc]

Time to riot in San Francisco like you just saw a bad YouTube video:

Bacon Restaurant Shut Down For Smelling Like Bacon

A San Francisco bacon restaurant, fittingly called “Bacon Bacon,” was forced to shut its door on Friday after neighbors complained that the “porcine aroma” wafting from the establishment was too strong…

Everybody Kills Hitler on Their First Trip

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[High Praise! to slapout for the link]

The short story “Wikihistory“, by Desmond Warzel.

It begins:
_______________

International Association of Time Travelers: Members’ Forum
Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War
Page 263

11/15/2104
At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl’s cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.

At 18:06:59, BigChill wrote:
Take it easy on the kid, SilverFox316; everybody kills Hitler on their first trip. I did. It always gets fixed within a few minutes, what’s the harm?
_______________

click here to continue reading…

Link of the Day: Obama Denies Role in Government

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[High Praise! to Marc and The Borowitz Report]

Looks like Obama just lost another liberal humorist. First Jon Stewart, now this:

Obama Denies Role in Government

Things are just not looking good for our President right now.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Give Me an E! Give Me a P! Give Me an A! What Does That Spell? Couldn’t Tell You. I Went to Public School.

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OK, now things are just getting silly.  The EPA is targeting me now.  What has happened to my freedom to pollute my land as I see fit?  Might one of these be the cause:

  • Apparently I’m not allowed to compost those half dozen hobos that used to be shackled in my crawlspace.
  • My hellions keep running the AC with the windows open.
  • The by-products of my genetic experiments have to be properly disposed of as biohazardous wastes.  Apparently consumption at a neighborhood BBQ isn’t good enough.
  • They are concerned that I fertilize my garden with my expired prescriptions.
  • My controlled refuse burning sometimes includes my neighbors’ cats.
  • My hepatitis C mutated, anthropomorphized and was reportedly seen stalking the local children.
  • My controlled refuse burning sometimes includes my expired ‘prescriptions.’  (It makes for a really interesting smore party).
  • My hepatitis was later seen meeting a yeast infection at a seedy motel with a crate of petri dishes. Offspring are feared. 
  • They frown upon my practice of weaving my own cloth from discarded asbestos.
  • They don’t approve of the lead bodypaint we use to protect ourselves from Obama’s mind control transmissions.
  • They just need someone to crucify like when the Romans come to town.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]

Hey, Francis! I got somebody I’d like you to meet.

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PopeExorcism

Image: The Mirror

Some people appear to getting their panties in a wad over the pope laying hands on some guy and praying. They’re saying he performed an exorcism on the guy right there in line at St. Peter’s Square.

Here’s the video:

[Source: YouTube]

Now, it looks to me like he did exactly what I said in the opening sentence: he laid hands on a fellow and offered a prayer. Heck, I’ve seen Baptists do that, so I’m certainly not surprised when the Bishop of Rome does it.

But, some folks are going all gaga over it, calling it an exorcism. And, heck, maybe it was.

If it was, and Pope Francis can do that (and I’m not doubting it), I wonder if maybe he’ll do it again sometime.

I suggest his next visit to Washington, DC, would be a great time. So, in case the head of the Roman Catholic Church is reading this, here’s what to do:

  • From Reagan National, have the driver take the George Washington Parkway to I-395 North.
  • Take the US-1 exit, merging onto US-1/14th Street.
  • Left on Madison.
  • Right on 15th NW.
  • Left onto E Street/Pennsylvania Avenue (you’ll need to show ID, it’s restricted).
  • Take the first right.
  • Ask for Barack.

I wish you much success!

Scandals, Scandals Everywhere…..

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And to add to the growing list of Obama administration scandals.

  • Michelle has been checked into the Betty Ford Clinic to receive treatment for the abuse of high fructose corn syrup.
  • Actor Ben Gazzara has petitioned the court for a restraining order against Joe Biden, complaining that a seemingly confused Mr. Biden keeps calling him and harassing him for information relating to a terrorist attack.

Jesus Versus Muhammad

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Back when Steven Crowder was just some guy putting videos on YouTube, he did the Qur’an Challenge and got tons of death threats. And now he has a sequel: Jesus Versus Muhammad


[direct link]

Please don’t threaten Crowder with death.

BTW, still on parental leave because of the new little guy who sleeps all the time except when it is dark out. I’ll get back to my regular blogging… eventually.