Two comments on this post which mocked Obama’s immigration plan using a Peter Pan theme deserve some special attention and High Praise!:

zzyzx:

You Can Tax You Can Tax You Can Tax – by Peter Pan

Think of the welfare you’ve brought
Any merry little thought
Think of a tax on Christmas, think of a tax on snow
Think of taxing sleigh bells Here we go!
Like a taxing to the max
You can tax! You can tax!
You can tax! You can tax!
Soon you’ll tax all around the room
All it takes is faith and trust
But the thing that’s a positive must
Is a little bit of taxman dust
The dust is a positive must
You can tax! You can tax!
You can tax! You can tax!
When there’s a tax in your heart
There’s no better time to start
It’s a very simple plan
You can do what the taxman can
At least it’s worth a try
You can tax! You can tax!
You can tax! You can tax!

and seanmahair:

Taxerwocky (my sincere apologies to Mr. Carroll)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Taxerwock, my son!
The jaws that Lie, the claws that grab!
Beware the JoeJoe bird, and shun
The frumious Janetsnatch!”
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the cowardly foe he sought –
So rested he by the Liberty tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Taxerwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it impotent, and with its Bill
He went galumphing back.
“And, has thou slain the Taxerwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Just wanted to give some High Praise! to seanmahair for coming up with a great acronym to save time for people who want to abide by Frank’s rule to declare your non-crackpothood:

So, I think it’s well established the government of New York is filled with people so stupid they shouldn’t be allowed out in the public without supervision, and it ends up their recent drool-soaked gun bill has yet another problem with it: It’s basically banning Hollywood from doing any filming with guns in New York. That’s a pretty big industry in New York to accidentally crush like so many Lennys.

Of course, Hollywood wants special gun exceptions for them. You notice all the special exceptions Hollywood gets? Like they’re the only industry in America where they can basically be “blacks need not apply” — I mean, if they’re doing a period piece like The King’s Speech, you know no minorities are getting those parts. And they also want to be the only ones with access to firearms. If you’re looking for some sort of racist, militia movement, it seems like Hollywood would be the first place to check.

Crowder went around asking people what they thought of the Kermit Gosnell trial. The results are… sad.

Camera shot: Digital Clock reading 9:15:49. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick

Camera shot: Split screen, JACK sitting on chair next to Sister Nelson’s bed on left screen, TONY at CTU on right screen.

TONY: Here’s what we’ve got on Nelson, Jack. Fourteen kids, all of them natural and all of them delivered at home. Didn’t even use a midwife. And she home schools them all.

JACK: So you’re saying torture won’t work on this one.

TONY: Not likely. Not in the time frame you want. I wouldn’t even recommend using the children as leverage. There are so many, she may not even recognize them as her own. I think with this sort, the threat of pain might be more effective than pain itself.

JACK: Thanks. Let me know if you learn anything else. (hangs up cellphone. Quickly scans the room for its contents.)

Camera shot: camera pans room and settles on a loaf of zucchini bread with a get well card on top of it resting on the nightstand.

JACK (to SISTER NELSON): I know what you’re thinking. You don’t think I can stuff that whole loaf down your throat, do you? You’d be surprised. Funny thing about zucchini bread. In small amounts, it can be quite delectable, but in larger amounts… It will start dissolving your stomach lining. There is no treatment, and it will take you about a week to die. Very painful. It would be so much easier if you just tell me what I want to know.

SISTER NELSON (coughing): Sure thing Bishop. What can I do for you?

Camera shot: camera pans to SISTER NELSON’S hands as she wipes them on her sheets.

JACK: You’re hands are sweating.

SISTER NELSON: I have a condition.

JACK: I heard those exact words from your daughter earlier tonight. You know what I think? I don’t think you two have a condition. I think you’ve been coaching her. Making sure you have your stories straight. Is she even your daughter at all, or is she a nefarious, trained midget assassin?

BROTHER YOUNG: Now that’s just absurd, Jack. I’m putting a stop to this.

JACK (To BROTHER YOUNG): You shut up and stay down. If you’d seen what I’ve seen over the past 15 minutes, you wouldn’t think it was so absurd.

BROTHER YOUNG: I have seen what you have over the past 15 minutes.

JACK (leveling his gun at BROTHER YOUNG): I said shut it!

JACK: (to SISTER NELSON): Now where is my family?

SISTER NELSON: Oh, they’re probably still at the Dairy Queen. They were planning on getting ice cream after the temple trip.

BROTHER YOUNG: See. I told you Jack. Everyone’s fine.

JACK: Yes, you did tell me that. You told me exactly that. It’s almost as if you two planned this tale together. And you, Brother, have been impeding me every step of the way tonight. (leveling his gun at BROTHER YOUNG again) Who were you really talking to in the men’s room?

BROTHER YOUNG: I told you Jack, it was my..

JACK: Don’t you dare insult me and say it was your wife. Now who are you working for?

BROTHER YOUNG: Alright. Alright. I called the Stake President. You were acting erratically, and I wasn’t trusting your leadership at the moment. I’ve had my phone on speaker ever since. He’s been listening in this whole time.

JACK: Face down on the bed now. I said now!

BROTHER YOUNG (lays on bed)

JACK (yanks phone cord from wall and binds BROTHER YOUNG’S hands behind his back).

BROTHER YOUNG: This is crazy, Jack. The Stake Presidency is on their way. You’re only making things worse.

JACK (placing barrel of gun at back of BROTHER YOUNG’S head) Not another word! (pats down BROTHER YOUNG, finds cellphone in suit pocket and smashes it against the floor)

JACK (back to SISTER NELSON): Your story doesn’t add up, Sister. There’s not enough money in the Young Women’s budget for ice cream socials, and I would need to pre-approve those expenditures. No one ran this past me. So I’m asking you one last time: WHERE IS MY FAMILY?

SISTER NELSON: Sister Evans was going to treat. She’s such a sweet lady. It’s been a real pleasure serving with her.

JACK: I’ve had enough of this. Get up. You’re coming with me. (pulls BROTHER YOUNG from the bed) You too. (They move back to the car. Jack pops the trunk)

JACK:(To BROTHER YOUNG): Get in the trunk.

BROTHER YOUNG: Jack. You’re making a huge mistake.

JACK: (Ignores him and closes the trunk).

JACK: (To SISTER NELSON): In the car. You’re driving. (Jack gets in passenger seat and points gun toward SISTER NELSON): Take me to Dairy Queen. For your sake, my family better be there.

Camera shot: Digital Clock reading 9:18:32. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

For the rivetting conclusion, see Uncle Sid’s Guide to Homeschool Your Hellions.  It’s in there somewhere.

So Medicaid, which is going to cost a trillions, has shown in a new study to not improve the physical health of those who have it. Its trillions of dollars and does nothing. So it’s an easy choice to just cut this and save tons of money, right?

Nope, the left are promoting how Medicaid improves “mental health.” Trillions of dollars, and people feel better — which is probably just because people feel better thinking they’re covered even though the coverage actually does nothing. So we could just pretend to cover people — placebo coverage — and get the same effect for much cheaper.

But the left will never go along with that. If a giant government program is a complete and utter failure, that just means it need to be made even gianter. If there was a government program that just put trillions of dollars in a hole and burned it, the left would go on and on about how much warmth for the poor that program created and how we need to burn even more money.

We can’t ever get rid of government programs no matter how useless they are. And that’s why I think the only step is to start to train our kids to build a new, better government after this one collapses.

Yes, I don’t think the government will collapse in our lifetime, but probably in our kids’. So I think I’m going to start a new homeschooling program to train our kids how to build a new government for when the U.S. one collapses. I’ll teach them basic stuff like how to draft up a Constitution and things like that. They’ll probably be more likely to actually have to use that knowledge than calculus.

I am Joe.

I am scared again.  There was a knock at the door and it was one of those unlegal Americans.  I told him we already had a lawn mower man but that there was a Taco Bell down the street.  But he said No no I have a pointment with the Boss.  Me llamo Marco Rubio.  I slammed the door fast and ran and hid in my closet.

I have heard of Marco Rubio.  I have heard that he has a baby face.  Sasha says it is true.  She says that he keeps it in his sock drawer and he pulls it out and pets it when he gets lonely.  Sometimes he wears it.  She said he wants an old man face too.  I don’t want him to put my face in his sock drawer and pet it when he is lonely.

I heard Boss and Missus Boss and Aunt Nancy let him in.  They must not know him.  I have to save them, I thought.  I bet he doesn’t have a clean, articulate face or a bitter, old black nanny face or a rictus Botox face yet either.  I got down the Halloween box and put on the Fidel beard and the Spanish Conquistador costume to scare him back.  I snucked out of my closet.  I could hear them talk.  They were talking about anchor babies.  That man is a monster.  Who would make an anchor out of a baby?  Oh, yeah cause they can’t swim.  But he is still a monster. I runned back away.

I am not coming out of my closet until he goes away.

I am Joe.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]

Son of Bob.  The mourning period is over.  Come back and do Biden right.  We’re waiting……