Do they even ask “How much do you despise this country?” on immigration forms? I feel like that should be included.

— Wittorical (@Wittorical) May 1, 2013

Obama says Obamacare is “going great.” It’s bad enough if he doesn’t really mean it. It’s even worse if he does.

— Ken Gardner (@kesgardner) May 1, 2013

If you smoke a cigar I feel like you’d also take a child’s spot on a lifeboat.

— Gary Janetti (@GaryJanetti) May 1, 2013

Sorry Left, but it’s literally impossible to support Obamacare AND believe that ‘women should have control over their own health care.’ #p2

— Kevin Eder (@keder) May 1, 2013

“It’s over there by the Walgreens” – directions to anywhere

— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) May 2, 2013

So there was a poll to see how prevalent some extremists attitudes are in Muslim countries, and as for the number of Muslims who think anyone who leaves Islam should be executed, it’s a shockingly large number in many countries. And as Allahpundit pointed out, they didn’t even poll Saudi Arabia in this, so this isn’t even a complete picture of the problem. Also, going by those numbers, there hasn’t to be a decent overlap in some of those countries of people who believe in “religious freedom” and “killing apostates,” so you kinda have to wonder what they think religious freedom means.

Kazakhstan had the smallest number of respondents support murdering people who leave Islam with only a couple percent for it, and I would assume that even fewer Muslims in the U.S. support that… but I hope someone is making sure. Not really a compatible belief with this country.

BTW, try Christianity. We believe so much you’ll like our religion, we won’t even threaten to kill you if you try to leave. That’s a get your life back guarantee!

So Obama’s nominee to head the Federal Housing Finance Agency, Mel Watt, once said that white people need to be excluded from democracy because you just have to assume that they’re too racist to vote for a black person. And black people are superior to whites in that they never vote on racial reasons.

You notice how it’s getting really hard these days to tell people fighting against racism from huge stupid racists?

You know, back in the day, racist knew they were racist. People would be like, “Oh yeah, I don’t like minorities.” Nowadays, I don’t think the big racist even know they’re racists. In fact, I think the biggest racist now are the ones who think they’re fighting racism. It’s kinda sad. And I think the only solution is to shun them from society as huge idiots and then mock the dummies like Obama who tolerate them.

Smash Cut: Digital Time Reading 9:09 PM.   Tick.  Tick.  Tick. Tick.

Camera shot: JACK standing outside door to the church’s mens’ room, pounding on door.

JACK BAUER: What were the Young Women driving?

BROTHER YOUNG: A minivan.

JACK BAUER: Color?

BROTHER YOUNG: Silver.

JACK BAUER: Model?

BROTHER YOUNG: I don’t know.

JACK BAUER (Dials cellphone): That’s just great. 

Smash Cut: CHLOE O’BRIAN sitting in front of computer at CTU.

CHLOE (Speaking into headset): O’Brian, CTU.

JACK BAUER: Chloe, it’s Jack.  I have no time to explain.  I need you to pull all the satellite data for Davis County.  I’m looking for a silver minivan. Teri and Kim will be in it.

CHLOE: I’ve got the images now.  Geesh, Jack.  That’s impossible.   There are like millions of them just in your neighborhood.

JACK: I know it’s a lot to ask, but my wife’s and daughter’s lives are at stake.

CHLOE: Alright.  Maybe if I program an auto-recognition subroutine and route it straight into the trunk line and then parse it into the super-sub-aquanet.

JACK: Just make it happen.  Call me as soon as you have anything.

CHLOE: Will do, Jack.  (mumbling) I love you.

JACK: What was that?

CHLOE: I said, ‘I’ll call you.’

JACK (hangs up cellphone and resumes pounding on men’s’ room door): Hurry up, we don’t have much time!

BROTHER YOUNG (from inside the restroom): It’s your fault I’m in here.  You scared the crap out of me, Jack.

JACK: Just make it quick!

(Toilet flushes, water runs and BROTHER YOUNG exits rest room)

JACK: I heard voices.  Who were you talking to in there?

BROTHER YOUNG: Just letting my wife know I’m going to be late.  Wouldn’t want her to think I was being kidnapped or anything.

JACK (Scowling at BROTHER YOUNG):  Save your jokes until after my wife and daughter are safe.  Let me bring you up to speed.  I’ve called each member of the Young Women’s Presidency, and none is answering.  It’s like they were expecting me.  Or someone’s shut down their communications.  Either way, it would have to be someone who knew their itinerary.  It looks like an inside job.

BROTHER YOUNG: Just check with Sister Nelson.  She couldn’t go tonight because she’s been sick.

JACK: You say she’s been sick, huh?  I think we’ve found our mole.  She didn’t answer her cell, so let’s catch her at home.  Get in the car.

BROTHER YOUNG: It’s a beautiful night.  Let’s just walk.

JACK: I said get in the car.  I’ll drive.

(Car pulls out of church parking lot, drives half a block down the street and parks in Sister Nelson’s driveway.  JACK rushes up to the house and pounds on the door).

JACK: Open up!  (Dials cellphone) 

Smash Cut: TONY ALMEDA sitting in front of computer at CTU.

TONY: (Speaking into headset): Hey, Jack.

JACK: I don’t have time to explain.  I need an interrogation profile worked up for a Sister Nelson. 

TONY:  I can’t do much without a first name, Jack.

JACK: I don’t know her first name.  I don’t think any of these nut jobs even have first names.  They’re all Brother so-and-so or Sister somebody. 

TONY: I can’t work with just a last name.

JACK: I know.  I know.  Hold on a second. (pounding on door again) Open up!

(No response). 

JACK: I’m going in. (quickly picks lock.  Draws gun and makes his way into the house.  To BROTHER YOUNG): Follow me, but stay back.

BROTHER YOUNG: Are you sure we should be doing this?

JACK: Just shut up and follow me.

(He quickly makes it through the apparently empty house and finds his way into the master bedroom.  He switches on the bedroom lights).

SISTER NELSON, Second Counselor in the Young Women’s Presidency is laying in bed half asleep.  (groggily): Bishop?  What are you doing here? Is everything alright?

JACK:  (holds up his phone and takes SISTER NELSON’S photo.) Tony, I’m sending you her photo.  Run it through the face recognition software.  And hurry.  I’ll need the profile before the end of the commercial break. (Hangs up phone.  Then to SISTER NELSON): Well, Sister.  What shall we talk about.

Smash Cut: Digital Time Reading 9:13:37 PM.   Tick.  Tick.  Tick. Tick.

Hey, look: “Frank Fleming Edition”! That’s me!

So I had this silly little tweet about how people sort of hedged on global warming by using the phrase “climate change” instead, but it’s not like they’re pretending the problem is something other than warming — we’re not expecting the whole world to get cooler. We’re supposed to be worried about the warming — they just don’t want to keep saying “global warming” because people aren’t seeing that.

Anyway, I thought it was a pretty innocuous throwaway joke, but it got a huge “That’s not funny!” reaction. I guess I never heard the left react to the change from “global warming” to “climate change,” and apparently there is this big amount of global warming denialism out there — that is, denial that the true believers used to use the phrase “global warming” all the time and now only say “climate change.” Oh no, we just remember that wrong. They totally didn’t do this huge hedge by switching the phrase because something about Frank Luntz. Well, my science has been corrected by weiners on the internet. Thanks, weiners.

You know, there is this scientific study I’d like to do. My hypothesis is that there is nothing so dumb that a large segment of the population won’t believe it if said by someone wearing a white lab coat.