Archive of entries posted on 13th May 2013

Link of the Day: A Little Perspective for Jay Carney

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[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

A Little Perspective for Jay Carney

BONUS LINK:

It’s just a picture, but it’s too big to post here, so go there:

The Trouble with Tribbles is They Taste too Damned Yummy

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Questions IRS Philadelphia

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Obama Warned Us – Efficiency

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When people suggest that, “What a waste of money to make federal buildings more energy-efficient.” Why would that be a waste of money? We’re creating jobs immediately by retrofitting these buildings or weatherizing 2 million Americans’ homes, as was called for in the package, so that right there creates economic stimulus. And we are saving taxpayers when it comes to federal buildings potentially $2 billion. In the case of homeowners, they will see more money in their pockets. And we’re reducing our dependence on foreign oil in the Middle East. Why wouldn’t we want to make that kind of investment?

BARACK OBAMA, press conference, Feb. 9, 2009

Because spending $4 billion to save $2 billion isn’t an investment, it’s idiocy. Might as well heat the building by burning the cash.

Math is hard!

We Need to Have More Faith in Government So It Doesn’t Turn on Us

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So the IRS is targeting conservatives.

Well, not the IRS. Low-level employees in Cincinnati. Because the IRS is structured such that any low-level employee can go on a personal political vendetta. Interns are ordering the audits of their neighbors all the time. That’s just how it is.

And it’s obviously no big deal because no disciplinary action was taken. But we can rest assured everyone involved learned an important life lesson.

So let’s move on.

Hmm… you don’t seem to have moved on. You still seem a bit angry and concerned about a government agency specifically being used to crush political opposition. Well, I hope you’re not being all paranoid about the government being out to get you. Obama recently warned some college graduates against being all worried about government tyranny, and Obama has good reason to warn you against that because worrying about government tyranny is the exact sort of thing that will get you audited. Or, when Obamacare is in full force, it will be the attitude that gets you denied life saving health care.

So have faith in government. Or it will get you.

I Think Frank J May Need a Little More Advice

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Since the Frank family seems to be Pitocin challenged, I thought I could help out with some more unsolicited advice.  Here are some of the ways we used to induce labor back in the old days.

  • Take a trip to the trampoline park.
  • Force the expectant mother to march up and down the stairs to the beat of you playing the Twilight soundtrack on your vuvezela.
  • Remind the unborn child that Obamacare is being implemented, and the mandatory abortion clause may become effective any day now.
  • Tell the unborn child that your ob/gyn is going on vacation tomorrow, and the substitute physician will be Kermit Gosnell.
  • Smoke a wee bit of crack, and then tell the unborn child he gets no more until he comes out.
  • Show the unborn child the analysis you have done that demonstrates that each day he is past the due date statistically increases his chances of being sold to the gypsies.  (I ran the numbers through Michael Mann’s algorithm, so it of course produced a hockeystick shaped curve.  Don’t argue.  The science is settled).
  • Assure the unborn child that Mother’s Day is past now, so he doesn’t have to be ashamed he didn’t get mommy a gift now.
  • Let the unborn child know that every day he waits to be born is just one day more he has to wait to get legally drunk.
  • Tell the unborn child not to be afraid to be born.  You would never enter him in underground drunken toddler knife fights without properly training him first.
  • Assure the unborn child that though the world may seem bleak right now, no matter how scary she looks, you would never let Nancy Pelosi eat him.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]

Pictures of the Baby!

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…is what I’d like to show you, but the only option for that is ultrasound. That baby is just not going to be born. I think I’m just going to go back to my life as normal and forget this whole “second baby” thing.

Then again, Buttercup decided to cry for no reason all last night so we’re both pretty sapped today, thus today would be the perfect day for labor.

Random Thoughts: Written by a Low-Level Employee in Cincinnati

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So low-level people can determine who the IRS targets? Sounds like a really poorly put together organization.

So how does the IRS work? Can like an intern launch an audit or something? How does this come from “low-level”?

We’re past the one week anniversary of my wife’s due date. Kinda given up. Don’t think he’s coming out.

“The Empire would like to apologize for the destruction of Aldreaan. That was the decision of a low-level employee in Cincinnati.”

My son better get born soon. He has lots of people’s Social Security and Medicare to pay for.

“Japan would like to apologize for the bombing of Pearl Harbor. That was the decision of a low-level employee in Chiba.”

I’m glad so much of the media will jump to the defense of the hapless President Obama. He’s such a special little guy.

All this scandal stuff has to be so scary for him.

What is the non-sleazy explanation to the off the record briefing with select reporters?

So Romney gave the stand down order?

So who is this “Bush” character? He like a Gremlin that lives in the White House walls or something?

We need some perp walks for this IRS thing.

The State Department says the stand order in Benghazi came from a low-level worker in Cincinnati.

So will the White House identify who came up with the YouTube nonsense so that person can be publicly mocked?

“I must brake you.” -Ivan Drago to a student driver who is losing control

So about what percentage of my tax dollars last year went towards making sure Obama was reelected?

Don’t be one of those nutso, paranoid people who think the government is out to get him or you will get audited.

Top 12* Reasons Why Frank’s Kid Hasn’t Shown Up Yet

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*IMAO Top 12 Lists are guaranteed to have 20% more content than other blogs’ Top 10 Lists!

12) Forgot to set the alarm clock.

11) Can’t find his Birth Certificate.

10) New 0bamaCare regulation stating that all babies must be born on the same day each year to save paperwork.

9) Stork made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

8) Sarah following through on threat not to let him out until he cleans up his womb.

7) Attempting to set the new world record for human gestation.

6) Refusing to come out until somebody does something about who the President is!

5) 3 words: Bacon Flavored Placenta.

4) Recently featured on an episode of Pimp My Womb, refusing to leave newly renovated digs.

3) Still negotiating for a larger room and more allowance.

2) Sarah was just stuffing a pillow under her shirt for the last 9 months, wanted to see how long it took Frank to figure it out.

1) Found out who his Father is. Can you blame him?