Still Looking for Those Two

[High Praise! to After Math]


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Hillary Clinton: 911 Operator

[High Praise! to Michelle Obama’s Mirror]

CITIZEN: Hello!? Somebody just kicked down my door, they’re in the house; they’ve got guns!

911 OPERATOR: I’m sorry, given the speed of the attack we won’t be able to get there in time.

CITIZEN: What are you talking about!! Someone’s broken into my house! I need help!

911 OPERATOR: I’m sorry ma’am, we’re not allowed to deploy forces into harm’s way without knowing exactly what’s going on in real time.

CITIZEN: I’m telling you what’s going on in real time you moron! There are home invaders here – with guns! They’re going to kill me and my children!

911 OPERATOR: I’m very sorry ma’am. But our stats indicate we won’t be able to get there in time to help. Death is a part of life. Do you have any messages you’d like me to pass on to your survivors?

This Is What It Means to Love Your Work

We should all be so blessed:


[Vimeo direct link]

Even Captain Kirk Hates Libertarians

[ref 1,ref 2]

Link of the Day: Satire Red Line Crossed: Administration Responds

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

Red Line Crossed: Administration Responds

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Benghazi: Evolution

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Obama Warned Us – Gitmo

To overcome extremism, we must also be vigilant in upholding the values our troops defend – because there is no force in the world more powerful than the example of America. That is why I have ordered the closing of the detention center at Guantanamo Bay, and will seek swift and certain justice for captured terrorists – because living our values doesn’t make us weaker, it makes us safer and it makes us stronger.

BARACK OBAMA, Address to Joint Session of Congress, Feb. 24, 2009

“Hey guys, I was TOTALLY gonna close Gitmo, but the shop that prints the “Closed” signs had to shut down due to the sequester, so that’s the Republicans’ fault”

Random Thoughts: Gosnell and Scandalpalooza

I think this IRS episode demonstrates that the left should focus on cleaning out all its extremists scum before worrying about the right.

Like anyone who cheers on the IRS targeting certain groups should not be a part of any mainstream movement.

Obama acknowledged Benghazi was an act of terror the day after and did it so forcefully none of us came away with that impression.

Obama did not have time to find out about the IRS; he’s too focused on jobs and the economy.

So the NYTimes has just completely given up on trying to not look like a bunch of political hacks, right?

You can’t trust politicians for anything so give them as little power as possible – can never understand why that is controversial.

Buttercup (2.5 yrs) can now draw kitties that actually look like kitties – on the furniture.

“Jews Get Fundraising Bonanza!” -first New York Times headline on the Holocaust

Gosnell found guilty of murder for three victims who never even got to have names.

I heard Obama arguing against the Born Alive Act saying he trusted abortion doctors to do the right thing without oversight. What a jackass.

We do need to get some clips of Obama arguing abortionists will quickly switch gears from killing to saving to play against Gosnell verdict.

he “pro-choice” side can’t express sympathy for the babies murdered because that would work against themselves.

If you feel the need to gloss over infanticide, you need to take a really hard look at your values.

Fun Science Fact: When an alive fetus is removed from the mother, the technical term for it is now “baby”.

Fun Legal Fact: It’s just as illegal to murder a baby as it is to murder you or me!

Fun Fact: Some cultures consider babies to be precious and try specifically to not get them murdered.

Time for someone to ask Obama what we’ll be doing to make sure there aren’t anymore Gosnell’s out there.

Technology cuts against abortion. We saw Buttercup at 10 weeks, moving her little arms, and we didn’t think “clump of cells.”

Wife is a week and a half past due with my son, BTW. Hope he’s worth the wait.

This is what happens when you don’t have an adversarial press. #VoteRepublicanForPresident

Obama should do a prime time address and give us all that “stop worrying about government tyranny!” speech he gave for OSU.

After Obamacare is fully implemented and gets really unpopular, we’ll hear it was all the idea of some low-level worker in Cincinnati.

All these scandals would really weigh on people’s opinions on Obama if they weren’t all so satisfied with the economy.

Going to have to drag a sobbing Carney out to the next press briefing.

I can just imagine Obama breaking down under tough questions at a press conference. “That’s it! You’re all audited!”

Someone get Jon Stewart to do a joke about the DOJ seizing the AP’s phone records to Obama will hear about it.

Obama going after the press? Talking about biting the hand that… I can’t think of non-dirty way to end that.

The media needs to break up from its abusive boyfriend before they get seriously hurt.

So what were we all worried about if Romney became president? Women being put in binders or something?

Maybe there aren’t many reasons to trust the government, but at least it isn’t murdering us… well, other than the targeted assassinations.

I am Joe: Thoughts of a Very Special VP

I am Joe.

The big boys are here to talk to the boss, so I had to watch cartoons with Sasha.  Some African Americans with bones in there hairs and ears and noses put Elmer Fudd in a pot.  It was scary.  I asked Sasha if African Americans really would put Elmer Fudd in a pot to eat. 

Sasha said some African Americans are canables.  And canables eat people. 

I asked her if she eats peoples, and she said she never had yet, but her grandma and grandpa were canables.  And that her family would probably eat peoples sometime too.  Probably soon.  She said when you eat a people you get their spirit too and it makes you more stronger.  She told me to be careful because she saw her daddy look at me with that droolly look he mostly just gets when he looks at Bo.  And mama was licking her lips too. 

She asked me if I eated lots of candies.  She told me her mama has a plan for all the fat kids in America.  Because fat kids who eat a lot of candies taste goodest.  You are what you eat, mama always tells her.

I am scared now.  I am going to give Sasha all of my candies.  I don’t want to be eated.  I don’t want to taste gooder.  I am going to eat out of the litter box again.

I am Joe.

 

(Disclaimer: Yeah, I know this is a rerun from Nuking Politics, but I’m really swamped right now, and probably almost no one saw it the first time anyway)

Straight Line of the Day: To Avoid Insolvency, Detroit…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

To avoid insolvency, Detroit…

Still No Baby

…and so tired…

Promoted Comment: Secret State Department Email

[High Praise! to Went West]

Should be interesting to read the email correspondence between State Department and the embassy leading up to the attack:

Stevens: …and the weather is wonderful but I am a little worried about a bunch of people outside the building that look threatening so please send some extra security./CS

Clinton: …busy for the election and here it’s just raining./HC. PS. Are you sure they’re not just spontaneously demonstrating against some YouTube-video?

Stevens: …and I am now worried about the rocket launchers they are putting on the neighboring buildings so we could really need some extra security here./CS

Clinton: …and it makes no difference at this point if they already have rocket launchers 🙂 Perhaps they are demonstrating with fireworks? /HC

Stevens: …send help immediately… two dead… I’m bleeding… aaargh… /CS

Clinton: …Well, I told you, it really makes no difference at this point. /HC

This is of course totally unrealistic, Stevens would never have written “aaargh” in his email.