I suggested this a while ago as advice for Obama during the 2010 midterms (which he didn’t take and then the Dems got creamed), but now I’m going to suggest this as the absolute best economic policy Obama is capable of: He should get trapped down a well.
Think about it. We’ll turn on the news (just pretend this is the 90’s and we still turn on the TV for news instead of going to the Twitters because dramatically that works better) and we see this report: “While out on a stroll, President Obama fell down a well and became trapped. And he is very scared.” And then there will be a picture of Obama down in the well with his big puppy dog eyes looking all frightened and our hearts will just break.
Soon, Joe Biden would be on TV looking all befuddled (well, more than usual). “I guess I’m acting president… I don’t know. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. But there is one thing we all can do: We can work extra hard and turn this economy around for that brave little guy trapped down the well!”
And we will work extra hard, because that poor little fella needs us to do that to show him support! And businesses will soon realize: “Hey, since Obama is trapped down a well, he can’t pass anymore idiotic legislation. We’re safe for now!” The businesses, feeling more secure, will start expanding. We’ll soon have a booming economy.
Eventually, they’ll get Obama out of the well, and then they’ll tell him about the great economy he now has, and then he’ll pump his little fists in the air and yell, “I did it!”
And then maybe he’ll try to pass more legislation and ruin everything, but we’ll have a good economy for a while.
So, anyway, foolproof plan for Obama to get the economy growing: Get trapped down a well.
Email me if you need my PO Box to send me a Nobel Prize in Economics.
If Michelle could fall in with him, I’m sure the recovery would go twice as fast!
Wouldn’t throwing him into a dungeon accomplish our goal?
…or he could just charge up his Green Lantern power ring and force the economy to recover.
(see National Journal article “What if Obama can’t lead?”)
Does the “auto-pen” work if he is trapped down a well? I think that is how he signs most things because doing it in person might make him miss his tee time or interfere with a vacation. I think that most of the executive orders are thought up by George Soros and funneled through Valarie Jarret so unless they fall down the well also things might not change as much as we would hope for.
@2, What part of South Dakota? I have lived all over the state but currently in the Brookings area.
I see several problems with your theory.
1. You assume the occupant is in charge, so that being down the well will keep the pimps from acting
2. You assume anyone will notice he has fallen in a well
3. You assume joey is capable of understanding well, anything.
4. You assume that the occupant will eventually be rescued, because with all that good business, the rescuers may be just to busy.
Watching Democrats try to invent a device that can retrieve a bill they drop down to him in the well for signing would be the most entertaining event of his term.
Can we cap the well with concrete? It’s dried up.