Archive of entries posted on August 2013

Biblical

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Remember the scene in Ghostbusters where the team tries to tell the mayor that a disaster of Biblical proportions was coming? Bill Murray’s character offered his take on it:

[YouTube]

…human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together … mass hysteria!

Well, it’s close. In Detroit, at least.

You’re probably heard about reports of packs of dogs running around, possibly as many as 50,000.

But, it’s turned out that cats may be a problem, too. The Detroit Free Press reports that in at least one neighborhood, at least one large cat is stalking the area [notice: link contains auto-start video]. (Tip: Paul Mitchell)

A leader with the neighborhood association where the cat is roaming said several residents have contacted him after seeing the big feline.

“I’m really concerned,” said Vondell Boyer, 55, vice president of the Greenbrier Council. Boyer and other residents said they’re worried that if the cat runs out of rabbits, squirrels and other small critters to eat, it will target small kids.

(Tom) McPhee, (executive director of the World Animal Awareness Society, based in Ann Arbor) who is helping conduct a study of stray dogs in Detroit, said there are about 10-20 stray cats in the city for every stray dog.

See what 51 years of Democrats running things gets you? A disaster of Biblical proportions.

Random Thoughts: Batfleck

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Thought things were finally getting better, but now we’re in what in the future will be known as the “Ben Affleck as Batman” era

If Starbucks allows guns, it will be exactly like every other business in the 40+ right to carry states. Scary.

“Ben, we want you to be Batman and direct the Justice League movie.”
“Wow! Why are you doing this?”
“I’m a big Marvel fan.”

Bat-meh

They took the nipples off the Batman suit only to put Ben Affleck in it. #LateralMove

“So what drives you? Did something horrible happen to you in the past? Were your parents murdered?”
“I was portrayed by Ben Affleck.”

And what was Obama doing when they announced Ben Affleck as Batman? Golfing. #EmptyChair

When the Founding Fathers wrote the 1st Amendment, they never considered that someone might cast Ben Affleck as Batman.

Was going to call the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman racist to try to get it changed, but then I was afraid we’d end up with Tyler Perry.

So far the only people I’ve see for Ben Affleck as Batman are Democrat politicians. These are the people you want running your health care?

Now Jim Gordon will keep turning around hoping to see that Batman’s left.

“2 + 2 = 4”
“Bigot!”

People shouldn’t be haters, but you also can’t defy all logic and science and expect people not to notice.

Did He Blame Bush, Congressional Republicans, or Global Warming?

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During a recent Obama outing, the official presidential ambulance ran out of gas.

Folks, on this one, do I even need to SAY the words “Obamacare metaphor”?

How to Divide a Country (Metaphorically Speaking)

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[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #169,041)

Pick a topic that will separate one ideological group from another.

Soak it in volatile rhetoric.

Turn up the heat on it until the story catches fire in the media.

“Solve” the issue by quickly passing a bad law to “cool people off”.

Watch the nation fracture.

Target Market

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A California state senator is pushing a bill that would require people to purchase a permit to buy ammunition.

I’m sure the state will reap a windfall in fees from all the law-abiding muggers out there.

Link of the Day: Good News! The Left Is Parodyable Again

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[High Praise! to Real Clear Markets via Nuking Politics]

Federal Judge Rules Food Stamp Recipients Can Unionize

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

lolbama! Part 150

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Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Smilin’ Jack:

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From Smilin’ Jack:

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From Smilin’ Jack:

[reference link]

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Arik:

From Arik:

[reference link]

From Hatless in Hattiesburg:

From Katy:

From Katy:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Smilin’ Jack:

[reference link]

From Smilin’ Jack:

From Tanstaafl44:

From Travelwise42 of Wise Up!:

From Uncle George:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

Kris for knowing the works of Scotland’s only poet.

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

IMAGE SOURCES: Lots of great Obama pics to be found at the White House Flickr page.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Herpetologically Speaking

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Angry over the NSA scandal, director Oliver Stone called President Obama a “snake”.

Seems unfair to snakes, since they don’t actually SPEAK with their forked tongues.

Good Luck to Chelsea Clinton Manning on Her New Life

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[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Yes, I’m Sure 97% of Them Backed Romney in 2012

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A new poll shows that less than 3% of federal government employees want to give up their current health plans and join Obamacare.

Fellas, it’s a little late to regret blowing up the bridge after you’ve voted for the dynamite.

Link of the Day: Satire – Looking Back on the Life of Barack Obama

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(Submitted by Hatless in Hattiesburg via Sultan Knish [High Praise!])

Looking Back on the Life of Barack Obama

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Eventually, I Will Post This Comic to Announce My Retirement from IMAO

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[High Praise! to Chainsawsuit]

NOTE: This is not a retirement announcement. Had this been an actual retirement announcement, you would have been instructed to panic in the streets and resort to cannibalism.

Keep calm and carry on.

Also Suing Newton for Inventing Inertia

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The Washington State Supreme Court ruled this week that a drunk driver can sue the power company for installing the utility pole he hit.

Unbelievable. The carmaker gets off scot-free?

Harsh, But Fair

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[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Obama Doesn’t Get This One

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(Submitted by AT [High Praise!])

[title reference link]