Prepare for 2016 Disappointment

So who do you like least as the Republican presidential candidate for 2016? Well, prepare for that person to be the nominee. Come on, people, we’ve done this a few times and we know how it works. The chance of getting a Republican nominee who is even remotely tolerable is pretty minute. It could happen, but it’s not something we can count on. So it’s a good idea to get grumpy about the 2016 nominee now so we’re not too shocked by whomever it actually is a few years from now.

Of course, I remind you, I become old enough to be president next year and I will accept the job if offered. And unlike any other candidate, I have no plans to do anything if elected. If president, I plan to just collect my weekly paycheck (wait, how often do they pay?) and basically play video games all the time while ignoring everyone’s whiny cries to help them. Because this is America. You handle your own problems.

Do you get that promise from Chris Christie? He’s going to try to do stuff, and the only way to distract him will be to keep delivering him pounds and pounds of cooked bacon, which is expensive.

Will you get that promise from Rubio? No, he’s going to “reform” immigration. While the only thing I will actually do as president is protect our nation’s sovereignty. In fact, if the problem is anything other than we’re being invaded, I will get really angry if bothered. I might even discharge a firearm — as I’ll be able to get away with that since I’m president.

So, if you want someone who is going to finally get into the presidency and have the wisdom to do nothing with all that power, remember Frank J. for 2016. I promise nothing, and I will deliver.

8 Comments

  1. “…I will accept the job if offered.

    What the hell kind of do-nothing attitude is that? You’ve got to be way more proactive about doing nothing than that. Try sitting on your hands, Frank.

  2. This is the most promising platform I’ve seen from any candidate since Reagan.

    I think I’d still do a better job because in addition to not doing anything productive, I’d also dismantle almost the entire executive branch and fire everyone I could. About the only people I’d keep would be the military and some judges (and I’d still fire half the judges too).

    My cabinent would be reduced to the Secretary of Defense and the Attorney General. Maybe I’d keep the Secretary of State too, but no promises on that.

  3. Hey, I am done with the GOP and their “barely better than the democrat till we win and its safe to cave to their demands” election strategy. If Dems win again, fine. I am really to the point where I don’t see a way of saving the Old Republic . Let it burn. Let there be a period – brought upon them by their own hands, where the looting non-contributing zeros who call themselves Democrats die starving in the streets. I was going to just not vote, but, now Frank J is my write in. Nothing would please me more than seeing the GOP establishment loose the election because 10% of the party voted for Frank J.

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