"Excuse me for teaching drowning people to BELIEVE in themselves." -Lazy lifeguard
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) August 26, 2013
What would I do for a Klondike bar? Purchase one.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 26, 2013
In the middle of an argument, when you're really in the screaming heat of it, throw in, "I HATE YOUR SHOES!" Their expression is gold.
— John Cheese (@johncheese) August 26, 2013
In the middle of an argument, when you're really in the screaming heat of it, throw in, "I HATE YOUR SHOES!" Their expression is gold.
— John Cheese (@johncheese) August 26, 2013
Every conversation I've had with the plumber boils down to: "why does this cost so much?" "Because you can't do it."
— James Lileks (@Lileks) August 26, 2013
Is there an anti-war movement out there, or do we have to wait for President Christie first?
— David Freddoso (@freddoso) August 26, 2013
The Kool-Aid man was a really lousy sniper in Vietnam.
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 26, 2013
If you need graduate school to understand how something is racist, it's not.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 26, 2013