[High Praise! to 4of7 of Little Worlds]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Archive of entries posted on August 2014
Wisdom of the Day: Pyramids Shushes Eyes Deer Butterfly Six-String
"Your majesty, I present to you … the PYRAMIDS!"
"Hmmm. Nope, don't like 'em. Curse them immediately and store dead bodies in them."
— John Cheese (@johncheese) August 5, 2014
*Loudly shushes an excited woman who just got engaged at the table next to mine*
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) August 5, 2014
*undresses you with my eyes*
"wow this is taking forever I probably should've used my hands instead"
— Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) August 5, 2014
*stops riding a deer*
I guess you could say…
I'm off my game.
— Maeberys Marbaryen (@maebemarbles) August 5, 2014
In retrospect, the butterfly sanctuary was a bad place to show off my nunchaku skills
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) August 6, 2014
Bryan Adams was excited to get his "first real six-string" in Summer of '69 because prior to that he'd been sold several fakes.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) August 6, 2014
They’re Too Late
Before meeting with the Egyptian President, John Kerry was forced to go through a metal detector security screening.
How insulting! Any metal Kerry may have had got thrown over a fence in DC decades ago.
Obama Warned Us – Cake & Pie
“Some people prefer cake. I like pie.” — President Obama http://ofa.bo/q0Sp
“But I’m all for cake for the American people. In fact, I definitely think we should let them eat cake.”
Straight Line of the Day: Now That the NBA Has Hired Its First Female Coach…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Now that the NBA has hired its first female coach…
Bicycle Race
Everyone’s seen the pictures of Obama riding a bike. Turns out that his Secretary of State can ride a bike, too.
So, in a bicycle race between Barack Obama and John Kerry, who would win?
[Credit: Obama – AP, Kerry – Eliana Johnson]
Random Thoughts: Null
I have no random thoughts. Perhaps it’s happened as I always feared: I’ve ran out of clever things to say for good. Every day I always think, “That’s the last clever thing I’ll ever come up with.” and maybe now it’s finally come true. If so, it’s been a good run. Well, it’s been an okay run.
It’s been a run.
Second Verse, Same As the First
During his weekly radio address, President Obama said “every worker deserves to know that if you lose your job, your country will help you train for an even better one.”
…that Obamacare will also take away.
Startin’ to Look Like Gollum
Ambiguous
During a kids’ event at the White House, Michelle Obama said “I’m making a vow – I’m going to take a break from French fries.”
Oh… eating them or demonizing them?
Never Stated, But Always Implied
Link of the Day: Satire – GOP Balks, House Democrats Move to Impeach Obama
[High Praise! to ScrappleFace]
GOP Balks, House Democrats Move to Impeach Obama
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Dog Soldier Marriage Willis Girl
Son I'm sorry but we had to send your dog to a farm. A death farm. For dead pets. More of a trash bag than a farm really. Take out the trash
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 3, 2014
[soldier dying in my arms]
"You take this & you give it to my wife."
"No [pushes watch back to soldier] she lives really far away from me."
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) August 1, 2014
Tips for a happy marriage? 1.) Stop 2.) Collaborate 3.) Listen.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) August 4, 2014
Don’t freak out, but I just saw a poorly disguised Bruce Willis running through an airport in slow motion.
— Daniel Foster (@DanFosterType) August 4, 2014
*sits next to girl at bar*
hey babe how old are u?
"Go to hell"
*glances down at Age Of Consent card* let me start over. what state is this?
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) August 4, 2014
Obama Will Be a Cult Classic
During an interview on NBC, John Kerry said that “the American people ought to be proud” of President Obama’s foreign policy accomplishments.
Yes, in the same way and for the same reason the producers of “Sharknado” must be proud.
Obama Warned Us – Broke
“You won’t go broke just because you got sick.” —President Obama on the Affordable Care Act #OpportunityForAll
“You’ll go broke because you can’t afford your new premium.”