Final Jeopardy Clue Stumps All: No One Knows “What Democrats Would Do Differently if They Were Deliberately Trying to Collapse Western Civilization”

Democrats are calling for a boycott of the show because none of the contestants received participant ribbons.

CULVER CITY, CA (AP) – In a comparatively rare event on America’s favorite game show, all three Jeopardy! contestants were stumped by the Final Jeopardy answer of “What Democrats would do differently if they were deliberately trying to collapse western civilization”, with none of them able to provide the correct question.

Jonas Grumby, a retired Navy Captain, explained how he missed what he later conceded to be a “gimme” clue.

“As a retired Navy officer, I tend to think of America’s greatness in terms of its military strength,” said Grumby, “so I was pretty confident the correct response would have something to do with weakening the military. Well, the obvious thing would be to undermine the readiness of our troops by filling combat operations billets with physically unqualified personnel. So I put down “what is putting women in combat roles?”. After Alex Trebek read the correct question, I literally – and you can see this on the YouTube clip – smacked myself in the forehead when I realized my response was wrong because Democrats were already doing that.”

Mary Ann Summers, a farmer from Winfield, Kansas, said she was “blindsided” when the correct response was revealed.

“I’ve raised a lot of animals and a lot of crops in my day,” said Summers. “Farming’s hard work, and you have to work with reality. Farmers who work with wishful thinking… well, I buy a lot of their equipment for cheap at foreclosure auctions. So I was thinking that what would really wreck things is persuading people that wishful thinking was just as real as the laws of nature. You can call a rooster a chicken, but you’re sure not gonna have eggs for breakfast if you do. So I said ‘what is promoting gender confusion?’ Then Alex said what the correct question was, and I just blushed from head to toe, because I realized that Democrats were already doing that.”

Professor Roy Hinkley, a man with doctorate degrees in physics, engineering, and chemistry said he felt “foolish” for failing Final Jeopardy.

“I’m a well-credentialed man, and I love doing research,” said Hinkley “but over recent months, I’ve dealt with a lot of student protests on campus. Smashing windows, overturning cars, setting things on fire – usually over something stupid, like a speaker coming to campus the College Democrats didn’t invite. And I’ve been beat up a few times walking across the campus just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How am I supposed to think and create and invent when I’m laid up in a hospital and hooligans have set my lab on fire? So I was positive I had the right question when I wrote “what is protect violence like it was free speech?” That confident feeling dissolved like potassium chlorate in sulfuric acid when Alex read the correct question. I guess I really am the ‘absent-minded professor’, because that’s when it hit me like an Antifa baseball bat: Democrats are already doing that.”

On the now-viral video clip, Alex Trebek can clearly be heard reading the correct response: “What is nothing?”

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