So You Didn’t Laugh When Cheney Hit a Kid in the Head with a Kitten?

I wrote a nice little post about how everyone loves IMAO (I even got an e-mail from a liberal today who enjoys IMAO), but then I found this comment (edited for language):

This website SUCKS!!! What a bunch of sick ronin you all are. I HATE neo-cons! Your gun worshipping is revolting. Go blow away each other in your self-righteousness. Keep a handgun with you at all times! Shoot first and ask questions later, just like dick(head) cheney did while quail hunting! Go blow up the rest of the world, go nuke them to prove how “bad ass” you really are. Yee-haw! Then kill all the liberals, kill all the socialists, kill all the Europeans (because they aren’t into “intelligent design” and still prefer science (you know–the science that brought you the internet…your PC…you Mac…your chemo-therapy if you ever had cancer…etc). I just don’t get you people. I think you are ruining my country. There is SERIOUS division in this country now. I think it will only get much worse in the years to come.

I’d respond to the substance of this comment, but IT’S ALL TOTALLY TRUE!
Still, this person seems unhappy. People should be happy. You, Mr. Liberal, need to be more happy. Find a grassy field on a sunny day and spend the afternoon chasing butterflies. After that, you come back and comment again. I’m sure your comment will be much more happy and make us all happy too. Then the circle of happiness goes on!
Remember, ronin, many liberals out there are just in need of a hug, so go hug them and make them happy.
IMAO accepts no responsibility for hug related mishaps. Anyone who takes advice from Frank J. is doing so at his own risk and against the advice of about any lawyer.

No Comments

  1. Frank, we need your help being happy here in Mountain View. It was below freezing at sunrise, and nearly everybody is sad. Come quickly! Be funny! The butterflies are frozen! I’m running out of exclamation points!

  2. “Go blow up the rest of the world, go nuke them to prove how “bad ass” you really are. Yee-haw! Then kill all the liberals, kill all the socialists, kill all the Europeans”
    Gosh…some really good suggestions. Should get started right away on this or wait until tomorrow?
    I think I need to read Everybody Loves Cheney again, and I’ve got some clothes to wash, so let’s put off nuking the world until tomorrow. But then, definetly, I’m ALL for it!!! YEE HAW!!!

  3. Finally, a dirty hippie commie leftie with some good suggestions. I say we shoot first and ask questions later, kill liberals, socialists (isn’t that a bit redundant? Didn’t we get them all when we killed the liberals?) and Europeans and then nuke the middle-east. after all, it appears we finally have liberal approval for doing that … and that’s all we were waiting for, approval of the enemy (or is that enema?)

  4. //Remember, ronin, many liberals out there are just in need of a hug, so go hug them and make them happy.//
    You gotta be careful hugging one of these guys though, since they don’t bathe, the slime from their paranoid sweat will stick to you for weeks. Also they may attempt to sue you for “invading their personal space”, you know how lawsuit happy they are, ACLU and all…

  5. ” Keep a handgun with you at all times! Shoot first and ask questions later, just like dick(head) cheney did while quail hunting! Go blow up the rest of the world, go nuke them to prove how “bad ass” you really are.”
    Well, it’s a start.

  6. Your gun worshipping is revolting?
    I thought we worshipped Jesus or maybe Bush. I’m so confused now.
    I think you are ruining my country
    Ruining it? You’re the progressive, buster. We conservatives are trying to keep it from being changed.
    And if its your country why don’t I see your name on it?

  7. AlanABQ, are you suggesting Al Gore designed the world?
    Couldn’t be, because the theory is entitled “INTELLIGENT Design.”

    No, U.H., I was merely remembering Al’s statement years ago that he was (somehow) responsible for the internet.

  8. “the Europeans… prefer science; you know–the science that brought you the internet…”
    Not that anybody who visits this site need be reminded of it, but the internet is based on the TCP/IP Protocol suite developed by the US military during the Cold War. Not by European science, and certainly not by European communism/socialism – by the good old American Christian Capitalist ethic.

  9. Ok, I’ve re-read Everyone Loves Cheney, had a good laugh, and washed my clothes. I’m ready to get started on this nuke the world bit. I say we start with Europe first since Europeans are both liberal and socialist. It’s hitting three birds with one stone (or two quail and one friend for Cheney).
    So who do we call to get this under way? Rumsfeld or Rove?

  10. Ursine: Actually I’d say that the ARPANET infrastructure was more the product of the Roosevelt / Truman / Kennedy / Johnson Democratic Party. (Alongside the Eisenhower / Nixon faction of the Republicans who really weren’t all that different.) They believed that Big Public Works were the way to safeguard America. They treated capitalism as good for providing luxuries, mainly, but were happy to raise taxes for all manner of social programs. (Not all of which were bad; I do like me some inter-web and all those weapons were kick ass.)
    And as for Christianity, that was just something the rulers of the day made a fuss over to keep the masses in line. Boob bait for bubbas. Most of the big scientific discoveries were made by agnostics and (especially) Jews.
    Pedantry aside, your problem, I think, lies in a mistaken projection of today’s partisan divide back into the 1940-1966 WW2 / early Cold War era. Remember that the Democratic leaders were on our side then…

  11. frankj, you should just say, “raise your hand if you have a patent.” what was that for again? some science-y engineering thing right? oh and did you get one of these? the place i’m currently temping at is lousy with plaques.

  12. Patrick, you can’t be liberal and act calm and civilized while trying to say something in a way that doesn’t make you look like a complete a-hole. It goes against the natural order of the liberals on IMAO.

  13. hey, the lib actually has some good ideas for a change. Here’s a list of the good ones:
    *Gun Worshiping
    *Keep a handgun with you at all times
    *Shoot first, ask questions later
    *Nuke the rest of the world
    *Kill the Liberals
    *Kill the Socialists
    *Kill the Eoruopeans a third time
    *Fix the division in the country by killing the liberals

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