Allahpundit has been running Hot Air himself this week and is constantly worried about traffic. Since he’s one of my favorite bloggers, I decided to give him suggestions on headlines that would bring in lots of traffic based on what usually gets tons of comments on Hot Air. Here’s what I came up with (and other people had suggestions too):
“Scientists have determined that Ida the monkey-lemur fossil believed we deserved 9/11.”
“Sarah Palin announces she is an atheist and a creationist.”
“Police officer on suspension for inexcessive taser use on Code Pink protester.”
“Christian Coalition strongly condemns the use of humping robots for celebratory purposes.”
“Allahpundit finally revealed in video of him being excessively tasered by police.”
“Scientists prove existence of God; conservatives become atheists out of distrust of science.”
“Scientists say they got evolution backwards; monkeys evolved from us and should be made our masters.”
“Video of lemur fossil being tasered by police proves evolution and that Palin is sinking the GOP.”
“Andrew Sullivan insinuates that Obama is Trig’s real father.”
“Lady Gaga admits she planned 9/11.”
“New rule: All articles submitted to scientific journals must start with ‘Take that, Christians!'”
“Obama spotted praying when he thought no one was looking; supporters feel betrayed.”
“Anonymous blogger Allahpundit revealed to be Sarah Palin.”
“Allahpundit: I’ve thought long and hard about and have decided to become a snake handling Christian.”
Here are my recommendations.
How about this one:
“Ed Returns; Allahpundit Goes Into Temporary Retirement”
Just kidding. I love Allahpundit and hotair.com!
Without the Telepromper? Bold but unwise!
“Meghan McCain releases opinion on lemur fossil and Sarah Palin!”
AAAAAAhhhh! I clicked on Frank’s link and it sent me to twitter. I feel so gay and dirty.
I don’t know why Allahpundit would be so worried about traffic: http://www.sitemeter.com/?a=stats&s=s25hotair&r=35
About the same as the week before, and only a little worse than normal.
Here’s a random thought…..when you consider who is number two and three in succession behind the president, you better hope Obama is immortal.
zzyzx, Or whomever decides takes them out does so during a SOU speech with a high-yield weapon?
Not threatening, Intrusive Government Search Engine Looking For Subversives, just speculating. Please tell the FBI and Secret Service to relax or I won’t take coffee out to their “unmarked” surveillance van anymore.
“Obama caught with head under Pelosi’s skirt – or is it visa versa?”
“Hillary grows a second penis and it’s shot-off by Dick Cheney!”
“UssJimmyCarter reveals his true identity as Sarah Palin’s helicopter wolf-killer!!”
semi-nude photos of missing link lemur fossil with Miss California & Sarah Palin
Oh, and,
“Socrates was/is actually Roman. Who knew?”
FRANK YOU #@%$*. (Wow simulated yelling and cursing). You Twitttered me w/o my concent. I feel so violated. Plentyobailouts we need to start handing out the tourches and pitchforks. Here’s my headline.
Twittering may be linked to gender confusion.
“Obama caught with head under Pelosi’s skirt – or is it visa versa?”
Bwahahahahaha!
1) Ida the mennkee-lemur confirmed to be Janeane Gar-of A.L.O.’s aborted baby. 2) Sarah Palin announces Andrew Sullivan is O-bah-muhh’s snake handler. 3) Humping robots prove the existance of celebratory porpoises. 4) Scientists in radiation suits, with flower pots on their head announce that the rate of De-evolution is directly proportional to the rate of Twittering. 5)Creationists call for suspension of animation, cartoonists feel betrayed.
Used to love hotair but it seems allahpundit has been on some anti Palin athiest/anti religion assault for some time now.
I dont read his posts there anymore. I think MM would do well to drop his ass.
There are a LOT of better choices out there than AP.
You forgot his tag lines. You can’t mimic Allahpundit with out his tag lines and favorite topics:
– Heart Ache: Fox Sexpert finds masturbation causes likeleness in registering Democrat.
– Dude: Meghan McCain admits Bacon covered chocolate cake is why I’m fat and Republican.
-Disgrace: Nancy Pelosi, I knew nothing of that memo to President Bush, in my handwriting, on my letter head, Hand delivered by me while being followed by a camera crew from CSPAN that said “Waterboard the SOB! I Fully Support you”
-Gulp: Democrats lead Republicans 10 to 1 in welfare dependant neighborhoods.
-Finally: the Carrie Prejean vs. Meghan McCain Jello wrestling for a date with Allapundit.
I enjoy Allapundit comentary. He’s one of my top 10 pundits. The only thing that bothers me is we have no clue who he is. The only thing I can see is a clue is his frequent use of pictures of atomic explosions…. What if this was a clue to who he really is. Can’t think of it now but I remember some other dude liked putting atomic explosions on his blog…
At Nutzoid,
He posts whatever people like, and he decides what people like by how many comments it gets. He is also very pessimistic.
It has been confirmed that Jimmy has had a sex change operation in hopes of a lesbian affair with Janet Napalitano…
Twitter was invented by teh gays and has been hugely successful as a recruiting tool for new gays by simply contacting any new male members…
Democrats confirm evolution. God simply would not have created a species that stupid! It remains to explain how natural selection allowed them to survive the “weeding out” process…
I’m with Nutzoid! I’m weary of the Anti-Christian, Anti-Creationist Screeds and don’t go there as much anymore.
Washington D.C. (Hotair). Allahpundit confirmed today that ussjimmycarter is indeed Barack Obama’s telepropter IT manager and programmer. USSJC gave up his job killing wolves for Palin to go to D.C. and work for The One. Why, no one knows. But he can be seen following Obama around the White House with laptop strapped around his neck while carrying two teleprompter pads and muttering, “I’z ready, boss. I’z ready.” Occasionally, he’s seen kneeling and smiling before The One as he hooks up cables for an impromptu Presidential discussion with a staff member. “Juz read from side-to-side, sir, like ya alwayz do. Start on da Left.”
I’m tired of allahpunndit. Atheism is tiresome as a philosophy. The best atheist writers are the ones who don’t write about atheism. And the ones who do, always leave me wondering, “if you’re an atheist, and you believe that when we’re dead, we cease to exist, and that the universe is eventually going to run down, and there will be no life left at all anywhere, why do you care whether anybody agrees with you or not? Wouldn’t it make more sense just to eat, drink, and be merry? And if you do care, for some reason that has to do with altruism, doesn’t that kind of point in some way to the existence of God anyway?”. I know that there are some connections between those questions that need to be fleshed out, but this post is too long already.
Eh.. So what if Allahpundit is an athiest. It’s a personal decision. Doesn’t stop him from having good points, good commentary, and he does great research. Besides, You shouldn’t stop reading Hot Air because on out of two posters doesn’t belive the same thing you do. You should read it for it’s Great annalysis, Amazing links to other stories, and going there supports it’s owner, Michelle Malkin, WHO IS HOT!!! All good Americans should should support right wing hot chicks.
Exit Question: Why do American Veterans esentialy get, not one, but two hollidays?
Answer: BECAUSE THEY @%#$ING DESERVE IT!! If you served in the military, Thank you!
You have me Jimmy! And my evil plans to make Barry sound like a dick are quite splendid! Muwhahahahahahaha!!!!
BigRichard, Understand your viewpoint but the constant tripe leads those of us of faith to also freely choose not to waste our time! There is too much great stuff like IMAO and Iowahawk to waste time on dribble…
Anonymous blogger revealed to be Dick Cheney!
It’s understandable getting tired of view points, especialy if they are core beliefs. (Fake out Frank with a fake news article about how Idaho will now make you have insurance if you have a firearm incase you shoot some one, and see him go off on a 1000+ post.) Allapndit isn’t pulling the same crap LGF is. Captian Ed is openly religious, and Michelle is hot. I think he’s been pretty fair about religion. I don’t think I’ve seen him talk down to people in his posts when addressing the issue. It makes you cringe when someone brings it up mainly because if you truly belive in god you want to learn about him, not argue.
I think every bloger I’ve ever read will have a position I don’t agree with. Religion, fine, don’t believe in god. As long as you don’t ask me to take out the Judeo-Christian beliefs and statements this country was founded on, that position only affects you. I didn’t start beliving in god because of a blog post, and I won’t stop because one of the good one’s out there doesn’t belive in god.
you guys wanna come to my church?