Posted on March 12, 2010 3:07 pm

Zombie at Pajamas Media looks at all the other type elemental footprints we have besides carbon. It’s hard to reduce your footprints, so I want mine to be as big as possible. Thousands of years from now, I want archeologists to say, “Wow. You can sure tell Frank was here.” That would make me feel good.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (22 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

16 Responses to “Footprints”

  1. ussjimmycarter says:

    I could make a penis print! All the chick scientists would be like wow and really horny and stuff…

  2. Jimmy says:

    You could, ussjc. But will you?

    Now, what I don’t understand is how the gaseous elements leave a “footprint.” For example, how do we classify environmentalists who leave a gaseous stink everywhere they go? As a foul fog…print?

  3. DamnCat says:

    Michelle O. leaves one ginormous ass-print

  4. Jimmy says:

    …in a class with Hillary’s gargantuan thunder thighs, Damncat. Capable of squeezing ussjimmycarter’s penis into a black hole and out of existence!

  5. Burmashave says:

    I subscribe to the “Last Oreo Theory” of environmental conservation. Let’s say there are only 2-3 Oreo’s in the cookie jar. Because there are only a couple, it doesn’t really matter who gets them, so you might as well eat them before anyone else gets them.

    It’s the same with natural resources. If we’re running out anyway, conservation isn’t going to do much, so I might as well use and burn all I can.

  6. Son of Bob says:


    You’re right. And, how confused future scientists will be as they try to figure out why a big fat chick was supposedly the spokesperson against fat kids.

  7. DamnCat says:

    I’m with you, Burmashave. People are always saying how we have to save oil. Save it for what? You gonna put it in a museum or something?

    As long as oil is around people will depend on it. The less of it there is, the closer mankind will be to a replacement. I’m doing the world a favor with my lead foot and my big V8. Not that the world ever thanks me for it. Stupid world.

  8. DamnCat says:

    Yeah, Son of Bob – it’s strange. Her ass gets wider as she works to make sure there are fewer fat kids. What happened to all those fat kids? Is their disappearance somehow related to her ass getting wider…hmmm?

  9. Live Free Or Die says:

    Don’t forget, on March 27th, 8:30PM Local Time, to Increase your Photon Footprint to offset all the Libtards who will be turning of their lights for EarthHour.

  10. Tommy the Towelhead says:

    We need to close all hippie health food stores to help offset their methane footprint, and whatever other gases emanate from their filthy, unwashed bodies and their smoking Subarus.

  11. MarkoMancuso says:

    Ussjc’s penis, Michelle Obama’s buttocks, we are on a roll tonight, my friends!

  12. Jimmy says:

    Thanks for the reminder Live Free! Speaking of being on a roll, Marko… Earth Hour. That’s the time when I announce to all my liberal relatives (who doesn’t have them – they’re like the plague!) that I’m turning everything ON in celebration of Michael Faraday, Carl Gauss, Nicola Tesla and James Maxwell. As far as I’m concerned, my liberal relatives can all return to the cave… naked and cold.

    (I know I’m leaving some great people out: Georg Ohm, Joseph Henry, Alessandro Volta, Charles de Coulomb, etc.)

  13. Corona says:

    Frank, yor face would make the biggest carbon footprint. Just ask Sarah, as she is about to roundhouse kick you. For fun.

  14. Burtt says:

    To properly control footprints, aren’t we somehow dependent on Manalo?

  15. 4of7 says:

    Good article.
    I particularly liked the bit about Lead footprints.

  16. Burmashave says:


    I like that plan. Normally I just turn on all the lights to spite liberals. A celebration is an even much betterer idea.

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>