Straight Line of the Day: After Sending a Monkey Into Space, Iran…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…
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January 31st, 2013 at 12:07 pm
…demanded that Israel give up all its claims to Jewpiter.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:10 pm
…realized they actually sent a life sized shooting dummy of Obama because they saw his ears but couldn’t distinguish the rest of his bullet-covered body.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:14 pm
…claimed ownership of the solar system for Allah, and told the U.S. they could kiss Uranus goodbye.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…payed back Allah by sending a virgin to him.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:21 pm
…watched calmly, and waited for Allah to strike down anything non-Iranian from the heavens.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:23 pm
…lamented not having another Iranian smart enough to repeat their triumph.
…ordered more Mentos and Coke.
…tried to patent their gravity powered re-entry system (Monkey compatible spatula included!!!).
January 31st, 2013 at 12:26 pm
says it’s intentions are peaceful and not to worry about monkeys being dropped from space on New York.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…tried to claim all flyingspacemonkey related internet domains and merchandise.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:30 pm
…’s news service posted pictures Mahmoud Ahmadinejad entering the capsule in his space suit just before he was blasted into space.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:35 pm
… realized that they had just lost their only friend.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:42 pm
…claimed mohammed wrote the flying monkey scene in the wizard of oz and demanded the death of L. Frank Baum
January 31st, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Bombed a marketplace in Tel Aviv.
Bombed a bus in Jerusalem.
Shot a rocket into homes in Golan.
January 31st, 2013 at 12:57 pm
…. and upon return, the Ayatollah claimed all of space for allah
… and realized they had spent their entire brain trust into orbit
… and thus the origins for Blip from Space Ghost
January 31st, 2013 at 1:00 pm
…celebrated their mastery of mid-20th century technology.
January 31st, 2013 at 1:00 pm
… got a “like” on their home page from Obama. (Yes, I know, it should have been on their Facebook page, but, well, it’s Obama.)
January 31st, 2013 at 1:02 pm
… chuckled Iranically, remembering Biden’s comments in his debate with Paul Ryan:
VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: . . . they have to be able to have something to put it in. There is no weapon that the Iranians have at this point. Both the Israelis and we know we’ll know if they start the process of building a weapon. . . What — what more can the president do? Stand before the United Nations, tell the whole world, directly communicate to the ayatollah: We will not let them acquire a nuclear weapon, period, unless he’s talking about going to war.
. . .
…I was in a conference call with the — with the president, with him talking to Bibi, for well over an hour in — in — in — in — in stark relief and detail about what was going on. This is a bunch of stuff. Look, here’s the deal —
MS. RADDATZ: What does that mean, “a bunch of stuff”?
VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: Well, it means it’s simply inaccurate.
REP. RYAN: It’s Irish. (Chuckles.)
VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: It is. (Laughter.) We Irish call it malarkey.
January 31st, 2013 at 1:03 pm
…facepalmed, realizing they’d just shot off their best scientist.
January 31st, 2013 at 1:06 pm
Realized that they should have sent a woman instead.
January 31st, 2013 at 1:11 pm
.. said “I hate to say ayatollah so!”
January 31st, 2013 at 1:16 pm
… wished they could get the monkey to ride the rocket back to the earth, like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove, yelling “Ji-HAWWWWD !!!!”
January 31st, 2013 at 1:20 pm
…Nasa realized their Muslim outreach program was working just fine.
January 31st, 2013 at 1:44 pm
…called for the continuation of fatwa on monkey spankers.
…tried to figure why the monkey didn’t explode and leave a radioactive mushroom cloud like the ACME company promised.
…explained to Obama’s aide that no invitation to a monkey lunch had been offered.
January 31st, 2013 at 2:12 pm
…apologized, saying they thought they were sending a Jew into space.
January 31st, 2013 at 2:26 pm
…passed it around to all the Iman’s to have sex with it (a nice change of pace from the regular goats they usually party with), and then eat it…
January 31st, 2013 at 2:39 pm
@Rodney they’ll never get my email address. NEVAH!
January 31st, 2013 at 2:39 pm
…gave the monkey the usual hero’s welcome – a private room with a goat and/or camel.
January 31st, 2013 at 2:53 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…realized it was a female monkey and had it flogged for not wearing a burkha.
January 31st, 2013 at 2:54 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…updated its MySpace page to tout its cutting edge space program.
January 31st, 2013 at 2:57 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran… thanked Testors for the model rocket kit.
January 31st, 2013 at 3:06 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…denied it was connected to the disappearance of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s girlfriend.
January 31st, 2013 at 3:06 pm
…was countered by the U.S. response, “So what, we put a jackass in the Whitehouse.”
January 31st, 2013 at 3:09 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…announced plans to build a container that would protect an egg if dropped off the top of a two-story building.
January 31st, 2013 at 3:10 pm
…announced the deployment of an orbital poo cannon.
January 31st, 2013 at 3:15 pm
said, “You’d be surprised what happens if you feed a monkey enough beans.”
January 31st, 2013 at 3:16 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…was taken aback when they lifted it from the capsule and it shouted, “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”
January 31st, 2013 at 4:27 pm
… immediately renamed the monkey “Al je-Zira,” in hopes of winning an Obscure Reference award*.
*Zira: female chimp psychiatrist in ‘The Planet of the Apes.’
January 31st, 2013 at 4:32 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…spanked it.
January 31st, 2013 at 4:45 pm
…realized that no one remembered that monkeys ‘can’ be taught.
Abdallah the Chimp is on his way, right now , headed straight for the presidential palace and…..pop……bbbzzzzz……hhhmmm……….deadair
January 31st, 2013 at 5:48 pm
… heard these words: “Hussein, we’ve got a problem.”
January 31st, 2013 at 5:58 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…stood around and drooled having eliminated their I.Q.
January 31st, 2013 at 6:26 pm
After sending a monkey into space, Iran…, wait, is this why gas prices went up?
No MORE MONKEYS IN SPACE!!
January 31st, 2013 at 7:30 pm
@36 – Here’s your Obscury:
January 31st, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Sent the same monkey to infiltrate Washington DC where it interviewed to become Secretary of Defense.
February 1st, 2013 at 2:26 pm
…went ballistic over Israel.
February 1st, 2013 at 3:03 pm
…is about ready to tackle that indoor plumbing thing.
February 1st, 2013 at 4:55 pm
Made him president. (I mean, look at the guy!)
February 2nd, 2013 at 9:28 pm
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