Straight Line of the Day: After Sending a Monkey Into Space, Iran…

Posted on January 31, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After sending a monkey into space, Iran…

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47 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: After Sending a Monkey Into Space, Iran…”

  1. rodney dill says:

    …demanded that Israel give up all its claims to Jewpiter.

  2. srm000 says:

    …realized they actually sent a life sized shooting dummy of Obama because they saw his ears but couldn’t distinguish the rest of his bullet-covered body.

  3. rodney dill says:

    …claimed ownership of the solar system for Allah, and told the U.S. they could kiss Uranus goodbye.

  4. artvol11 says:

    …payed back Allah by sending a virgin to him.

  5. gsmtiger says:

    …watched calmly, and waited for Allah to strike down anything non-Iranian from the heavens.

  6. Dohtimes says:

    …lamented not having another Iranian smart enough to repeat their triumph.

    …ordered more Mentos and Coke.

    …tried to patent their gravity powered re-entry system (Monkey compatible spatula included!!!).

  7. Doug says:

    says it’s intentions are peaceful and not to worry about monkeys being dropped from space on New York.

  8. rodney dill says:

    …tried to claim all flyingspacemonkey related internet domains and merchandise.

  9. DamnCat says:

    …’s news service posted pictures Mahmoud Ahmadinejad entering the capsule in his space suit just before he was blasted into space.

  10. g says:

    … realized that they had just lost their only friend.

  11. jw says:

    …claimed mohammed wrote the flying monkey scene in the wizard of oz and demanded the death of L. Frank Baum

  12. Mrs. Campbell says:

    Bombed a marketplace in Tel Aviv.
    Bombed a bus in Jerusalem.
    Shot a rocket into homes in Golan.

  13. storm1911 says:

    …. and upon return, the Ayatollah claimed all of space for allah

    … and realized they had spent their entire brain trust into orbit

    … and thus the origins for Blip from Space Ghost

  14. DamnCat says:

    …celebrated their mastery of mid-20th century technology.

  15. Oppo says:

    … got a “like” on their home page from Obama. (Yes, I know, it should have been on their Facebook page, but, well, it’s Obama.)

  16. Oppo says:

    … chuckled Iranically, remembering Biden’s comments in his debate with Paul Ryan:

    VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: . . . they have to be able to have something to put it in. There is no weapon that the Iranians have at this point. Both the Israelis and we know we’ll know if they start the process of building a weapon. . . What — what more can the president do? Stand before the United Nations, tell the whole world, directly communicate to the ayatollah: We will not let them acquire a nuclear weapon, period, unless he’s talking about going to war.
    . . .
    …I was in a conference call with the — with the president, with him talking to Bibi, for well over an hour in — in — in — in — in stark relief and detail about what was going on. This is a bunch of stuff. Look, here’s the deal —
    MS. RADDATZ: What does that mean, “a bunch of stuff”?
    VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: Well, it means it’s simply inaccurate.
    REP. RYAN: It’s Irish. (Chuckles.)
    VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: It is. (Laughter.) We Irish call it malarkey.

  17. FredKey says:

    …facepalmed, realizing they’d just shot off their best scientist.

  18. James says:

    Realized that they should have sent a woman instead.

  19. Oppo says:

    .. said “I hate to say ayatollah so!”

  20. Oppo says:

    … wished they could get the monkey to ride the rocket back to the earth, like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove, yelling “Ji-HAWWWWD !!!!”

  21. Jimmy says:

    …Nasa realized their Muslim outreach program was working just fine.

  22. Dohtimes says:

    …called for the continuation of fatwa on monkey spankers.

    …tried to figure why the monkey didn’t explode and leave a radioactive mushroom cloud like the ACME company promised.

    …explained to Obama’s aide that no invitation to a monkey lunch had been offered.

  23. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …apologized, saying they thought they were sending a Jew into space.

  24. Dirk The Imapiler says:

    …passed it around to all the Iman’s to have sex with it (a nice change of pace from the regular goats they usually party with), and then eat it…

  25. spacemonkey says:

    @Rodney they’ll never get my email address. NEVAH!

  26. Steve H says:

    …gave the monkey the usual hero’s welcome – a private room with a goat and/or camel.

  27. Manolo says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…realized it was a female monkey and had it flogged for not wearing a burkha.

  28. Manolo says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…updated its MySpace page to tout its cutting edge space program.

  29. Manolo says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran… thanked Testors for the model rocket kit.

  30. Manolo says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…denied it was connected to the disappearance of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s girlfriend.

  31. rodney dill says:

    …was countered by the U.S. response, “So what, we put a jackass in the Whitehouse.”

  32. Manolo says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…announced plans to build a container that would protect an egg if dropped off the top of a two-story building.

  33. Apostic says:

    …announced the deployment of an orbital poo cannon.

  34. rodney dill says:

    said, “You’d be surprised what happens if you feed a monkey enough beans.”

  35. Manolo says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…was taken aback when they lifted it from the capsule and it shouted, “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”

  36. Oppo says:

    … immediately renamed the monkey “Al je-Zira,” in hopes of winning an Obscure Reference award*.

    *Zira: female chimp psychiatrist in ‘The Planet of the Apes.’

  37. cheeseball says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…spanked it.

  38. Uncle Kevvie, That's Who says:

    …realized that no one remembered that monkeys ‘can’ be taught.
    Abdallah the Chimp is on his way, right now , headed straight for the presidential palace and…..pop……bbbzzzzz……hhhmmm……….deadair

  39. Oppo says:

    … heard these words: “Hussein, we’ve got a problem.”

  40. plentyobailouts says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…stood around and drooled having eliminated their I.Q.

  41. Ray says:

    After sending a monkey into space, Iran…, wait, is this why gas prices went up?
    No MORE MONKEYS IN SPACE!!

  42. Harvey says:

    @36 – Here’s your Obscury:

  43. TedWade73 says:

    Sent the same monkey to infiltrate Washington DC where it interviewed to become Secretary of Defense.

  44. Dohtimes says:

    …went ballistic over Israel.

  45. Marc says:

    …is about ready to tackle that indoor plumbing thing.

  46. Sean says:

    Made him president. (I mean, look at the guy!)

  47. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “After sending a monkey into space, Iran…” […]

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