Straight Line of the Day: What Will Iran Do With All the Buddha Statues It Confiscated?

Posted on February 20, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

What will Iran do with all the Buddha statues it confiscated?

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41 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: What Will Iran Do With All the Buddha Statues It Confiscated?”

  1. Dohtimes says:

    First thing is to see if they might just be mislaid US federal workers by asking them to serve a useful function and timing how long it takes for a union thug to have a press conference.

  2. Vaktatunnen says:

    They’ll put their weed in there.

  3. Jimmy says:

    They’ll rub their Buddha bellies and then chop them off.

  4. blarg says:

    …pack them full of suicide bombers and leave them near the outskirts of infidels’ cities

  5. blarg says:

    …create distractions by destroying them publicly on TV and while the Western media is throwing fits over the outrage, they’ll quietlyl develop nukes and continue to maintain the status quo

  6. blarg says:

    …they will just let them be

  7. g says:

    … They will be saved for very special stonings.

  8. gsmtiger says:

    …They’ll use the as space capsules for their next missions.

  9. Dohtimes says:

    Let Tony Soprana take care of them, Buddha bing, Buddha Boom.

  10. Apostic says:

    Stage Michael Moore look alike contests.

  11. Dohtimes says:

    Double it’s chances to medal in the next Winter Olympics.

  12. Steve H says:

    With our luck, they’ll discover which one is the real Michael Moore and return him/her/it to the nearest U.S. embassy (too expensive to fly back to the States).

  13. Apostic says:

    Make some ginormous inscense burners for overseas sales. (“Yo, President Choom! We got something to dress up that new Oval Office.”)

  14. Oppo says:

    Reverse engineer them. Knowing how to make statuary could really put Iran on the map!

  15. Oppo says:

    Ship them all back to Buddhapest, where they probably came from.

  16. blarg says:

    …the mother of all “white elephant” parties.

  17. Apostic says:

    If their space program doesn’t work, they can use them to deliver nuclear warheads to their targets. Worked well for with Assyrian statues….

  18. HokieGomer says:

    Corner the Lawn Buddha market.

  19. Oppo says:

    Smash them to bits, pound the bits to powder, grind the powder to dust, mix the dust with sand, and make bread-and-Buddha sandwiches for the U.N. Human Rights Council.

  20. HokieGomer says:

    Drive them around Iran and take pictures of them in unique desolate places and hot women in burkas, then leave them on their owners doorstep a year later with all of those neat pictures.

  21. Dohtimes says:

    While there are absolutely no gays in Iran they will cover them with burqas so the fat ones will not tempt anybody with their bosoms until some effeminate but not gay suicide bombers can be rounded up to dispose of them.

  22. HokieGomer says:

    @ Oppo #19…

    Bread and Buddha sandwiches…BACON! ~~~~~

  23. HokieGomer says:

    Sell them to Obama as Arabian Skeet.

  24. Oppo says:

    You mean, after chopping their heads off? I mean, that’s a given, right?

  25. Marc says:

    glue on little beards and sell them as chubby Ahmadinejad bobble heads.

  26. Cliff says:

    They keep all of them in case they have to enter Nerdvana someday…..

  27. CCO says:

    I say give it to Oppo for #19, but perhaps I’m being too practical.

  28. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …”Buddha statues? What Buddha statues? Like homosexuals, Iran has no Buddha statues.”

  29. Jimmy says:

    Continuing on with Oppo’s Buddha food theme:

    Fish fried in Buddha.
    Buddha-milk pancakes.
    Chocolate cake with Buddha frosting.
    Everything tastes better with Buddha.
    You won’t believe it’s not Buddha.

  30. Apostic says:

    Re 29 Jimmy says:

    You won’t believe it’s not Buddha.


  31. blarg says:

    …keep one for when Biden visits – just show him to a room with the statue, introduce him as “the new Foreign Minister”….hillarity WILL ensue.

    …convert them to Islam using reason, logic, and lots and lots of violence.

  32. blarg says:

    …leave them in town squares with plaques that say “Gluttons will be turned to stone”

  33. CTCompromise says:

    …convince Kim Jung Un they are statues of him, and then ask to work together with him on their next “science project”.

  34. Oppo says:


  35. grandlarsene says:

    Force them to lose weight by not feeding them.

  36. CTCompromise says:

    Inprison them for 444 days…or until America puts a Republican back in the White House.

  37. JeffersonFan says:

    Make the ultimate stop motion animation version of the Harlem Shake.

  38. rodney dill says:

    …it’ll sell’em to some guy named Jake…

  39. Mrs. Campbell says:

    trade them to the US for missiles and other armaments.

    have the best decorated taxis in the middle east.

    blindfold them and record their beheddings for Al (gore) Jazera.

  40. Writer says:

    Trade them to North Korea for more missile technology.

  41. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “What will Iran do with all the Buddha statues it confiscated…” […]

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