Straight Line of the Day: According to the NATO Manual, the First Rule of Cyberwarfare…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
According to the NATO manual, the first rule of cyberwarfare…
Send to Kindle
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:05 pm
…is don’t shoot until you see the bytes of their eyes.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:07 pm
…is nobody talks about Cyberwarfare…
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…to be or not to be = FF
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:08 pm
no more than seven cybers in the magazine
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:08 pm
There are 10 kinds of Cyberwarriors… those that understand binary and those that don’t.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:09 pm
…no I will not fix your computer.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:09 pm
…on a clear disk you can seek forever.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:10 pm
…is that I can alway win by d8v79e%%%%%%% [signal lost]
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:11 pm
… is 0011110101100101011001.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:14 pm
… if you know Perl and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred hackers. If you know C++ but not Perl, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know only Visual Basic, you will succumb in every battle. – Sun Tzu (paraphrased)
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…no matter who wins you is gonna get Hz.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:16 pm
… is to crush your enemies, see their data fly before you, and hear the lamentations of their graphics co-processors.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:16 pm
@3.rodney dill says:
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Heh, “C” also:
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:18 pm
…when its over there’s only the quick and the BSOD
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:22 pm
The Skynet is the limit.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:23 pm
@Apostic – I was trying to ungeekify it, while still making it possible to undertand.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:29 pm
When they finally invent a fool proof system – somebody will invent a better fool.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…the idea is to Captcha the enemy.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:30 pm
… is “On my command, unleash 7734″
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:30 pm
…old programmers are like zombies… they just drop a few bits now and then.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:34 pm
… all depends on whether the Greeks and Turks are playing nice with each other these days, whom we might offend, and what France, who is not an official member but often tags along, is demanding for their cooperation. This *is* NATO, after all.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:36 pm
…fix Bayonettas!
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:36 pm
To eliminate confusion try to avoid scheduling surprise attacks on Halloween or Christmas, as 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:38 pm
…is to refer to the manual as a Personual.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:38 pm
Always try 1 2 3 4 5 first!
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:39 pm
Don’t be a dick.
First choice of loot goes to the Commanding Officer.
Remember, drones are only allowed on PVP servers.
ASL?
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:39 pm
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:41 pm
…acne is a perfectly good camouflage, especially if one is clad in underwear.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:42 pm
Cyberattacks are like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:44 pm
…your mom’s basement is not an undisclosed bunker location.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:46 pm
… once you go Mac, you can’t go back.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:47 pm
…type carefully I. M. A. O. then dot us
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:48 pm
… for US folks, make sure your orders come from whitehouse.gov, not whitehouse.com
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:49 pm
…did you try restarting?
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:49 pm
….Pron is still your friend but not during working hours.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:49 pm
…Ohms is futile.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:51 pm
…the attack will commence as soon as I find the ‘ANY’ key.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Molon Labe.
(Come and pwn them.)
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:52 pm
… is that MREs will consist of a bag of Skittles and a can of Mountain Dew.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:55 pm
.. is that despite the fact that hacking Internet Explorer lacks skill and elegance, it still makes tactical sense.
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:55 pm
“im in ur cpu killin ur pr0cs”
March 22nd, 2013 at 12:57 pm
… is ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:03 pm
RTFM
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:03 pm
secrecy… remember cylons is golden.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:03 pm
… is that “battlefield trophies”, such as the enemy’s porn collection or music library, are allowed. But only if your CO gets a copy.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:13 pm
… NO POOFTAHS! (Oh wait, we did away with that one…)
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 pm
… is so-called “chat speak” is forbidden. All taunts must be in both English and French, in triplicate, and a copy filed with your company clerk.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:36 pm
…is never get involved in a cyberwar in Asia.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:49 pm
No touch backs
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:51 pm
…Trouble contacting the Pentagon? Check for AOL alerts or high traffic at HuffPo.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:52 pm
@BillyDee #48 – Inconceivable!
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:52 pm
… is called the Optimus Prime Directive.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:54 pm
… is that manuals are OK, but not automatics.
March 22nd, 2013 at 1:59 pm
…is to make sure the the number of lids matches the number of containers, although I don’t understand why NATO cares about fighting with reusable food storage containers.
…is to make sure you don’t get the Cybers mixed up with the carebears, or the pooh bears when going to war
…is to make sure each counter-cyberwarfare programmer uploads his/her most recent photo of themselves wearing their cute light blue helmet
…make sure that the programmers have taken the red pill, not the blue one
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:08 pm
…take the blue pill.
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:09 pm
…we must get everything on the internet as quickly as possible (General Al Gore)
…any security can be broken during a 3 minute hacking montage with techno music, an array of monitors, and a beer.
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:10 pm
install a real firewall and turn the one off that comes with windows XP
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:21 pm
…is to install the toolbar by default
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:35 pm
aaaaaaa oo eeeee oooo aaahaahhh zzzzzzzaaaaaa
@9 Can o spam ” is 0011110101100101011001.”
I can’t believe Frank is letting you get away with that language.
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:43 pm
↑↑↓↓←→←→BA
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:49 pm
…is you do not talk about cyberwarfare, and Thursdays we all get together to watch The Big Bang Theory and hold our Jim Parsons Fan Club meeting.
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:53 pm
@59 — #45 got a moderation time-out, but I got away with #9.
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:56 pm
…in cyberspace EVERYBODY can hear scream. And lots of other stuff, and we can see you almost all the time and Rodney Dill and Basil need to take the tape off of their web cams.
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:57 pm
… is to not bring dial-up to a 4G fight.
… is to never leave a cyberman behind.
… is to be the first to get reboots on the ground.
March 22nd, 2013 at 2:58 pm
…is Run! (according to Dr. Who)
March 22nd, 2013 at 3:10 pm
… is never to confuse “D-cell” and “gasoline.”
… is to remember that there are no atheists in Firefox holes.
… is to remember that a “hack attack” means something different to those cultures that have not yet advanced into the computer age.
March 22nd, 2013 at 3:21 pm
“never go in against a Sicilian when a Blue Screen of Death is on the line!”
March 22nd, 2013 at 3:26 pm
…make sure your computer is plugged in.
March 22nd, 2013 at 3:39 pm
…is PEBKAC
(Problem exists between keyboard and chair)
March 22nd, 2013 at 4:15 pm
I love the smell of binary in the morning!
March 22nd, 2013 at 5:29 pm
…the war isn’t over until the Great Landlord sings your praises.
…praise the Lord and pass the nacho cheese.
…the hardest thing to do in this war is win a Purple Heart, John Kerry won six of them yesterday.
March 22nd, 2013 at 6:08 pm
… is to cry “havoc” and let slip the DOS of war.
… is to remember that it wasn’t over when the “not-C”s bombed Pearl Harbor.
… is to remember that it’s no longer an arms race, it’s a finger race.
… is to remember: what is it good for? Absolute Linuxin’.
March 22nd, 2013 at 6:14 pm
…is don’t blog about cyberwarfare.
March 22nd, 2013 at 7:29 pm
ALL CAPS YOU GUYS!!!!!!
March 22nd, 2013 at 9:13 pm
… is to Spell it.
March 22nd, 2013 at 9:15 pm
…is Machine Code!
(and that dates this old Techie)
March 22nd, 2013 at 9:35 pm
… is taking control of Weapons Systems count double points.,
March 22nd, 2013 at 10:46 pm
If it has waterspots on it you can just wipe it off. If it has bits of food on it send it back because that’s unsanitary and gross. Oh wait. What? Oh. I thought you said rules of silverware. Sorry.
March 23rd, 2013 at 12:04 am
…is to delete all cookies and temporary internet files
March 23rd, 2013 at 1:51 am
Straight Line of the Day: According to the NATO Manual,
1: The First Rule of Cyberwarfare, is nobody talks about Cyberwarfare.
2: The Second Rule of Cyberwarfare, is see rule #1.
March 23rd, 2013 at 2:01 am
…*DON’T PANIC!*
March 23rd, 2013 at 11:53 am
…is to get the opposing computer to play tic-tac-toe against it’s self
March 25th, 2013 at 11:41 pm
[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “According to the NATO manual, the first rule of cyber warfare…” [...]