Straight Line of the Day: According to the NATO Manual, the First Rule of Cyberwarfare…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

According to the NATO manual, the first rule of cyberwarfare…

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83 Comments

  1. … if you know Perl and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred hackers. If you know C++ but not Perl, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know only Visual Basic, you will succumb in every battle. – Sun Tzu (paraphrased)

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  2. … all depends on whether the Greeks and Turks are playing nice with each other these days, whom we might offend, and what France, who is not an official member but often tags along, is demanding for their cooperation. This *is* NATO, after all.

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  3. …is to make sure the the number of lids matches the number of containers, although I don’t understand why NATO cares about fighting with reusable food storage containers.

    …is to make sure you don’t get the Cybers mixed up with the carebears, or the pooh bears when going to war

    …is to make sure each counter-cyberwarfare programmer uploads his/her most recent photo of themselves wearing their cute light blue helmet

    …make sure that the programmers have taken the red pill, not the blue one

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  4. …we must get everything on the internet as quickly as possible (General Al Gore)

    …any security can be broken during a 3 minute hacking montage with techno music, an array of monitors, and a beer.

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  5. …in cyberspace EVERYBODY can hear scream. And lots of other stuff, and we can see you almost all the time and Rodney Dill and Basil need to take the tape off of their web cams.

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  6. … is never to confuse “D-cell” and “gasoline.”

    … is to remember that there are no atheists in Firefox holes.

    … is to remember that a “hack attack” means something different to those cultures that have not yet advanced into the computer age.

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  7. …the war isn’t over until the Great Landlord sings your praises.

    …praise the Lord and pass the nacho cheese.

    …the hardest thing to do in this war is win a Purple Heart, John Kerry won six of them yesterday.

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  8. … is to cry “havoc” and let slip the DOS of war.

    … is to remember that it wasn’t over when the “not-C”s bombed Pearl Harbor.

    … is to remember that it’s no longer an arms race, it’s a finger race.

    … is to remember: what is it good for? Absolute Linuxin’.

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  9. If it has waterspots on it you can just wipe it off. If it has bits of food on it send it back because that’s unsanitary and gross. Oh wait. What? Oh. I thought you said rules of silverware. Sorry.

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  10. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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