Straight Line of the Day: According to the NATO Manual, the First Rule of Cyberwarfare…

Posted on March 22, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

According to the NATO manual, the first rule of cyberwarfare…

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83 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: According to the NATO Manual, the First Rule of Cyberwarfare…”

  1. rodney dill says:

    @BillyDee #48 – Inconceivable!

  2. Oppo says:

    … is called the Optimus Prime Directive.

  3. Oppo says:

    … is that manuals are OK, but not automatics.

  4. a guy named Rob says:

    …is to make sure the the number of lids matches the number of containers, although I don’t understand why NATO cares about fighting with reusable food storage containers.

    …is to make sure you don’t get the Cybers mixed up with the carebears, or the pooh bears when going to war

    …is to make sure each counter-cyberwarfare programmer uploads his/her most recent photo of themselves wearing their cute light blue helmet

    …make sure that the programmers have taken the red pill, not the blue one

  5. rodney dill says:

    …take the blue pill.

  6. blarg says:

    …we must get everything on the internet as quickly as possible (General Al Gore)

    …any security can be broken during a 3 minute hacking montage with techno music, an array of monitors, and a beer.

  7. Tau Dades says:

    install a real firewall and turn the one off that comes with windows XP

  8. c64wood says:

    …is to install the toolbar by default

  9. plentyobailouts says:

    aaaaaaa oo eeeee oooo aaahaahhh zzzzzzzaaaaaa

    @9 Can o spam ” is 0011110101100101011001.”
    I can’t believe Frank is letting you get away with that language.

  10. Ironic Stompin' says:

    ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA

  11. Dohtimes says:

    …is you do not talk about cyberwarfare, and Thursdays we all get together to watch The Big Bang Theory and hold our Jim Parsons Fan Club meeting.

  12. can of spam says:

    @59 — #45 got a moderation time-out, but I got away with #9.

  13. Dohtimes says:

    …in cyberspace EVERYBODY can hear scream. And lots of other stuff, and we can see you almost all the time and Rodney Dill and Basil need to take the tape off of their web cams.

  14. Oppo says:

    … is to not bring dial-up to a 4G fight.

    … is to never leave a cyberman behind.

    … is to be the first to get reboots on the ground.

  15. Bob B says:

    …is Run! (according to Dr. Who)

  16. Oppo says:

    … is never to confuse “D-cell” and “gasoline.”

    … is to remember that there are no atheists in Firefox holes.

    … is to remember that a “hack attack” means something different to those cultures that have not yet advanced into the computer age.

  17. Harvey says:

    “never go in against a Sicilian when a Blue Screen of Death is on the line!”

  18. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …make sure your computer is plugged in.

  19. FormerHostage says:

    …is PEBKAC
    (Problem exists between keyboard and chair)

  20. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    I love the smell of binary in the morning!

  21. Dohtimes says:

    …the war isn’t over until the Great Landlord sings your praises.

    …praise the Lord and pass the nacho cheese.

    …the hardest thing to do in this war is win a Purple Heart, John Kerry won six of them yesterday.

  22. Oppo says:

    … is to cry “havoc” and let slip the DOS of war.

    … is to remember that it wasn’t over when the “not-C”s bombed Pearl Harbor.

    … is to remember that it’s no longer an arms race, it’s a finger race.

    … is to remember: what is it good for? Absolute Linuxin’.

  23. DamnCat says:

    …is don’t blog about cyberwarfare.

  24. frogmouth says:

    ALL CAPS YOU GUYS!!!!!!

  25. Writer says:

    … is to Spell it.

  26. Writer says:

    …is Machine Code!
    (and that dates this old Techie)

  27. Writer says:

    … is taking control of Weapons Systems count double points.,

  28. Jeffersonian says:

    If it has waterspots on it you can just wipe it off. If it has bits of food on it send it back because that’s unsanitary and gross. Oh wait. What? Oh. I thought you said rules of silverware. Sorry.

  29. Cliff says:

    …is to delete all cookies and temporary internet files

  30. RAML says:

    Straight Line of the Day: According to the NATO Manual,

    1: The First Rule of Cyberwarfare, is nobody talks about Cyberwarfare.

    2: The Second Rule of Cyberwarfare, is see rule #1.

  31. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …*DON’T PANIC!*

  32. a guy named Rob says:

    …is to get the opposing computer to play tic-tac-toe against it’s self

  33. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “According to the NATO manual, the first rule of cyber warfare…” […]

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