Obama came up with something resembling an apology for those losing their health care.

“I am sorry that [people who’ve lost their insurance] are finding themselves in this situation based on assurances they got from me.”

I guess that’s an apology — but he kind of acts like he’s a bystander to this and not someone who repeatedly lied to sell his crappy product.

But it took a while for him to come up with even that. Here are the rejected apologies.

REJECTED OBAMA APOLOGIES

“I’m sorry you can’t understand how I’m helping you.”

“I’m sorry your individual fates are so beneath my concern.”

“I’m sorry you can’t understand how the more expensive health care I forced you into is so much better.”

“I’m sorry you’re one of those grammar nazis who had this strict interpretation of what the words ‘If you like your plan, you can keep it. Period’ means.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be president of a country that would appreciate me more, like one of those fancy European ones.”

“I’m sorry this got to the point that my staff says I need to come up with an apology.”

“I’m sorry my awesomeness is so blinding and overwhelming that it confuses you.”

“I’m sorry the media didn’t continue to keep you from hearing about all this.”

“I’m sorry I can’t just drone strike you.”

“I’m sorry that I’m not sorry. At all.”