It has not been a good day for me so far. First, I went out to steal the neighbor’s newspaper as I do every morning, but I had to run back inside when I got shot at by terrorists. Ends up the whole country is overrun with them because the Democrats turned the emergency war funds bill into nothing but pork, leaving national defense to spinach and sugar beets — who frankly aren’t up to the task.
Now the terrorists were clawing at my door. Afraid that one would eventually figure out how to use the doorknob, I called the police. Ends up, though, the police didn’t have the funds to come help me. The whole economy has been depressed since Rosie O’Donnell got all the steel mills shut down by calling them liars and claiming they don’t actually do anything in them since fire can’t melt steel.
Well, I was frustrated. I decided I’d try and relax by having a nice bubble bath with my rubber ducky… but my rubber ducky was nowhere to be found! Ahmadinejad had taken him claiming he had wandered into Iranian waters.
I hope Fred Thompson comes and saves us soon.
Rosie says fire can’t melt steel? She should tell that to the blacksmith who made her shoes.
I am sure you can find some Jooos to protect you. 🙂
Frank, why did you not call Marines for the terrorists? We can put you on our gold program. You can get airline miles, points, or ammo.
Sorry Pete,
Jackasses don’t wear shoes. However, Wilderness Outfitter does sell dog shoes…
Frnak, with as many Guns as you own, why were you intimidated by Terrorists? were you out of ammo?
’cause if you were, I’ll send you some. What flavor you need?
I’ll send some 9mm for Mr. Shiny, too. Just so’s SarahK don’t feel left out.
oh and: MORE PODCASTS! please? RARR!
Had to read closer. Thought you were bathing with Ducky.
Ok, fire melting steel. Wow. I’ve never been so wowed with her understanding of physics.
Anyway, why did they keep mentioning Harvard and Yale for getting physics/engineering guys to come over? I’d shoot for something a little more known more for their engineering schools than anything else – say MIT. (Not dissing Harvard and Yale engineering, but how often in the general public do you hear people talk about Yale or Harvard for engineering vs. MIT?)
Why don’t we just put Rosie in a burning skyscraper and see what happens?
Nah, if it collapsed the moonbats would claim it was from Rosie jumping around when the floor got too hot…
Better idea:
Send Rosie on a diplomatic mission to the planet Alderaan. If we’re lucky Darth Vader and the death star will be operational by then. Then again who knows, maybe she and the emperor will get jiggy and the universe as we know it will implode out of sheer repulsion.
anyone listen close enough to that video where she talks about the jimmy carter ‘error’ instead of ‘era’?
hehe… the truth will come out… even of a moronic windbag’s gullet
Frank, Frank, Frank…whenever terrorists appear on your front lawn, just shoot back. Killing a couple dozen terrorists is bound to improve your day. It may not be so plesent cleaning up the mess, but hey…
OK, so if fire can’t melt steel, what caused the WTC to collapse? Explosives? Impossible!
I did an experiment where I tossed some firecrackers in a metal garbage can, and guess what? It didn’t collapse!
That disproves the explosives theory!
um that fire wasn’t hot enough to melt steel but it loses 50% of its strength at that temperature. so i’m kinda guessing that would mean the wtc would fall. BIG details here.
hooray materials science.
So you and RightWingDuck are taking “bubble baths” together now? Hmmm! Who’s the mama and who’s the papa?
Uh Frank,
See, the deal with Rosie is that she’s an unstoppable bullshit spouting cyborg. Like Arnold Schwarzenneger, only she shoots bullshit instead of bullets at everything in sight. And cyborgs are steel inside. Arney came out of that fire with all the flesh burned off of his chrome plated stainless steel endoskeleton, and kept going. The only way to kill a cyborg is to lure it into a steel mill, where they melt steel with fire.
Now about that stolen newspaper. I’m the paperboy, and I’m pissed. Your neighbor had better be Rosie, ’cause somebody’s gonna pay. I’m sick of being blamed for stolen newspaper complaints. If I get one more complaint that somebody didn’t get their newspaper, the next one comes through the window, right behind a molotov cocktail. Then we’ll find out how much fire it takes to melt steel.