Fred Thompson doesn’t believe in myths such as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and extraterrestrials — and he knows their existence is myths since he killed them all with his bare hands. Also, he knows for a fact that Elvis is dead since he strangled him in a shopping mall in 1987.
That was at the Orange Julius in Schenectady, wasn’t it?
Hmmm, Fred Thompson seems to be a very violent man. I don’t know if I can vote for someone that committed several acts of genocide.
Now that’s just silly. Everyone knows that Elvis fell victim to the Rumsfeld Strangler in 1987.
Excellent! I have picked my candidate and Mr. Fred Thompson is he! Anyone that doesn’t vote for Mr. Fred Thompson in the next election should be strangled…or invited “down” to Barney Frank’s place for the weekend…
I hope he got that damned Sasquatch while he was at it!
Sure you saw that right? I thought Fred and Elvis were kicking Moore’s butt in that mall!
http://www.vote4fredthompson.com
What is little known, is that he didn’t strangle Elvis with his hands.
It was done Darth Vader style – with the power of his mind (via his death glare of course).
Naturally, it was punishment for not taking out Michael Jackson when he got near Lisa Marie.
Bad Elvis.