No one likes President Bush anymore, and it seems to be popular for conservatives to criticize him. So here I go:
FRANK CRITICISMS OF PRESIDENT BUSH
* He’s getting a little fat.
* His last name is too easily used for sexual innuendo.
* I’m betting he’s secretly a Mexican.
* While spending $400 on a haircut is excessive, it’s okay to spend more than $4.
* Why is Hugo Chavez still alive? Is President Bush too big of a sissy to assassinate foreign leaders?
* Those Scotty dogs he has look ridiculous.
* His front lawn could use better maintenance.
What don’t you like about President Bush?
AND…his beer sucks! The baked beans aren’t too bad, though…
6+ years in office, and has not used even 1 nukular weapon.
I don’t like Bush because he and his goose-steppers denied the FOIA request submitted by all-wise Mother Sheehan where she wanted to expose Bush’s Weather Controller bases on the Moon and Mars and how Bush was responsible for all the tornados in Democrat-majority states.
That, and how he sics Darth Cheney’s Tri-Lateralist Commando Strike Forces on New Orleans to spite Ray Nagin.
Bush really gets my malodorous, scruffy, stoned-out goat, maaaaaaan!
Scotty dogs are fine, though a man’s household should also include some proper-sized dogs.
He never accepted my numerous challenges to meet me on the field of honor.
He never hired a single blind Samurai during his stint in office. Seriously, WTF?
And when he fought off those Ninjas back in ’04? Geez, talk about weak Kung Fu…
He never apologized for being white.
He doesn’t have a big enough carbon footprint.
We’re still a member of the UN.
Not enough maniacal laughter after speeches.
Social security isn’t a means by which the government arms its citizens.
Bush doesn’t look like the X-Box gamer type or like he’d dress up like Luke Skywalker at a Star Wars movie premier.
I suppose you mean besides being a Rino…
He dresses right, but only after adjusting.
Four words: No Child Left Behind.
No child allowed too far out in front, either.
Press 1 for English.
Somehow, he reminds me of Peggy Hill. He has all these good intentions about how to fix things but he screws them up by ignoring the obvious solutions.
I still like him. I just wish he’d carried a bigger stick on occasion.
Somehow, he reminds me of Peggy Hill. He has all these good intentions about how to fix things but he screws them up by ignoring the obvious solutions.
I still like him. I just wish he’d carried a bigger stick on occasion.
I sent his campaign like a million millicents and he didn’t once ask me to stay over in the Lincoln bedroom.
He always lets that monster Helen Thomas ask questions during White House press conferences, when he should either ignore her completely, or tell her to go to hell.
Harriet Myers
Failure to bomb France.
And for the commentor Kross, according to the left Bush does have a “proper-size” dog. They call him Tony Blair.
He didn’t ban the song “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow” by Fleetwood Mac…or any other song by Fleetwood Mac.
He didn’t appoint Ann Coulter, Secretary of Defense.
He hasn’t used the IRS to his advantage.
Stuck the word compassionate in front of conservative.
I too still like the president. I am however surprised that he is so very out of step with the rank and file members of his own party on the whole “United States of Mexico” debacle.
I don’t know who’s feeding him info but they ought to be deprogrammed and sent to Central America as a member of a trade commission. I wonder how much we could get for someone that out of touch?
Do you think it would be an even trade or would we have to give a two-fer, maybe Jimma Carter?
He found Al Gore’s lock box.
He hasn’t called Nancy Pelosi a nappy-headed ho.
He hasn’t fixed that one fatal flaw in the Death Star.
He keeps on saying, “And one ring rules them all.”
He never finished his documentary on Michael Moore, titled Fahrenheit 7-11.
He hasn’t yet puked on a head of state like his father before him. However, he has far surpassed his dad on his ability to sh*t on his constituents.
Squandered the opportunity to use my super-awesome illegal immigration campaign slogan, “Read my lips. No. New. Texans.”
Still hasn’t realized that no matter how hard he squints at reporters while answering questions, he’ll never be able to manifest a Death Glare. That is Fred Thompson’s and Fred Thompson’s alone.
Seven years in and he’s yet to appoint a Secretary of Slavery.
Can’t even conquer a pipsqueek country like Iraq. Don’t even get me started on Afghanistan.
As hard as he’s tried and as much as he’s squandered on his campaign contributors he still hasn’t managed to completely destroy the US government. It’s not going to drown itself in the toilet ya know.
Seven years in and he’s yet to appoint a Secretary of Slavery.
Can’t even conquer a pipsqueek country like Iraq. Don’t even get me started on Afghanistan.
As hard as he’s tried and as much as he’s squandered on his campaign contributors he still hasn’t managed to completely destroy the US government. It’s not going to drown itself in the toilet ya know.
He doesn’t listen to me anymore.
He lost my copy of Jackass II on Air Force One while heading to the G8 conference.
He’s too duh-anged compassionate! I want to see some truly Spartan behavior; I mean, that’s what I voted him into office.
Helping those people in Africa? Great! How about showing a little violence toward the despotic dictators who make the benevolence moot? I wanna see some dictator blood spillin’!
No mustache. Seriously, it’s been years, and a mustache could one make for some badass diplomacy. Here is a rendering…
Bush: Hey, Iran. Check this out.
Iran: Whoa. Bushy.
Bush: Totally. I’m like an adjective.
Iran: So…this whole cowboy thing…you’re into it?
Bush: 100% AmericaRock’N’Roll. Mess with me? I’ll give you a mustache ride to the 6th century.
Iran: (Gasp) THE AGE OF IGNORANCE!?
C’mon, we had the seventies, and all American president’s could muster was Jimmy Carter’s sort of shag and halfway sideburns. Of course he took too much after Woodrow, sycophant of the clean-shaven world government. TR, Lincoln, the Arthur mustache/chops combo? (Let’s just agree to ignore Taft for the moment, unless Frank’s fat complaint spirals out of control).
Mustache, dude…mustache.
Apparently, I’m a racist. A compassionate racist.
I’m beginig to think I’M the rino here. The rest of these clowns really are what the party’s all about and I got shnookerd.
No gas rationing.
Iran not concave.
He’s cut prime numbers by 67%. In the Clinton years we had 1993, 1997 and 1999. Bush has only given us 2003. (2007 would have been prime, but Cheney stole it and replaced it with a number divisible by 3.)
Those nasty damn socks.
He has let punk ass countries like Iran and N Korea make us look bad…not acceptable!
He isn’t going to reappoint Peter Pace because he might hurt some people’s feelings…nuff said…
Harriet Meirs, Dubai Ports, Katrina Response, Alberto, Immigration, Spending, Walter Reed, Never ending war, Nation Building, No Tax Reform, Democratic Take Over of Congress, 3.50 gas, conservatives hate brown people…
Other than him skipping out on helping me and Bob pull the tranny from the ’78 T/A, I got nothin’.
I really liked it when Georgey tried to get the leaders of Latvia, Estonia, & Lithuania to shake hands with the KGB killer thug, poot-butt Putin, for many great years of tyranny & slaughter of their people by the Soviets occupation during & after WWII, at the 60 year celebration of the end of WWII in 2005 in Europe. Georgey must’ve been drunk or asleep during that history lesson in high school.
Scotty dogs are fine, though a man’s household should also include some proper-sized dogs.
Get the right kind of proper-sized dogs, and it’ll take care of your Scotty problem in short order. I suggest a 120 lb Chow. Or a pit bull. Either way, it’ll take care of your “shit-dog” infestation.
Too much restraint: He keeps jerking the choke collar of Carl “You magnificent, evil bastard” Rove instead of unleashing him upon the filthy, smelly, hippie scum squatting on the white house lawn.
“Sic’em Boy, Git’em! “
Hey now, GW might have gone after Putin if he had a Village People moustache like Saddam!
Just think about it..
I don’t like that he is not Fred Thompson.
I can’t believe everyone’s forgotten this one!
He hasn’t nuked the Moon.
He doesn’t need a proper size dog. Until last year, he had a pet Fox.
He didn’t finish the job of choking on the pretzel…