|
There’s the long discredited theory of spontaneous generation — that a pile of garbage actually creates flies — but I’m tempted to revisit it in the case of posts about Ron Paul (see here and here). With how Ron Paul posts causes crazed comments to appear from no traceable source proclaiming that Ron Paul is the “last hope for America,” the simplest theory is that Ron Paul posts spontaneously generate crazy people.
Another possibility is that Ron Paul supporters spend all day scanning all blogs looking for a chance to spew their thoughts of Ron Paul greatness that builds up inside them until they feel like they’re about to burst. This is not to say they think of nothing but Ron Paul; by their comments they also care about how the government caused 9/11 (though I thought Ron Paul said we made the terrorists attack us… which doesn’t make any sense if we attacked ourselves) and the problem of the Jews and minorities.
The last most disturbing explanation of how apoplectic Ron Paul supporters seem to appear out of nowhere is that they are amongst us as we speak. Right next to you could be a Ron Paul supporter just waiting to be awoken like a sleeper agent. If this is true, your best bet is to try and lure them out. Every so often say, “Ron Paul is a nutter,” and, if anyone around you says anything other than “Yes” or “Who’s Ron Paul?”, kill him and burn his body.
I’ll end this dire warning with a fun exercise. Let’s all try to come up with effusive praise of Ron Paul that matches statements of him being the last hope for America. Here’s my attempt:
“Ron Paul is the only man who can get the international hot dog eating title back from the foreigners.”
Try your own in the comments.
Ron Paul is the only candidate that can cleanse our bodies of Thetans. Damn you Xenu and your entire Galactic Federation – Ron Paul will pwn you!!
Ron Paul is the only man who can help Paris Hilton sober up.
Ron Paul is the only man who can stuff 10 punds of crazy into a 5-pound sack.
Ron Paul is the only man on this planet that can neutralize the crabs living within the loins of Jane Fonda.
Ron Paul gives us folks with two first names the street cred we deserve. Those with three first names can suck the lolly. I’m looking at you Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
I wholeheartedlt concur with Mr. Jeremy Ron and would like to give him a free membership to my E-Harmony dot com thingy. He could use help scoring.
I looooooovvve Ron Paul, if you understand my overtly ghey winking and Tootsie Pop licking implications.
Ron Paul is the only man who can:
Put us on the Rolled Gold standard, tying the value of our currency to pretzels will cure all of the economic woes we’ve been facing during the worst economy since Hoover’s (and that one sucked).
You know, this is harder than I thought. I typed out a few more but then I realized, I’d already seen the exact same arguments from Ron Paul supporter(s).
Ron Paul is the last hope for ridding us of the two foreign states – Hawaii and Alaska. (They aren’t attached to the rest of the country, are they?)
THE CONSTITUTION DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ALLOWING NONCONTIGUOUS STATES!!!
Only Ron Paul can drive the Goa’uld to give up their hosts.
Ron Paul is the only man who can bring about world peace by uniting pro-Nazis and anti-Nazis.
(as illustrated in the 9/11 post comments)
Ron Paul is the only man who can make Rosie and The Donald realize their love for each other.
Ron Paul is the only man who can make a tin-foil hat look stylish.
Only Ron Paul can boil an egg at high altitudes.
Ron Paul is the only man who can bring about world peace by uniting pro-Nazis and anti-Nazis.
I’m gonna have to disagree on that one. Blair’s Law predates the Ron Paul phenomenon.
Ron Paul is the only man who takes “Nuclear Terrorism” as seriously as Jack Bauer.
Ron Paul’s the only man whos ever been Stephane Dion’s woman.
Now that John and George are dead, the only musical hope baby boomers have left is Ron Paul. Please don’t take it away from them.
Ron Paul is the only man who can make Ross Perot look sane as well as intelligent.
Ron Paul is the only man with followers nuttier than L.Ron Hubbard.
Ron Paul is the only known love child of Lyndon LaRouche and David Duke.
Ron Paul is the last hope for knowing how many licks it really takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop without biting.
Ru Paul is the only man, er, person who can really unite the left-righties with the left-lefties. Imagine the power of a ticket with Ru Paul/Rosie. We would finally regain the respect of the UN, and Prez Ahmadinejad, etc.
Ron Paul is the only man who can make Dennis Kucinich look like a viable candidate
Miss gold coins? Vote Ron Paul!
Ron Paul would be the second-greatest President with the first name of Ronald. If his first name were Millard, he’d be the second-greatest President with that first name, too.
Paul puts the “ron” in moron.
Rick stole mine! Great mind think alike. LOL
“minds” 2pts for spelling
Ron Paul is the only man who can make Ralph Nader look like a viable candidate.
Ron Paul is the only man who can disentangle us from our messy alliance with the Atreides and allow the Harkonnen to resume their rightful spice trade! We must remove ourselves from foreign affairs!
“Ron Paul is the only man who can make Ross Perot look sane as well as intelligent.”
sorry, but the kos kids do that every day. multiple times…
Take a look at this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kibo
Money quote:
“He became known on Usenet for grepping all occurrences of the term “Kibo”–whether intended to refer to Kibo himself or not–and replying, often in a fanciful manner.”
Ron Paul is Kibo!
Ron Paul is the only candidate willing to paint your roof.
Noooooo! Ron Paul stoled mah bukket!
Ron Paul is the only person able to understand what sarcasm man is saying
Luminos, don’t get carried away. Not even Sarcasm Man can understand what Sarcasm Man is saying.
Ron Paul is the only man who will not only legalize pot, but make smoking it manditory!
Oh yes, it must make your day to find that his supporters and him disagree on who did and caused 9/11. As if you agree 100% with your supported candidate, as if you’d rather Ron Paul agree with a neo-Nazi scumbag on Jews.
Ron Paul may or may not be the last hope for America, obviously depending on what you consider hope! If you want more wars for Israel, Ron Paul is your worst enemy (and we both know that).
ask yourself this question :
If one said “it’s our lack of values from atheist liberals that made a political leader get a blowjob from an intern”
is that THAT different than saying “our political leader IS the atheist amoral liberal who got a blowjob”?
Saying that for 9/11 whether our policy inspired terrorists, or our government knew of the attack or our government did it (involvement to what degree, how many people in our government debatable) have slight differences, but surely ALL agree the official story and the ‘never blame America’ attitude is wrong.
Would you EVER consider the possibility your government can hurt you, lie to you, expose you to danger, or exploit the danger to their own good against you? If not, there’s nothing to tell you, because you’ll always be the pawn (but hey, in this democracy, we’re in it together).
[Come on, guys! Drink the Kool-Aid! It’s tasty! -Ed.]
Now that’s some good crazy.
disagree on who did and caused 9/11.
I’m not so sure that his supporters do disagree with him on that.
I really like this next juxtaposition
as if you’d rather Ron Paul agree with a neo-Nazi scumbag on Jews. followed by this If you want more wars for Israel
Ron Paul, the first man to actually make use of Blair’s Law.
Ron Paul is the only man Josh has kissed who isn’t a skinhead.
(unless that’s a really bad toupee….)
Veeshir – you didn’t even read this blog post did you?
This is not to say they think of nothing but Ron Paul; by their comments they also care about how the government caused 9/11 (though I thought Ron Paul said we made the terrorists attack us… which doesn’t make any sense if we attacked ourselves)
I don’t know what’s wrong with asking whether you’d rather supporters agree completely on everything or not. What do you have to say about ‘war for Israel’? Is it a false accusation? or something noble to defend?
Let me try to debunk this idiot, not because I think he can be reasoned with, but because I want some practice with debunking.
Josh: If what you mean is nothing more than that too much government can cause problems, then I fail to understand why you seek a quarrel. Everyone on this site agrees. However, it seems that what your really saying is that there is some sort of vast conspiracy be select Americans to enslave all the other Americans (discounting the DNRC, of course).
I’ll start by granting the premise (thanks for that, Bill Whittle). Let’s say that the conspiracy to repress freedom is so vast that all 10 of the republican candidates that aren’t Ron Paul are in on it. But if 10 republican candidates, with diverse platform positions and varying identities are all in on it, isn’t it easy to conclude that Ron Paul is also part of this conspiracy?
So we must all conclude that ron paul will certainly eat our brains if he is elected.
I feel a haiku coming on….
Josh the lunatic
A neo-Nazi truther
Ron Paul’s bastard son
What’s wrong with being a skinhead? You heard skinheads kill anybody the past 5 years?
Zionist kikes killed hundreds of Palestinians. American soldiers killed thousands of innocent Iraqis. Islamofascists killed more civilians, but you get a kick out of pointing out ‘skinhead’.
If by conspiracy you mean working together, YES, most candidates of both parties work together on enslaving us. If by conspiracy you mean secrecy, than no, they’re open and proud of expanding government. Which you can’t deny, you can say expansion of government isn’t bad, and I can respect that, but to deny all candidates except Ron Paul support expansion of government, please elaborate!
How diverse is the republican candidate platform? Let’s see, who didn’t vote for the Patriot Act? Who didn’t support the War? Who’s for pulling out now? Who’s never voted for reducing taxes? Who’s consistently stood against abortion? The answer is obvious, all other Republican candidates either agree with each other or flip-flop on the issues. Call that diversity? Fine!
Damn, no Nazis or communists in the Republican field. If only there was more than one political party in the United States….
Is Ron Paul part of the conspiracy? Could he just be a man who’s lying this whole time in 30 years just to become President and enslave us in the end? I’LL TAKE THAT RISK.
It’s not that I’ve not been lied to by candidates, and I respect those who say they’d rather have people honestly talk about enslaving us than to lie about it, or people who like to be enslaved. But to deny that Ron Paul has always openly spoke against expansion of gov’t is not a refutal. You can disagree that Ron Paul’s platform is best for America, but you can’t disagree he’s consistently against more government and promising towards rolling back on government, can you?
Master Shake- good joke, nice to know you don’t consider Paul a Nazi.
The patriot act!! Oh no!! We can’t let our law enforcement agencies co-operate with each other. That would be too logical. Btw, the black helicopters should be finding your location any minute now.
Josh, I read the post, I wasn’t disagreeing with you, I was pointing out how your comments make me laugh. I mean, right after talking about “neo-nazi scumbags” you mention wars for Israel, and now you’re defending skin heads and talking about “Zionist kikes”.
Look up Blair’s Law and perhaps you’ll understand my comment.
Probably not but I’m rooting for you anyway.
Wait a second, maybe Josh is the new incarnation of The Limey!
Ah memories!
Naw, I doubt it. If he was, he would already be talking about angry machines and such
Ron Paul is the only candidate that gives Josh a woodie.
Ron Paul is the only candidate who validates the neo-KKK ramblings of trolls.
Ron Paul’s wife makes GREAT fishsticks!
I’m still trying to figure out how bad a typist Josh must be that he ended up at “www.imao.us” when he was trying to get to Stormfront.
Personally I believe that the type of supporters a candidate has says much about the candidate. I find it ironic how easy it is to prove how looney Ru Paul’s combined views* are. All you have to do is to post even a half-a$$ fisking of any of his stated positions and within minutes one of his lemmings will post a rant and prove your point.
*I say combined because even a blind squirrel finds the occasional acorn. An RP supporter can point out a single RP position that makes sense but using that logic we could also point out that Il Duce made the trains run on time, David Duke is for smaller government, and that Lyndon LaRouche is pro-life.
I don’t mind being called a Nazi scumbag, but since you guys said it first, I’ll take the label to make my point.
Il Duce made the trains run on time, David Duke is for smaller government, and that Lyndon LaRouche is pro-life.
What has David Duke done that was bad for us? LaRouche has just too many ideas I can’t follow, Il Deuce is dead already (and to my memory, a pussy). However, I can defend and agree on 95-99% of what Ron Paul stands for, you might dislike him and I respect that.
Yes, you still can’t answer my question that you can’t name even an incident in the past 5 years of neo-Nazis killing anybody (adding up to exceed 5 people).
So what’s wrong with being a racist neo-Nazi, kike-hating skinhead scumbag? You think its worse than being a warmonger who’s assisted, avodcated and morally supported murders Iraqis, Israelis, Palestinians and Americans?
to answer your question: yes
Dearest Josh,
Please point to anything in the thread before your pointless Ron Paul ass kissing drivel that would lead any partway rational being to conclude that anyone posting takes Ron Paul seriously and therefore wants to hear your boring Nazi rant.
Go home jackass, you moRon Paul supporters aren’t even worthy of carrying the jock of the better trolls that have passed through here.
You make me pine for the good old days of the monkey faced liberal.
BTW You do realize Junior that Mussolini making the trains run on time is a myth.
So what’s wrong with being a silly empty-headed moron who’s into bukkake and tatoos?
That last post was not by me but one of you warmonger jerks. I am NOT into bukkake…I’m into felching!
For somebody who thinks killing and advocating killing is worse than hating? I have nothing to say.
This is (probably) the last post I leave on this thread, since somebody found it fun to pose as me to talk dirty, goes to show your morals!
First of all, I don’t care about Mussolini either way, he’s dead and to my memory a pussy (and I never heard of the train myth until today, so it’s irrelevant)
(Hint: the two comments I see above me without links to my site are fake, and those after this one in this thread are probably fake too. Hopefully readers who care are smart enough to tell)
hey, what did Sarcasm Man say?
One more thing…I like to choke the squirrel while watching The View.
One more thing…if you are going to pose as me, then do it in fish net stockings and a thong (they make me feel pretty)
wow, I can’t figure out if that was really him or someone posing
Josh who?
Great.
Why did you scare off poor Josh?
He’s a Nazi. You reich-wingers should love him!
Damn. I’m still sore from what I had to do to get Josh over here to spread the word of Ron Paul.
And then there’s all the time it takes to get made up.
Oh, well. Back to Stormfront to get another “true believer”.
Hail Satan!
Monkey Faced Liberal
Were Ron Paul and Harry Reid separated at birth?
Ron Paul is the only man capable of replacing Bob Barker on the price is right.
Ron Paul is the only man who can rid me of this turbulent priest.
hey, what did Sarcasm Man say?
Dey stoled mah bukket!
I admit, I LOLed when SM wrote that.
Ron Paul gets his powers from conspiracy theories.
If enough people believe the government was behind 9/11, Ron Paul’s powers will rival that of Fred Thompson!
Ron Paul is the last hope for getting these pesky pet stains out of my carpet.
With his face.
Ron Paul’s hed iz pastede on yay
I understand there is a run on “stakes” and mallets to take care of the Ron Paul supporters.
MFL,
did they finally let you out in public again?
I’m better now.
Relative to before, that is.
Now that I’ve found my savior, Ron Paul.
Hail Satan!
Monkey Faced Liberal
“How diverse is the republican candidate platform? Let’s see, who didn’t vote for the Patriot Act? Who didn’t support the War? Who’s for pulling out now?
Should have been your father however long ago you were born +9 months.
ABOUT HOT DOGS…
Actually, the hot dog eating record is now owned by a man from California who shattered Kobayashi’s record by almost 6 dogs. And its all thanks to the Ron Paul running for President. Let’s keep up with the events folks. USA! USA!
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-06-02-hot-dog-eating-record_N.htm
Ron Paul is the ONLY man that can play Bonzo to Fred’s Regan. Bedtime!
Ron Paul is the ONLY person Bill can look at and think “Thank god for Hillary.”
Ron Paul is the ONLY guy that John Edwards could beat in a sissy fight.
Ron Paul is the ONLY person who will personally uncover the secrets of Area 51, because he was there, and escaped the ship.
Paul is not his real last name. Legally he is
Ron XY. Look for the bellybutton!
Ron Paul is the ONLY person who would get in a car W/ Ted Kennedy.