And their businesses!
I’ll never patronize any monkey business, and I’m glad to hear he won’t either.
Archive of entries posted on 14th December 2007
Clinton Adviser Fired, Decapitated
The head of Bill Shaheen, a Hillary Clinton adviser who caused controversy by talking about Barack Obama’s past drug use, was found in a box delivered to the New York Times with a hand written apology marked for public release. Hillary Clinton soon appeared on TV reiterating that “mistakes will now NOT be tolerated” by her campaign.
This is the second Clinton staffer dismembered in the past month.
An Idea
I was thinking that doing phone calls for a candidate probably doesn’t help much. Do you really expect people to vote for someone just because you gave them a phone call? If that were true, India would have huge power over our elections.
I think a better way to gain support for your candidate is to walk to the center of town and shout, “I support Fred Thompson and I challenge your strongest man to hand to hand combat!”
When the town’s hero falls at your hands, you shout, “I am the strongest! Vote Fred Thompson!” They’d have to do whatever you say if they have any honor.
The Problems of the Fred Thompson Campaign Explained
Why isn’t Fred Thompson doing better in the polls? He’s exactly the candidate Republicans want, so why aren’t they voting for him? You have the toughness of Giuliani without all the baggage. There’s also the social conservatism of Huckabee without the liberal populism. Also, he’s not Mormon, so no worries about how that will play. So what’s the problem?
People say he’s too lazy and not campaigning hard enough. What the hell is that crap? He can’t just be the perfect candidate, he also has to bark like a dog for you to show how much he wants to be president? Fred Thompson does not bark like a dog. That’s part of the charm of Fred Thompson. So “lazy” is a stupid reason and I don’t believe it.
With Republicans having been given the exact candidate they’ve all been asking for, what possibly could explain that some aren’t planning on voting for him? Occam’s Razor says the reason must be the populace is infected with some sort of brain-eating bacteria. Those with an early stage of the disease are Huckabee supporters (“He’s likes the Bible and he talks purty!”) and those with an advanced stage are Ron Paul supporters (“The only hope for America! Where’s my pants?!”). As I’ve always said, brain-eating bacteria is a problem we have to remain vigilant for (and why you always wash your hands after using the bathroom), but obviously someone dropped the ball here. Now we need to isolate Ron Paul supporters from the general populace and forcefully inject antibiotics into Huckabee supporters to see if we can save them before its too late.
No one ever said democracy was easy.
Heh
Fred Thompson’s answer on his favorite keepsake.
What is it with some people not voting for Fred Thompson? Do people not want awesome candidates because it makes them feel small in comparison? I want to flying scissor kick those people.
(hat tip Hot Air)
UPDATE:
Here’s Fred Thompson joking about his “lazy” label.