Thank You!

As a housewarming gift for our new home, SarahK and I received today a infrared remote control t-rex from John Hawkins. It was the perfect gift and exactly what we needed.
As always happens when I receive an infrared remote control t-rex in the mail, there will be a new In My World™ tomorrow.

Addendum

I just realized I’ve been so down on actual Republicans running for the presidential nomination today that I forgot to mention Ron Paul.
Ron Paul is a nut who is only out-nutted by his supporters, the super-nuts. That is all.

Child Pornagraphers Concerned: “Will They Think We’re ALL Liberal Talk Show Hosts?

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Child pornagraphers, who suffer a bad image everywhere, especially red states, today issued a statement regarding the arrest of liberal talk show host Bernie Ward. “We want people to know that just because we dig child porn, that it in no way makes us want to host a progressive radio show.”
Many in the industry feel that being linked to this type of situation bodes badly for child pornographers. Said one spokes man with the National Association of Child Pornagraphers, “Sure, they can hide behind the First Amendment, but if people start to think that you’re something OTHER than a child pornographer, then it could hurt your career in the long run.”
Most child pornographers have no affiliation with liberal radio at all. They’re concerned that they might finally face a stereotype that can bring them all down.
Said one source who insisted on secrecy, “Sure, many of these liberal talk show hosts stay in the shadows. They lurk in dark places where nobody will hear them – like Air America. But eventually, they do something stupid and get caught.”
Bernie insists that he was looking at child porn while doing research for a book. If that excuse doesn’t work, then he’ll insist that it’s not his and that he was only holding it for a friend.

Question

Do you think Romney’s speech today was aimed at people who were considering not voting for him because he’s Mormon or people considering not voting for him because they think people won’t vote for him because he’s Mormon? Or was it just a pointless grab for attention?
I ask, because I personally couldn’t bring myself to care about it. I know what Mormonism is, I think I have a fairly good idea who Romney is, so I didn’t feel their was anything worthwhile to glean from his speech. He is my second choice right not out of the Republican frontrunners, and I don’t think a speech on religion is going to change that. Who is the target audience that would have their opinions changed by his speech?

The Inhumans Are Behind Huckabee

Huckabee says the force behind his rise in poll is “not human.” Do think its aliens? That would explain a lot. I have no idea why so many people are getting behind this guy given his past record and recent statements. An alien mind-control ray would square that circle.
BTW, if you vote for Huckabee, you’re a bad Christian who hates brown people (Ha! Two can play at that game!).

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgThere’s now an embarrassing video featuring John Edwards floating around the internet. In several scenes you can CLEARLY see John not wearing any hairspray.

Don’t Let Jews Steal All the Credit

A forward-thinking environmental group has suggested that Jews should light one less Hanukkah candle this year, so as to prevent the production of 15 grams of carbon dioxide.
While I certainly favor annoying Jews as frequently as possible by assaulting and insulting their holiday traditions, I favor even more not letting them get credit for being greener than people who celebrate Christmas. It makes us look bad. Let THAT keep up long enough, and pretty soon Muslims will want to push US into the sea.
So here are some suggestions for Christmas celebrators to help save the planet before the Jews do it for us:


Nothing says “I love the planet” like a Christmas wreath of fetid, festering garbage, teeming with festive holiday bacteria.
  • If you see Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, or Rudolph, shoot them. Reindeer flatulence is the planet’s leading source of greenhouse gasses.
  • Trees absorb carbon dioxide, but only if they’re growing. Prevent the harvesting of Christmas Trees by the judicious concealed placement of poisoned punji sticks and razor wire near Christmas tree farms.
  • Tell your children they won’t be getting any presents this year. The copious flowing of their salty tears will help replenish our planet’s rapidly evaporating oceans.
  • Stay indoors, lest you block precious sunlight from an evergreen tree that’s busy cleaning up your filthy, filthy carbon dioxide.
  • Forego the electric lights on your tree. Decorate with the natural, environmentally-friendly bioluminescence of crushed firefly abdomens.
  • Recycle creatively. That unwanted fruitcake would make a perfect spare tire for your Prius.
  • Instead of hanging mistletoe, try hanging a shiny, colorful DVD of Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth”.
  • Although beautiful, Pointsettia plants are deadly poison. Feed them to reindeer.

If you have any eco-embracing Christmas activities you plan to enjoy this year, feel free to share them with your fellow lovers of our beautiful planet in the comments.

If Huckabee Cracks Down on Illegal Immigrants, Won’t that Make Jesus Mad?

Huckabee has released an immigration plan. Based on his previous dealings with illegal immigrants, I half expected it to be “enthusiastically hump their legs.” His plan looks good, but its hard to trust him on the issue when he’s still defending free tuition for illegal immigrants. That’s someone who just doesn’t understand the issue at its core (like Giuliani and guns).
There’s a lot of talk about a Giuliani/Huckabee ticket. Do you think that would mean the best of two conservatives or the worst of two liberals?

Holy Crap!

Romney is a Mormon!
UPDATE:
BTW, I think Mormonism is pretty wacky and a blasphemous assault to Christianity, but I’d be hard pressed to come up with anything bad to say about a Mormon or anything they’ve done in recent years (unlike say, Scientology). I.e., I consider someone being a Mormon a plus… outside of the blasphemy.
Harry Reid is still a douche, though.

The Religion Show, with your Host, Miiiiiitt Roooomney

I think if you think you have to give a big, much hoopla’ed speech to tell people you don’t think your religion should pose a problem for voters, you’ve really managed to get your sacred undergarments in a bunch.

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Some people become measurably smarter just by breathing the same air Fred Thompson does. Others become measurably deader.