Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards’s least favorite part of the campaign trail? Bone-crushing handshakes from toddlers.

Fred Thompson Blogburst

Today is the Fred Thompson blogburst.
I think Fred Thompson is awesome. I tell people, “Fred Thompson is awesome.” One person was like, “No he isn’t.” So I punched him in his face and said, “That’s for saying Fred Thompson isn’t awesome! That’s why I punched you in the face!” Then I kicked him. Then the police came. They said, “What happened here?” And I said, “I punched this guy because he said Fred Thompson isn’t awesome.” Then the police arrested me for insufficient assault. I was like, “That’s not an actual crime!” And they said, “We also planted drugs on you.” And they put me in jail and I yelled, “Come on! Let me out! It’s Christmas!” And they said, “It’s not Christmas anymore.” And I said, “Well, I’ve been pretty drunk and lost track of what day it is.” Then SarahK came and bailed me out of jail. She’s mad and won’t talk to me now.
So donate to Fred Thompson:

He needs money to run ads in Iowa which is really critical right now. Of course, if he isn’t elected, I guess there’s always Huckabee. And sweet, sweet death.

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson isn’t some hippie that worries about his “carbon footprint.” He has twenty-five gas-guzzling cars that can combine in groups of five to form five giant gas-guzzling robots that can all combine to form one even bigger, even more gas-guzzling robot which then transforms into a car which Fred Thompson drives to the corner store to pick up a quart of milk.

Fred Thompson Blogburst Tomorrow

See header.
The thing in larger font in bold above the main text.
That’s where the message is.
Yes, look above this for the message.
Know what? You’re retarded. I’m not even bothering anymore.
Here’s the link.
Incidentally, Fred Thompson is trying to raise $248,846 by 6PM Friday so he can run his new ad (you can see it here).
Let’s help make sure Fred Thompson wins the primary so 2008 will be awesome instead of suck.
UPDATE:
Forgot post are on Eastern time. Blogburst is later today.
Hell, let’s start now. Put your Christmas money here: