Ronin Profile: Ernie Loco

Ernie Loco

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Ernie Loco.


What’s the story behind your name? In the Weird Al movie “UHF”, there’s this used car salesman named Crazy Ernie. I thought that sounded like a good screen name, but when I tried to use it at some website, Crazy Ernie was already taken. So I “translated” it to Spanish, and I’ve been using Ernie Loco ever since.
Where do you live? I currently live in West Lafayette, Indiana, but I still claim Fort Wayne as my place of residence.
How old are you? Young enough to have been born during the golden age of the Reagan administration, but old enough to have voted for Bush. (23 to be exact)
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m just a good old-fashioned, conservative Christian, skinny whiteboy from Indiana. I like playing all kinds of sports, but I really love football. I’m a huge University of Michigan fan, so this season’s been pretty rough. I’m also into computers, so much so, that I got a degree in computer engineering this past May from Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. I’m currently at Purdue University working on a masters degree in Electrical Engineering. I suppose I’ll have to grow up and get a job at some point, but I’m trying
to put that off as long as possible. In addition to all that, I also like: reading science fiction books, Colts football, and hot, conservative chicks. (So if you know any near West Lafayette, send them my way. :-p )
How long have you been reading IMAO? I’ve only actually been reading IMAO for about 4 months, but I’ve read so much of the archives that it seems a lot longer. I was drawn in by the Fred Thompson shirt, and I haven’t left since.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? My favorite post is the one where Petraeus talks about reducing troops in Iraq, but a lot of the In My Worlds are great as well. Heck, there’s not much of anything on IMAO that I don’t like. …Except for trolls. I don’t like them.
[Not even Ron Paul trolls? -Ed.]
If you were to describe IMAO in three words, what would those be? Hmm, either “Brilliant political satire” or more likely, “Mocking retarded morons”
What’s your favorite political issue? I don’t know about favorite, but the issue that most sends me into a murderous rage is abortion. That’s the dealbreaker for me because I don’t see how killing babies is ever justifiable, let alone should be supported by my tax dollars. After that, I have very strong opinions about gay marriage, killing terrorists, high taxes, teaching that relativistic liberal BS in public schools, gun control, social security reform, securing the borders, Ron Paul being a looney toon, and pretty much any other issue out there.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yeah, I’ve got a personal blog on Xanga that I update irregularly. But mostly it’s just me talking about football and/or my latest homework/test/lack of sleep. Not particularly interesting, but you’re welcome to check it out if you like.
Do you see any disadvantages to doing away with the environment? Well, with the environment gone, we wouldn’t have any of those stupid environmental protection laws getting in the way of progress. Plus, we’d never have to hear Al Gore open his mouth again, and I’m all for that!
The only disadvantage I see is, with the environment destroyed, all life on earth would perish. But that’s a small price to pay to get Al Gore to shut up, so let’s do it! Nuke the Earth!


To be in the running for this, make sure you commented in the last post asking for entrants. Thanks to everyone who has participated thus far; just because you may not think you’re interesting doesn’t mean we won’t enjoy your story.

I Give Up; What Are These?

I get these like reminders to close comments to old posts:

Name: chjsonlr mhptsyc
Email Address: egruin@mail.com
URL: http://www.itdvjenuk.uqvicr.com
Comments:

hwiebq jgfthwv lqgitf hxbj sutmrqoc duqfgblmo qgrmnxsv

It’s just random strings of text, far as I can tell, but I always get these to old posts. Any idea who does them and why?
UPDATE:
I should note I’ve seen this off and on for over a year and it only occurs to old posts (just like comment spam which rarely targets new posts).

Ronin Profiles Open Casting

I want to get back to Ronin Profiles, so if you’ve yet to be featured and want to, just comment to this post and make sure to fill out the e-mail box when you do (only I get to see that, so no worries about spam).

In My World: No Big Deal

“We knew the destruction of those interrogation tapes was going to be a big deal,” White House Press Secretary Dana Perino told the press, “but luckily we found a new copy so we’ll just show you what’s on it so your imaginations will stop running wild.”
On screen behind her was scene of a Muslim man looking panicked as unseen people prepped him.
“So, yes,” Perino said, “what you are seeing here is the interrogators connecting a car battery to the subject’s gonads. That seems pretty bad, but, come on, he’s a terrorist! Who really cares what we do to him?”
On screen, the terrorist started screaming. After a couple minutes, one reporter asked, “Since this is supposed to be an interrogation, shouldn’t he be asked questions at some point?”
Perino was silent for a moment. Finally, she shrugged. “Okay, you got us. It wasn’t an interrogation. We just thought shocking a terrorists gonads would make an entertaining video for the CIA Christmas party. Still, are you going to feel sympathy for him? He’s a terrorist!”
They watched as the terrorist on screen kept shaking and screaming. Eventually, a reporter asked, “Don’t you mean ‘holiday’ party.”
“Yes, sorry, it’s for the CIA holiday party.”
On screen, they watched as for another minute straight the terrorist kept screaming. “So… how long does this go on?”
“A while,” Perino said, “The battery is a Die Hard.”

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpg30 years ago, John Edwards discovered the wonders of Crisco, and now he won’t use anything else.
For his Mom’s pecan pie recipe.
What did you THINK I was talking about?
Bonus Facts from Jim:
John Edwards knows what it’s like to rough it. One time at band camp, he forgot his favorite brush and was stuck using his backup one for two weeks.
It is a well-known myth that Eskimos have dozens of words for “snow”. It is a little-known fact that John Edwards has dozens of words for “pedicure”.
Bonus Facts from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards is envious of two things about George W. Bush:
1. He’s President of the United States
2. He can twist the lids off jars by himself.

Let’s Make Hillary Fire All of Her Volunteers

On Sunday, the Clinton campaign requested the resignation of a second Iowa volunteer coordinator who forwarded a hoax e-mail saying Barack Obama is a Muslim possibly intent on destroying the United States.
Is that all it takes to get fired by the Clintons? Forwarding juicy gossip e-mails that paint negative pictures of her political opponents?
Heck, if it’s that easy, I’m thinking we could speed up the process by flaunting temptation in their direction.
So, in your spare time, forward an internet rumor e-mail to your local Clinton campaign office, with some breathless header like “I’ve been a Hillary fan for a long time, but after finding out this information about [political opponent], now I know I’m backing the right person for the job of President. Please pass this along to as many other loyal Hillarists as possible!”
If you don’t want to pick on Barack’s Muslimicity, there’s always:
John Edwards: Neighbor From Hell
John Edwards Made My Grandpa Die From the Flu
“Hillary Clinton – Proudly Marxist, Just Like Me!”
Obama places hand over crotch during National Anthem
“John Edwards – Faaaaaabulous!
Now, I hear some of you doubters saying “this plan would never work! Hillary volunteers are FAR too savvy to fall for obvious right-wing treachery”.
To which I reply, these people are doing unpaid work for a woman with a net worth of $40 million dollars. Figuring out that they’re being suckered is obviously not their forte.

That ‘Ole Huckabee!

When Huckabee said he wanted to round up gay people and put them in camps, that just because he was confused when he heard that “Gay people love camp.”

Ron Paul Doesn’t Translate Well

Here’s Ron Paul at the Spanish debate in Miami saying we should restore ties with Castro’s Cuba. My favorite part is when they pan over to McCain who is cracking up:

BTW, at the beginning they’re cheering the vote rejecting Hugo Chavez, not cheering for Hugo Chavez (it may be a Spanish language debate, but it’s a Republican Spanish language debate).
(hat tip Hot Air)
UPDATE:
From the same debate:

Asked what he would do with Castro, who has reigned through nine different U.S. presidents, Fred Thompson said, grinning: “I’m going to make sure that he didn’t survive 10 U.S. presidents.”

Fred Thompson is awesome.
(hat tip Devil_Dog)

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

There are already plans for the supercarrier the U.S.S. Fred Thompson. It will carry and launch other aircraft carriers.