There’s a lot there to work with. You have “mentally ill” in the same sentence as Biden but not describing him, another failure of White House security, and the odd idea of someone having an infatuation with Joe Biden. Well, here’s my attempt at a joke:
A mentally ill man got within feet of the Vice President Friday. Security knew something was awry since Biden was supposed to meet with Obama’s cabinet until next week.
Eh. I think that’s okay. Basically, I decided why go after Biden when I can go after Obama. And since many people think Obama’s cabinet and czars are some pretty nutty people, I just tried to get from “mentally ill” to “Obama’s associates” in the least clunky way possible. I could have gone with a joke about Biden being mentally ill, but that seems like the obvious joke here so I’d have to find a really oblique way of insinuating it or it wouldn’t be very funny. Does seem like there’s a joke in the infatuation with Joe Biden part, but haven’t thought of one yet. Oh, and since the whole thing happened in Canada, there’s probably some Canada or Winter Olympics joke angle too.
So let’s see what you can do with it.
A mentally ill man with an infatuation with Joe Biden got withing feet of the Vice President last Friday. There were security concerns until it was realized that the Vice President was looking in the mirror.
Here’s the joke I made last night: http://twitter.com/chuck_dizzle/status/9255065700
I feel it works well by a) insinuating that Biden is mentally ill; b) poking fun of incompetent security; and c) highlighting the general confusion of all involved.
That said, the mounties seemed to handle the situation admirably. They didn’t even wait for private citizens to restrain the crazy.
What do you call a mentally ill man with a crush on Biden? A f**kin’ retard!… Ram (I’ve got a million of ‘um) Emanuel, Washington DC.
“mentally ill” in the same sentence as Biden but not describing him…
sounds like his meeting with Harry Reid didn’t go well.
Biden turned; when Chris Matthews realized it was the VICE President he had stalked for the past several miles, he wept.
So, is it just me, or does it seem a bit redundant to note that a man with a Joe Biden obsession is mentally ill?
I’ll bet Michelle is pissed that she has fewer obsessed fans than Joe does.
From the update
Anderson added that the man did not appear to be focused on Biden.
Leave it to Biden to have a stalker who doesn’t pay any attention to him.
What happened to all the comments? I can’t see them.
So is Joe Biden to Canada like what the Hasslehoff is to Germany?
If so its a sad reminder why the French and British should never try and share a country.
Biden felt he was safe because “These morons use the metric system up here so he was never any amount of feet near me.”
A man who has an infatuation with another man is a homosexual. That means describing that man as mentally ill is gay bashing and is therefore a federal crime. USA Today is guilty of a federal crime.
When an openly homosexual man got too close to Vice President Joe Biden, he was arrested by the secret service. Even Darth Cheney would probably have handled the situation better than that when he was Vice President. I never heard of even Chimpy McBusHitler arresting anyone because they’re gay! Is this the change the left voted for?
Joe Biden got within feet of Vice President Cheney last Friday.
Maybe Biden feared he was a member of the lefts Gaystapo?
The guy was probably just trying to see how Ol’ Joe gets those hair plugs to look so hot…
And as an added bonus, perhaps Biden now finally feels what it’s like to be as popular as Clay Aiken.
Wow. Just wow. I don’t know where to start. This administration is comedy gold.This story is it’s own punchline.
A mentally ill man with an infatuation with Joe Biden got within feet of the Vice President last Friday. Biden denied the charge, saying “He never got near my feet, nor within them.”
Not much better than yours but:
A mentally ill man with an infatuation with Joe Biden got within feet of the Vice President last Friday. President Obama, being nearby, quipped: “Joe, what is it with you and retards?”
A mentally ill man with an infatuation with Joe Biden got within feet of the Vice President last Friday. Secret Service, confused in the kerfuffle, heard conflicting “…no *I* am the Vice-President of the United States!” before tasering the wrong individual.
A mentally ill man with an infatuation with Joe Biden got within feet of the Vice President last Friday. Biden, relieved, said: “Welcome to my fan club, buddy,” to which the tinfoil-clad lad responded: “I _am_ the Biden Fan Club.”
A mentally ill man with an infatuation with Joe Biden got within feet of the Vice President last Friday. Biden, known for his statesmanlike quotes and demeanor, said: “Hey, maybe the guy’s just a little bit gay… you know Elton John says Jesus was gay, and I pal around with Obama, who’s like Jesus, so hey, go figure!”
A mentally ill man with an infatuation with Joe Biden got within feet of the Vice President last Friday. Biden, the object of the afflicti — affection, excitedly exclaimed: “I haz beer summit?” #4WordsOnJoeBidensHand
That’s all I got.
A mentally ill man got within feet of the Vice President Friday. The the floor director said “Mr. Olbermann, we’re on in 5, 4, 3, 2 . . . .”
Of course, the first “The” shoud be “Then”