Now, due to quantum physics, particles can teleport… THROUGH TIME!
Quantum physicists come out with weird new claims all the time, but people don’t seem to give it much scrutiny. I guess because it’s not like global warming where they’re trying to pass laws or like evolution where there is religious controversy, no one really cares even though it’s the most illogical science of all. Quantum physicists will be like, “We found out that quantum particles are actually tiny magic gorillas that can travel through time and space.” And everyone will be like, “Neat!”
I guess it’s up to me to call scientists on this. Hey, quantum physicists, I know you’re just making this all up. You say have all this neat stuff like teleportation, but there’s always some loophole that makes sure we can never pass information faster than the speed of light. It’s like that guy from the movie Mystery Men who could only turn invisible when people weren’t looking. And that’s because you’re making it up. So get me one of this magic quantum computers you say you’re working and use it to break public key encryption, or just shut up and admit you’re frauds.
That’s how you handle Science!, people.
Frank, how can Science! provide me with the two things I truly, truly want, a teleporter and a holodeck if you keep this anti Science! stuff up?
Think about it, with teleporters, there’s no more TSA pat downs and the resulting long lines at airports. In fact, we can turn airports into giant skateboard parks or roller rinks. Maybe giant shooting ranges with the now obslolete airplanes as targets. Even into really cool play parks for kids were they can slide down the evacuation shutes of jetliners! Drive to Texas? hell no, teleport to Texas! Avoid traffic jams, no need to spend money on gas, tolls and motels for the night. What’s not to like?
And holodecks, can you imagine holodecks? No date for a Saturday night? No problem! Just program a holo babe who looks like “insert your favorite Hollywood babe here” and has the hots for you and off you go. No spending money on dinner and a movie in hope of getting some. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Guaranteed results!
So understand I have a lot at stake here, don’t go messing it up for me by badmouthing Science!, Frank. C’mon quantum physics!
It’s kind of like the Palin hoo-ha. They stretch a claim in order to make the next claim, and so on. That is, I’m not a Scientist! But how is the concept of “action at a distance” (proven) the same as tele-transportation in space (as this guy seems to claim)?
The prob with quantum physics is that they can’t really figure things out, like when I was a kid and thought there were little people in the television. String theory is their way of saying there are little people in the television.
I always knew History. was better than Science! Some followers of History. make up crap, but they are invariably bashed upside the head by such sorts as Victor Davis Hanson.
Meanwhile, made up crap such as string theory dances merrily as more and more crap is written about it while no one calls out the crappers.
@P I; Sure, teleporters may allow you to sidestep the TSA, but then your transportation will be regulated by the FCC, so there’s really no escaping governmental meddling. As for the holodeck, they generate everything from a program, so there will be DRM all up in your holo-babe, and she’ll probably be copyrighted and Apple will heavily restrict what she can do, unless she’s jailbroken.(I almost said rooted, but that’s just obscene!)
great now all I can think about it the episode of Futurama with the Lucy Liu-bot
I will never trust Science! until it denounces that evil Schrödinger and his vicious experiments.
Well played, DamnCat.
I’ve always wondered what would happen if we strapped Barney Frank to a rocket and sent him to Uranus. I think it would cause a warp in the space time continuum! Possibly that is the part of the Quantum equation that they aren’t telling us about…
Let me see if I understand what they are saying…
If I stand where I am for 30 minutes, close my eyes, then open my eyes 30 minutes from 30 minutes ago i will be in the future?
With 1.21 jigowatts, anything is possible.
JimmyC, Barney has already been to Uranus. He used to keep it in a box in his closet, but it got out.
Oh to have a job where all I did all day was present possible theories that may or may not have any basis in truth…in the name of Science!
That’s because light doesn’t exist spacially between generation and detection but is free to travel backwards and forwards in time (equally) during that interval… though highly unlikely. I wonder if there are “spreading losses in time?”
BTW, Uranus is one place I do not wish to travel, spacially or temporally.
Will Al and Ziggy be there, too?
Burmashave, I don’t think it’s very polite to be talking about Palin’s hoo-ha. >=(
Heisenberg was pulled over by a cop,
Cops asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?
Heisenber says, “No, but I knew where I was.”
To get to the other side.
Why did the tachyon cross the road?
I’m done.
Never trust a man named Werner, Veeshir.
And you’re all missing the REALLY low hanging fruit on this one.
This is old news. Didn’t you catch this article the first time it came out a long time ago?
I just want everyone know that I travelled in time from my last post until now.
I posted this next week.
http://web.mit.edu/adorai/timetraveler/
Don’t forget, the time traveler convention is May 5, 2007.
I’m going last week if anybody needs a ride.
Hey, as long as these “scientists” are busy postulating theories on time travelling qbits or Higgs-Bosons or whatever, they can’t be working on a quantum computer, which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned.
If they create a quantum computer that can break public key encryption, I’m going to have to reencrypt all my harddrives with quantum encryption! And you know the first generation quantum computers are going to be super expensive.
http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb177.html
Science: If it were easy, it’d be your Mom.