Wish I Were at CPAC

Man, I really got to start going to these conferences like CPAC. One of my dreams is to go someplace where there is a possibility I’ll run into someone who knows who I am. It’s just these things cost like money to go to and you have to take time off of work and you have to get on a plane which is both expensive and annoying.

Still, I really feel like I should be helping push conservatism into the future — you know fighting against jetpack and laser gun regulations and working on getting voting rights for robots (if we start winning the support of robots now, Republicans will own the elections as soon as robots get the vote because then we can just make more voters). A lot of the old guard don’t understand stuff like this and laugh at the notion of a military filled with dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them, so that’s why we young guys need to get our voice in there while we’re still considered young guys. Like, I’m 33; I’m not sure how much longer I get to be one of the more youthful conservatives. Well, looking at the people running the Republican Party, I guess until I’m about 60.

So, what do you think should be the future of conservatism? I’m thinking conquering other planets. Going to other planets looks like the only realistic way to escape big government now.

13 Comments

  1. One of my dreams is to go someplace where there is a possibility I’ll run into someone who knows who I am.

    I’d suggest you attend the 28th Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology conference, it’s coming up in a few months.

  2. Conquering other planets is a start but we really need to just destroy them. That’ll send a message. We could say, “Remember how Pluto USED to be a planet. Now, it’s not even cohesive matter thanks to Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. Remember that when you write your donation checks.”

    We should also run on a platform of giving a big guy a 2X4 with a nail in it complete presidential immunity, a copy of the constitution, and a map of every congressman and senator’s home. He will just stroll around DC teaching politicians to read this 6 page document upon pain of 2X4.

  3. A) Bacon to DamnCat ~~~ Great pull!

    B) Maybe we should look into organizing an IMAO – and affiliates (Nuking Politics, AMAS, etc.) meet-up somewhere in the middle of the country, making it a bit easier for those who aren’t coastal to attend.

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  5. So Frank wishes that he was a CPAC on the IDES OF MARCH!

    Me too! I can’t think of a better place to be on this historic day.
    Also it could be a good alibi, if you needed one

    Happy IDES of March Day everyone

  6. “So, what do you think should be the future of conservatism?”

    Ronald ray guns (yes, an oldie, but appropriate here)

    Anything that would disgust Obama: an Appall-“O” Program

    A Bill of Responsibilities (that one’s serious)

    A MadisOn/Off switch for the Supreme Court

    Palindrones

    Anti-gravitas boots

    A CPAC-e Odyssey

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