Must be frustrating for some that Syria not oil rich. Denied chance to tweet sagely that talk of action on CW is really all about oil.

— Tom Fletcher (@HMATomFletcher) August 27, 2013

i slept like a rock "u mus be wel-rested then" no. *puls u so close to my face that our noses smoosh & our eyebals touch* rocks nevre sleep

— jomny sun (@jonnysun) August 27, 2013

Corporations profit by poisoning their customers and have lavish budgets for hit men and wet-work teams. #thingsthatonlyhappeninthemovies

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) August 27, 2013

They've created an iPhone case that also holds you credit cards and cash -for those who like to consolidate their things getting stolen.

— Evan Morgenstern (@evanjm02) August 27, 2013

the boss hands me a gun, "you know what to do." I nod. outside, I frantically google: boss gun why how to kill is killing ok regift gun ok

— Dave Dittell (@davedittell) August 27, 2013

#NameObamasNewWar Operation Don't Worry It's Not For Oil, Or Anything Else For That Matter

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 28, 2013

Call me old fashioned, but I still prefer slingshot-ing REAL birds into REAL walls.

— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) August 28, 2013

Then because my dumb ass couldn't enjoy just one icing I was left with icingless toaster strudels and complete and utter emptiness

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 29, 2013