Are you getting tired of celebrating a Christian holiday? Getting tired of all that Christmas cheer?
All that can now change!
Lef-tel records is proud to present . . .
The Liberal Democrat Non Specific Holiday Music Special!!!
Now you too can enjoy these wonderful performers singing better versions of the popular holiday music you’ve grown to hate and resent. Yes, we’ve taken the classics and made them more politically relevant than ever!!!
So gather round the environmentally friendly, fuel efficient fireplace and sing along with these new classics — such as . . . John Kerry singing Two Red States
[Sung to All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth]
Every body stops
and stares at me
Those Electoral Votes
not enough you see
I don’t know just who
to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve
is as plain as it can be!
All I want for Christmas is just two red states
Two red States
Two red states..
[Classical Guitar Solo]
“I served in Vietnam, thank you. Thank you.”
“Can we edit some applause in there after the solo? No, why not? I served in ‘Nam!”
If you love Kerry, then you’ll love our own John Edwards when he sings . . . Rudolph the Differently-Abled Reindeer.
There must have been some merit
To the legal case they filed
Cuz when they took it to the court
Talk radio got all riled
Rudolph the differently-abled Reindeer
Was a genetically challenged soul
We don’t know who to blame
But it’s all the same
We’ll just sue the hospital –Hey!
But there’s more. Ted Kennedy Joins the Fun with I’ll Have a Blue Haunarama Kwansmas Without You . . .
Ted. Ted? You’re on. Geeze, Just how drunk is he? Uh, we’ll come back to Kennedy.
(Off camera – Can somebody help that man?)
Uh, oh yeah,
Plus we’ll have a special duet from the Reverends Sharpton and Jackson. with Frosty the Oppressive White Snowman . . .
Frosty the Oppressive White Snowman,
Was a jolly happy soul,
With great big house, and a real fast car
and a great big bank account
Frosty the Snowman is a working man they say
It doesn’t show, but we all know
He made his money off the poor
Rosie O’Donnel joins in with a very special message of tolerance: I Saw Mommy Kissing Mrs. Clause . . .
I saw mommy kissing Mrs. Clause
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep.
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Mrs. Claus
Underneath her shirt so white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If my other mom had seen
Mommy kissing Mrs. Claus last night.
Plus, Rosie sings a more human version of Come All Ye Faithful
Come homosexuals
Come out and get married
Forget about laws, and rules, and
Do what you want . . .
Plus. Oh, Here we go. Plus Ted Kennedy sings I’ll Have a Blue Haunarama Kwansmas Without You . . .
Ah Crap. Somebody roll him off the set please.
Okay.
Plus, the whole gang sings a song of encouragement to the Supreme Court Justices with Puh-leeze Never Die . . .
[sung to Feliz Navidad]
Puh-leeze Never Die
Puh-leeze Never Die
Puh-leeze Never Die
They’ll replace you with a Christian
So please don’t die
I want to wish you a lengthy lifespan
I want to wish you a lengthy lifespan
I want to wish you a lengthy lifespan
From the bottom of my heart
Plus you’ll enjoy other classics such as–
I’m dreaming of a racially diverse Christmas.
Little Town of Bethlehem withdraw from Palestine.
And the all time classic . . .
Grandma got run over by an SUV
Order now.
Price based on income. The rich must always pay more than their fair share. Sorry, no sales to Republicans.
So please post comments. This commercial was produced by RightWingDuck and
Sir Kisser
Which songs would you like to see performed on the follow up album?
“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like the Democratic Party Has Become Irrelevant and Impotent”
No. 2
‘Grandma got run over [by] an SUV’
Hee hee hee.
A Partridge in a Pear Tree [however you spell it] would be an easy parody song.
Songs I’d like to hear:
Silent Night (because John AshKKKroft crushed our dissent)
The 8 years of BusHitler
O Evil Tool of Halliburton
Too stinkin’ funny!! Except I might have to go scratch my eyes out after that last Ted Kennedy photo!!
i’m just wondering what the Lef-Jam Christmas album sounds like….and yes, jonag, that last pic of Ted was over the top. funny, but gross. very gross.
and santa…a cartridge in a bare tree?
Awesome. Just awesome. Thankfully I wasn’t drinking anything while I was reading this, or I’d need a new monitor.
excellent.
Oh Come, All Ye Faithful, Report For Reeducation!
Very funny post.
Ted Kennedy?AAAAH! MY EYES!!!
Hark the Herald Moonbats Scream!
I liked the casting of the elf as John Edwards too.
Good stuff.
A Higher Power Rest Ye, Merry Gentlepersons of Any and All Possible Genders
How about Scott McClellan singing a version of Nat King Cole’s “Merry Christmas”.
“Terrorists burst in and just open fire
The dollars hitting all new lows
Anti-US slogans being slung from afar
And folks, dressed up as PLO
Everybody knows, some turkey just like Kofi Annan
Will say something and try to make things right
Chernoybl tots, with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight…..”
“The Establishment Clause Is Coming To Town (in the form of a court order to remove any remaining vestige of religious symbols from public view…)”
“The Halliburton Chorus” from Handel’s Messiah Complex
Hilarious! Well done sir.
this makes up for making me puke yesterday rightwing D.
Actually, Santa, Paul Shanklin has a song called “The Twelve Days of Clinton”. It’s quite hilarious.
You know, Frank should go on vacation more often.
hopes he isn’t reading the comments
Where are Helen Thomas, Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather?
Did you steal Ramahanakwanzmus from Glenn Beck? Shame.
i heard hanarama kwanzmus somewhere last year–don’t remember where–it wasn’t Gleen Beck
Personally, I would have said Happy HannaKwansMas. But it didn’t have the same ring.
“We wish you a merry therapy session and a Christian to jeer.”
I know. It’s bad, but I wanted to contribute.
This post wins.
That. Was. Just. Wrong.