Straight Line of the Day: The Most Surprising Thing In Feinstein’s Gun Control Bill…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The most surprising thing in Feinstein’s gun control bill

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61 Comments

  1. …is a ban on the “Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time”. It’s banning is the result of lobbying efforts by The National Optometrists Association.

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  2. None of this will ever happen! It is just a RED HERRING to draw attention away from the horrible failures of Obama.

    “Imagine, if you will, a world”, a perfect world, with no need for guns, no police and no laws. A perfect Utopia where everyone is free to do as they please. A land with no sickness, no cold weather and the sun always shines. There are no wars, there is no racism and no societal classes. A wonderful world where everyone is happy and all share the goodness of man and his riches.

    If you could just “step through a door and enter the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location in” the land of Utopia!

    Do you know what you would find in this Utopia? There would be NO LIBERALS because no one would need them. There would be NO race hustlers like Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson. And there would be NO Communist Healthcare propaganda because no one gets sick.

    You see Obama needs people to get sick and die. He wants Healthcare costs to rise because then you will NEED HIM and his kind. He needs people to get shot with guns. He needs poverty to flourish. He needs racism.

    Obama promotes Gun control because it will never happen and when it fails he will can blame us. Its just a RED HERRING

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  3. …was that it failed to make an admiring mention of Michelle Obama’s arms.

    …was that all future action films will be required to solve the differences between the (relative) good guy and the (misunderstood) bad guy with a conflict negotiator sidekick. “Do you feel like hashing out our differences in a government approved mediation session, punk—er citizen?”

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  4. Ironic Stompin’ says:

    January 28th, 2013 at 1:55 pm
    …was the requirement that retroactively all movies and TV shows have all weapons digitally removed and replaced with a stern pointing finger.

    Not to worry. After Spielberg removed a handgun from ET, my fellow bad movie fans and I jokingly figured Saving Private Ryan wouold be next, and the result would’ve been grown men running around WWII France, pointing their fingers and making “Bang Bang” noises. We seem to be safe thus far…

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  5. …it was written with the blood of dead patriots instead of ink.

    …it limits your use of articles in the Bill of Rights to six, violation of this provision will result in losing the right to bear arms.

    … it maintains that “control” means that the government can cling to guns only if your hands are busy clinging to your religion: Multitasking is not a right but a mental illness.

    …is failure to comply increases your likelihood of getting shot.

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  6. …it defines a high capacity magazine by the number of pages in the December issue of Cosmo.

    …the reminder that those are only bullet shaped Spencer’s Gifts items in your nightstand Nancy.

    …is regulation that mandatory photo of Feinstein on ammo boxes may make purchaser suicidal warning that must be printed on ammo boxes.

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  7. …it makes it a federal offense to make Clint Eastwood’s day.

    …”Hasta la vista, baby” and “I’ll be back” are considered assault phrases.

    …all guns are required to have bullet counters so you will always know if you’ve fired six shots or only five.

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  8. The Most Surprising Thing In Feinstein’s Gun Control Bill…is that it did not tell anyone how to control a gun by way of legislation such as : “First shalt thou load thy magazines and shalt thou load ten rounds, no more, no less. Ten shall be the number thou shalt load, and the number of the loading shall be ten. Eleven shalt thou not load, neither load thou nine excepting that thou then proceed to Ten. Thirty is right out. Once the number ten, being the tenth number, be reached, then release thou thy safety, assumeth the proper firing stance, aimeht towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

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  9. . . . is calling what you and I would call a trigger “that little thingy that makes the other little thingy come out of that long thingy with the hole in the end.”

    Or perhaps that isn’t surprising at all.

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  10. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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