Things have been pretty great on the honeymoon, if you discount all the puking, itching and burning and other itches which have not been getting the attention they need because of the puking itching and burning.
When I say things have been pretty great on the honeymoon, I mean for the most part, everybody on a cruise is genereally in a fairly good mood, assuming no ninja monkey attacks occur. I wasn’t allowed to bring any guns or knives or swords on board. So to defend myself and my honey bunny snoogy woogums, the lovely and talented Sarahk Fle- Hah! you monkey ninjas thought I was going to reveal my last name and the source of all my power! HAH NEVER!, ahem. Anyway, to protect us I will have to use the most dangerous weapon I own, the one they can’t take away, my mind. I was told by the snippy “security” types I would get all my weapons back when we return to port. So while we are at sea, I will have to use my mind to defeat the ninja monkeys should they attack. Nobody else ever expects them. I always do.
They took my guns etc but they can’t take my mind away , but I swear I think somebody is trying to make me lose it, instead. Being the religious Christian types we are, Sarahk and I have been saying merry Christmas when people wish us happy holidays or season’s greeting or whatever else. Some smile and nod, others have just sort of stared at us and froze up like we’d cast an ‘Immobulus’ spell on them. This was especially true of the Disney crew. We thought it was odd. Then, ths morning we find this that someone slid under the door of our stateroom.
Disney Cruise Guests
This is the joyous holiday season. We hope you are enjoying the season during your stay aboard. We would like to ensure all our guests are comfortable in every way during their time with us but even more so during the holidays.
We want everyone to enjoy this time in whatever way they observe or don’t observe holidays during this time of the year. To this end, we have assembled a list of holiday greetings that are least likely to offend others. We request that you use them exclusively or none at all during your journey with us.
Happy Holidays!
Seasons Greetings!
Happy Hannukah!
Wonderful Winter Solstice!
Happy New Year!
Feliz Navidad! (if you are a native Spanish speaker)
Have a Joyous Kwanzaa!
Happy Ramadan!
Thank you for your cooperation. Enjoy your cruise with us.
Your Cruise Director
Jamie Farr
Well, Happy Holicraptacular to you Disney! or Should I say DEM-sney. What kind of leftwing liberal PC muckadoo mindscramble is this? Telling us we can say EVERY possible holiday greeting imaginable EXCEPT for Merry Christmas?
What the freak?
You know what? We’ve wished everyone we’ve run into a very merry Christmas ever since we got this piece of trash under the door. See how you like them greetings, Chairman Mouse.
With the way things were going I thought I would get a nasty sunburn to be the red to go with my nausea green. But it turned out to just be anti-muckadoo anger that has really chafed my butt, other than the see lice. GRRRRRRRR!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, Ronin.
Mr. Fleming, you should really do a better job at maintaining your anonymity. Your wedding registries with Amazon and other sites post your full name at the top for everyone to enjoy.
As for the “politically correct” holiday greetings… I say keep it up the Merry Christmas. Then when they tell you “use Happy Kwanzaa instead” you tell them that you’re offended by Kwanzaa amd Hannukah. See what they have to say to that… HAH!
Merry Christmas!
Beggin the Colonel’s pardon, but isn’t “Feliz Navidad” just “Merry Christmas” in spanish? Is the evil Christian holiday less offensive in another language? I guess the rest of the note is so stupid that I shouldn’t nitpick.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL FROM BigEZ!!!
And another thing! Ramadan was in October, So you’ll just end up looking like an enormous ‘tard wishing people a happy one now! Dang, I’m nitpicking again. Sorry.
Jamie Farr is your cruise director? Good to see Klinger has found work since MAS*H….
I also didn’t think Ramadan was a particularly “Happy” occasion. It’s a month of fasting, worship, and charity. I guess it can be “Happy”, but I work with a lot of Muslims and NEVER heard one wish another a “Happy Ramadan”
Plus, Ramadan isn’t exactly a “Happy” holiday.
How about “Hungry Ramadan!” ??
Since no one else has truly said it in return, Merry Christmas to you and SarahK as well, Frank.
As a early present, I’ll warn you not to read my latest blog entry. 🙂
sounds like its angry letter time to the big cheese @ the mouse house.
That is just absurd, if hearing “Merry
Christmas” offends someone tell ’em to stick their fingers in their ears so they don’t have to hear it.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Who gets offended at “Merry Christmas”? I’m agnostic, but I don’t get all hot and bothered if I see the ten commandments or a nativity scene. May I suggest the following holiday greetings:
1. Kwazy Kwanza, enjoy your ancient holiday that dates all the way back to the 1960’s.
2. Happy Yule, you smelly Wiccan. I was going to give you some patchouli oil, but it seems that you’ve already bathed in some.
3. Have a very happy Ramalamadingdong. Blow up any infidels lately? In the spirit of the season, here is a BLT.
4. Happy New Year, you frickin drunk.
5. Winter Solstice? It’s been snowing since Thanksgiving, Moron.
And finally,
Merry Christmas.
Go back to the original pronunciation, and say Happy Holy Days.
But don’t do anything “rash.”
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to all!!
If you can scan a copy of that letter and post it, I’d love to see it. I’d love to show people how Disney is afraid of angering people (but only certain people) and the rest of society go jump in the lake.
Please tell me this is a joke. If not, please scan the letter and post it. I’m thinking we can get all over the news.
Hah! So Happy Hannukah is fine but Merry Christmas isn’t?
Being from Australia, where religious types have very little influence outside of religion (while it appears from here that in the US Christian groups are quite powerfull), it seems odd all the kerfuffle over “Merry Christmas”. Here it is the standard greeting, and “Happy Holidays” etc. is unusual, even for those of no religion/some religion other than Christianity.
interesting thought:
Jamie Farr= Jadis the white witch
try and take my Christmas away!
Real or face notice or not, I happened to notice on the radio the other day (station unknown) that while they did play peppy holiday music, the only one that actually said the words “Merry Christmas” was… Feliz Navidad. Made me chuckle sadly.
“… face,” “… fake.” Whatever.
Frank, take another picture of the note. Send it to me by email. I will send it to John Gibson and Bill O’Reilly at Fox News as they are trying to expose as many of these wackos as possible. It is bad when a company tells its employees they can’t say Merry Christmas, but to tell their guests that they shouldn’t is absolutely beyone belief!
Add Me to the list of those wishing to see a scanned copy of the letter. As long as it doesn’t come from a Kinko’s in Abileen, I would want Jamie Farr’s head on a stick. I’m really surprised they had the nerve to sign it. Death to mice everywhere and the whole evil PC mouse empire.
Since I have to keep the secret of your last name (which everyone seems to know anyway), I will also keep your various marital secrets (which everyone also seems to know).
I refuse to believe you about the note. Disney would never be stupid enough to authorize a greeting for the phony and toxic holiday of Kwanza, or to prohibit “Merry Chrismas” while okaying the exact same expression in Spanish. That’s so ridiculous that even I’m not stupid enough to fall for it.
A couple of times at the store, the clerk has said “Happy holiday” or some such, to which I have replied that even though I am a Joo, I would not fall down in a coma if she said “Merry Christmas.” I thought I was being sympathetic and conciliatory, but each time I got an uncomprehending look, so I have stopped.
Just be thankful you didn’t accidently book your honeymoon during a Disney Gay Cruise!
I mean really, what did you expect from the Mouse?
What NO Festivus?!? shakes fist
I’ll have to add that to the list of grievances to be aired. Now I must go lift weights to prepare for the feats of strength!
Is there at least an aluminum pole on that cursed ship?
Best Buy does the same thing with their gift cards. Go here
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp;jsessionid=QWNNKBY3POK2XKC4D3HVAFQ?type=category&id=cat09000
to see why my nephew will be getting a gift certificate/credit/card/whatever at Amazon for Christmas, rather than a gift card from Best Buy, which would be easier for all concerned, since my nephew, being only fourteen doesn’t have a credit card.
Frank … stop posting on your honeymoon. Honeymoons are not for blogging. Yeesh! “Youth is wasted on the wrong people,” indeed.
Heh. Exile had it right. I’d be telling every crewmember I saw “Merry Christmas” with as much enthusiasm and as many effusive adjectives as I could muster, if not just hyperbolizing the other “acceptable” holiday terms.
Stupid Mouse People.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! and a few more for all teh PC knuckleheads!
Do you promise?
BigEZ, liberals love to switch to other languages to soften the blow of their liberalism.
Case in point: fetus == “baby” in Latin.
Well, I heard Snoopys Christmas Carol on the classic rock station yesterday, so I guess that’s one center of tradition that can’t be futzed with.
If I could work my will,” said Scrooge McDuck indignantly, “every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.”
— “A Happy Holiday Carol”, Walt Disney Company
Seriously, is this an “In My World”-style deal?