Time for a family plug!
My uncle has a website called Buddha’s Place that offers a lot of interesting merchandise. He sent me a monk bag (made in Sri Lanka and the profits of which go to charity). SarahK made great use of that on our last trip to Disney World. Another neat item is something I never even heard of: a bamboo t-shirt.
Anyway, there are some neat stuff. Check it out.
Archive of entries posted on 5th December 2005
The Difference Between The State Of The Union and The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
NBC has finally decided to use the “Nobody bothered to tell Matt and Katie” excuse to answer criticism that NBC totally ignored the Macy’s Parade injuries.
However, NBC went on to dump empty praise on the audience for being able to tell the difference between entertainment and news events:
“I think viewers are sophisticated enough to know that Katie and Matt are covering a parade,” Capus said. “They’re not covering the State of the Union. There’s a difference.”
Just in case you’re one of the few retards out there that needs a little help:
The Difference Between The State Of The Union and The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
MACY’S PARADE: Happens on Thanksgiving Morning, once per year.
STATE OF THE UNION: Happens in late January, once per year.
MACY’S PARADE: Manhattan
STATE OF THE UNION: Washington (Until Iran gets nuclear weapons, of course. Then it will be in whatever fallout shelter the President has relocated to.)
MACY’S PARADE: Gigantic inflated sacks of hot air floating down the street, held by tethers.
STATE OF THE UNION: Ted Kennedy, Charles Rangel, Dennis Hastert…
MACY’S PARADE: Sponsored by Macy’s
STATE OF THE UNION: Sponsored by Haliburton
MACY’S PARADE: Later that evening, people will be groggy from eating too much turkey.
STATE OF THE UNION: People are groggy from wondering why we elected these turkeys.
MACY’S PARADE: Constantly interrupted by pointless commercials.
STATE OF THE UNION: Constantly interrupted by pointless applause.
STATE OF THE UNION: Many people watch while playing drinking games
MACY’S PARADE: Too early for drinking games. (Except for Ted Kennedy, of course)
MACY’S PARADE: Police line the parade route, keeping the squirming masses off of the street.
STATE OF THE UNION: Congressmen and Congresswomen line the President’s route to the podium, trying to get seen shaking hands with him while squirming and shouldering a path to the aisle. Twice.
STATE OF THE UNION: Leaders of House, Senate, and Administration are up on the podium.
MACY’S PARADE: Williard Scott is dressed in a chipmunk suit, throwing peanuts.
MACY’S PARADE: Santa Claus brings up the rear.
STATE OF THE UNION: (BARNEY FRANK JOKE DELETED)
MACY’S PARADE: Followed by bloated moron commentators yammering during football.
STATE OF THE UNION: Followed by bloated moron commentator yammering during Hardball.
Kwanzaa: Fact or Fiction?
When I was at Disney World’s Epcot Center recently, they had a large, decorated pine tree displayed prominently. I then wondered if it was a Christmas tree or one of those newfangled “Holiday” trees. There were a number of placards on the tree, and the only ones that said “Merry Christmas” were in foreign languages so as not to antagonize over-sensitive Americans, apparently. What was in English was a placard that wished my unspecified holidays would be “happy” and one that said “Have a Joyous Kwanzaa.” That made me wonder why Kwanzaa was the only holiday that could get specific mention in English. Perhaps the tenets of Kwanzaa could be offensive to me. Of course, I had no idea what Kwanzaa was and whether to be offended, so I asked the nearest Disney employee what Kwanzaa was. It happened to be Mickey Mouse, and he just shrugged his shoulders and danced a happy little jig in response. I then knocked him to the ground and demanded answers.
And, if any prosecutor asks, Mickey produced his own weapon before I pulled out the switchblade.
While the most common question in regards to Kwanzaa is “What the hell is Kwanzaa?” perhaps that’s the wrong question to be asking. Maybe a better question is whether Kwanzaa exists at all. Not only do I not know anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa, I don’t even know anyone who knows anyone who knows how to celebrate Kwanzaa if he or she wanted to.
The traditional story about the creation of Kwanzaa is that, in 1966, an American black militant exclaimed, “I ain’t celebrating no white man’s holiday!” and made a new African holiday which’s celebration would start the day after Christmas. As charming as that story is, there simply is no evidence to corroborate it. If Kwanzaa has been around nearly forty years, wouldn’t there be some documented evidence of a Kwanzaa celebration? Instead, all supposed proof of Kwanzaa is highly questionable.
Speak and Be Heard
“No Good Deed…” Take 2
I’ve resubmitted my fantasy/western short for Baen’s Universe. I’ve edited it down so it’s now pretty much straight action (and also tried to improve the general literary quality of it). You can find it at Baen’s Bar in Baen’s Universe Slush as “No Good Deed… ver 2.” Constructive or destructive criticism goes in Baen’s Universe Slush Comments in topic “No Good Deed… ver 2 comments.” I like the characters and setting enough that I might use them for the next story bit by bit.
BTW, there’s a reference to the last line of my favorite movie near the beginning. Special bonus samurai points to whoever can point out the line and what move it comes from.
Also, La Shawn Barber has a new blog devoted to Fantasy Fiction for Christians (and I agree with her that Harry Potter falls under that category).
Did Crazed Kos Readers Force Amazon to Delete Reviews?
Amazon 1-star reviews of Cindy Sheehan’s book:
12pm 12-4-05:
11-29: 3
11-30: 1
12-1: 1
12-2: 9
12-3: 3
12-4: 0
9am 12-5-05:
11-29: 2
11-30: 1
12-1: 1
12-2: 8
12-3: 3
12-4: 1
12-5: 1
See first and second tracking posts for earlier dates.
Then there’s this post at Kos (purportedly by St. Cindy) complaining that the pictures being circulated of her at a poorly-attended book-signing were taken out of context.
To cheer her up, Kos readers are encouraged in the comments to leave positive reviews at Amazon.
Here’s an interesting comment near the top of the thread:
Though I feel a little guilty that I posted a review without having read the book, I did so, encouraging people to read it for themselves and not to trust the freepers.
Probably a lie. You have to have a conscience in order to feel guilty.
[Hat tip to IMAO reader Iowa GI pointing out the Kos post]
Another Word on Awards
I was going to write some of this in the comments to the previous two posts, but comments don’t seem to be working right now for some reason.
Anyway, if I only hadn’t voted for Iowahawk myself and convinced someone else not to vote, I could have legitimately tied for third in the Warblogger Awards.
Oh well; we have a chance in the Weblog Awards now (as long as James Taranto doesn’t screw us over on a whim like last year). Problem is, now is a bad time for judging IMAO. I’m too busy to blog this month (I plan to have out one investigative report before I leave tomorrow night for my wedding), and the podcast is on hiatus until Janurary. That leaves everything in the hands of my incompetent co-bloggers.
Anyhoo, vote for us as funniest blog and best podcast. That’s the only way to be an honorable ronin.
Speaking Of Awards…
Umm… there’s also the Weblog Awards: Where we are nominated for something called Best Podcast.
And also something called Best Humor/Comics Blog
Yay!
Oh no. Not Awards Season again!
Right Wing News has announced the Fourth Annual Warblogger Awards.
Let’s see… IMAO got 10 votes for funniest blog, giving it an honorable mention. And as Frank always says… something…. honorable something… Ronin.
Since I’m a loyal servant of Frank (until the contract runs out in 2011… nobody said all Jews were good with legal stuff), I guess I can give him the four votes from poor deluded saps who voted for some crapy site I write on my own.
That gives IMAO a total of 14 votes for funniest blog.
Still second place.
DAMN YOU, SCRAPPLEFACE!