Can an agnostic truly and definitively know, without a shadow of a doubt that they indeed are actually an agnostic?
If not, would that make them instead a skeptic?
I’m not so sure.
Archive of entries posted on 12th December 2005
Time to Die Now Tookie
Now you can be asking Jesus if children’s books make up for murder.
I’m thinking that answer is “No.”
At one past midnight, Tookie Williams will be beaten to death with baseball bats. In a recent 6 to 3 Supreme Court ruling, it was concluded that death by baseball bats is cruel, but baseball bats being used as clubs is quite usual, so the penalty does not violate the Eighth Amendment since it is not cruel and unusual.
Fun with the Pereiras
Deciding that it cost a lot to pay for car parking when flying out of Orlando, we made some friends in the area to keep our car for us for free (we met them at the blogger screening of Serenity – coming soon to DVD). They kept my Hyundai Santa Fe on their driveway while we were in Fort Worth and said they didn’t drive it at all. Then we just had to call them yesterday when we were about to arrive.
Free parking; yay!
BTW, here are some pictures from when Sarah and I went to MGM Studios and Epcot with the Pereiras recently. You can see the “holiday” tree mentioned in a previous post. My favorite picture is of us on the Epcot Test Track, though (one of those “candid” shots the ride tries to sell to you… and succeeded in this case).
France the Civilized
Well, we’re back to the days of car bombings in Beirut.
So, what does this prove? Why, it proves the civilizing power of France!
After all, in France, Muslim rioters were setting fires to parked cars and buildings, but avoiding actually killing anyone.
But in Beirut, they weren’t even patient enough to wait for these guys to get out of their cars before blowing them to Kingdom Come.
Everything else aside, it shows how civilized French society is. Whether or not you’ve integrated yourselves into it, you’re still bound to get a little bit of it on you.
Three cheers for France!
An Inspirational Kids Book
I’ve accomplished a lot of things in my life. I’ve gotten married, I’ve had kids — well, not me, I mean my wife, and I’ve even managed to hold down a job. But sometimes these accomplishments seem so hollow. Why? Because I haven’t been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Sure, I’ve never been a murderous thug, but that’s only an unofficial requirement.
Having watched the news, it seems that there’s a death row inmate here in California who not only was nominated — but he also wrote a kids book.
This is inspirational. I’ve always wanted to write a kids book to help inspire all those young eager minds — and to make lots and lots of money.
However, it seems that most publishers want to see some sort of “draft” before they’ll fork over any dough! Don’t they know who I am? Every day I hold Frank J’s Coat!!
So it is with sincere pleasure that I now share my latest entry into the exciting world of Children’s books.
Give Me Your Money, By RWD. Retail Price $6.95
Once upon a time, there was a sweet, and gentle gangbanger. His friends called him Killer K. One day Killer K said, “I’m Hungry.” His friends laughed at him. So he shot them.
Some other friends looked on this and said, “Killer, if you had a job, then you would have money. Then you could have all the food you want.”
Killer K thought about this. People were always telling him to learn a skill, take his life seriously, and become a productive member of society. “Get a job?” he said. “That’s racist.”
So Killer K did the next best thing. He robbed a bank.
The bank robbery went perfect. Except for killing a few people, and getting caught. But the bank had free breath mints, so Killer wasn’t so hungry. The next day, the true story was all over the newspapers. He was sent to jail despite pleadings from overweight ministers saying that Killer K was the true victim.
Killer K said, “Now that I’m in prison, I’ll have all the things I need.”
His lawyers said that he should put himself into one of the many wonderful prison rehab programs. These programs trained prisoners in important job skills.
Sadly, all of the positions that were available were too far beneath a convicted felon.
So Killer K thought, “This is a horrible way to live. This makes me want to kill even MORE people.” Then he changed his mind and said, “I should write a book. A book that will inspire children everywhere.” He sat down with his lawyers and thought about different titles.
The book was a huge success. It sold over three HUNDRED copies. In some cities, there were some people who had actually read it!! With this important accomplishment under his belt — Killer K was ready to ask the world for forgiveness. Sadly, the world was not ready to forgive. Probably because they were racist. So he got some friends together to help him ask for help.
Now the whole word knew what was happening! This made Killer K very happy. What will happen to Killer K? I’m sorry, you’ll have to buy the next book.
$6.95 at your local retailer.
**
What do you think? Sure, it’s a bit rough around the edges, and I haven’t quite worked out the ending although I’ll probably have one tonight by midnight.
The Married Man Is in the Hizouse!
Guess who’s back, very tired, and has an extremely busy week ahead of him before he can go on his honeymoon cruise?
Give you a hint. Name starts in an F and ends in a J.
I just found out yesterday I need a copy a certified copy of my birth certificate or they won’t let my on the cruise, so I’m scrambling to get a new one sent to me express while at the same time trying to find what happened to the old one.
Anyhoo, I’m not going to go full details of the wedding right now, but one of my biggest disappointments was that I barely got to talk to Kevin (a.k.a. cadet happy, a.k.a. sirkisser, a.k.a. mud shoelace, a.k.a. that guy who always photoshops me to look gay, a.k.a. beardo lawyer) and his daughter at all, but he was kind enough to already have up a great photo round up. I also got to meet the blogger formerly known as Spoons and his wife, the first documented blogger marriage. It’s cool how many people can find smart and pretty wives through blogging.
It was a great wedding, and my only regret was that the DJ (a marine, incidentally) did not have “I am the Walrus” on his Karaoke list (I sang “One Week” for my solo; how could I resist a song that mentions both Aquaman and samurai?). Also, it should be noted that Kris (iowsoccermom) has a great voice along with piano skills (check her site for pictures from the rehersal dinner). Sarah and her should form a band.
Speaking of Sarahs, my Silly Sister Sarah was never anything near overweight, but now she’s even thinner – like Calista Flockhart thin. She is available, BTW, so applications to date her can be sent so me. Those found lacking will be beaten within an inch of their lives for looking at my little sister.
Before I have my two week honeymoon, I’ll try to catch up on current events and do a little blogging this week. Then, in January, expect me and the rest of IMAO to be back in full force like never before.
BTW, is there anything better than marital sex?