Just One Little Tweak

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
The Patriot Act is coming up for renewal, and although it already contains many helpful tools for assisting law enforcement personnel – like the right to root around in your sock drawer without a warrant to see if you have a copy of “Bouncy Burkha Bondage Babes” magazine (as all terrorists do) – the law is lacking in civilian education programs.
Let’s face it. Cops can’t be everywhere (unless you’re making an illegal U-turn), so it’s important that EVERYONE knows how to spot a terrorist. Especially children, since they have keen eyes and big, tattling mouths. That’s why I think the Patriot Act should include funding for printing up a fun and colorful – yet instructive – pamphlet to help people practice spotting Islamofascist deviltry.
In the extended entry, you’ll find a sample page from “Where’s Osama?”…

Continue reading ‘Just One Little Tweak’ »

Was the Holocaust a myth?

As IMAO’s Official Token Jew™, I’ve been asked to comment on the declaration by Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that the Holocaust was a myth exploited by Jews to steal land from Muslims…

Continue reading ‘Was the Holocaust a myth?’ »

Let’s Question People’s Patriotism

It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means: it’s means it’s time to question people’s patriotism.
Liberals are always saying that conservative are questioning their patriotism when we attack their moronic ideas, but I wonder why we don’t just go out and attack their lack of patriotism outright. It seems like a fun idea long overdue.
Today, I’m going to question the patriotism of John Kerry. He recently claimed that American soldiers are going into Iraqi homes in the dead of night and terrorizing kids and children. I don’t care what his past service was; he now seems happy to undermine our troops if he thinks it helps his non-existent chance at being elected President in 2008. He obviously cares nothing for this country or the men and women who put their lives on the line for it, so consider his patriotism questioned, that traitor.
Question other people’s patriotism in the comments. You can’t question my patriotism, though, as I have a picture of an American flag somewhere on this site.

I Got Your Purple Finger Right Here!

An Iraqi voter has a message for the moonbats.

When the Commisar Called Them “Leftards,” I Didn’t Think They Were Literally Retarded

I don’t know how much you check out the nuttier left-wing sites, but many of the muckadoos are all a flutter over Bush supposedly saying that 30,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed. A number of news sources even had headlines saying, “Bush says 30,000 Iraqi civilians dead in war.” But Greyhawk pointed out that the actual exchange is this:

Q Since the inception of the Iraqi war, I’d like to know the approximate total of Iraqis who have been killed. And by Iraqis I include civilians, military, police, insurgents, translators.
THE PRESIDENT: How many Iraqi citizens have died in this war? I would say 30,000, more or less, have died as a result of the initial incursion and the ongoing violence against Iraqis. We’ve lost about 2,140 of our own troops in Iraq.

Some newspapers when called on it have now changed their headlines, but the urban legend will probably live on (on DU, they were angry at Bush for not admitting more civilians were killed).
Now, I had my fun with TBogg yesterday and was going to leave it at that, but I began to wonder what makes a TBogg tick. Thus, I checked out his posts today. In one, he tries to take Greyhawk to task in this already lost battle, TBogg saying that the original headlines were correct. Why does TBogg think this? Because, apparently, TBogg doesn’t understand the differences between the word “civilian” and “citizen.” Now I’m feeling bad because I realize that yesterday I was making fun of retarded people. I guess I could try and make up for it by explaining how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares to help them understand, but I fear references to geometry would just confuse them further.
I think the original goal of cheering up TBogg was a good one, because the people over there seem very angry and confused. They might even bite. So, how does one cheer up a leftwing nut? I was thinking you could put on a chimp mask and say, “I’m Resident Bush!” and that would make them laugh, clap, and giggle at how clever that is. Put other ideas for cheering up lefties in the comments.
UPDATE: This is so moronic and TBogg left himself so open, that it almost seems like its a trap. Anyone think its a trap? Maybe I should have sent spacemonkey in to make fun of his post first…

Yay! CoC Reminder Time!!!! W00T!

Carnival of Comedy Schedule:
Dec 15 – Right Wing Testimonial
Dec 22 – Cadet Happy
Dec 29 – Motopolitico
Want to enter? Go here, or here.