As IMAO’s Official Token Jew™, I’ve been asked to comment on the declaration by Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that the Holocaust was a myth exploited by Jews to steal land from Muslims…
sigh He’s right. Guilty as charged.
Sorry, everyone.
You see, the truth of the whole matter is that Holocaust was nothing but a big game of tag gone horribly, horribly wrong. It started off friendly, then it got a little rough, and the next thing you know, everybody’s wearing grey and white pajamas starving to death.
Ever wonder why there’s “no tagbacks” in tag? Well, now you know.
By the time we got things straightened out, well, the firebombing of Dresden and other German cities killed not just tens of thousands of innocent German civilians, but millions.
The so-called concentration camps were really just recovery retreats for the survivors of the imperialist bombing of the innocent citizens of the Third Reich. However, due to Allied bombing runs of supply trains carrying tons and tons of food and toys and medicine to the recovery retreats, things went from worse to crazy-worse.
When the German guards fled the camps, a few guys put their heads together and found a way to screw the Muslims over big time. If only they’d have plotted to get some land with oil instead of making Moses’ mistake all over again.
As for the tattoos, well, those just wash off. The next time you see an octogenarian with a number on their wrist walking down the street, just grab their hand and scrub the number off with a moist towelette.
No, really. Go ahead and try it. Our elders love it the look on your faces when the ink runs and fades.
All those museums all around the world? Bah. Just Zionist Conspiracy Meeting Halls. It’s not like you goyishe bastards ever go inside them.
First!!!
TO all the Holocaust deniers out there. Allow me to introduce my father…
Sgt. Phil B, 3rd Army USAR ETO. Sent through Dachau May 1, 1945 to bear witness to what happened. He never forgot and never let his children forget. And now we are teaching his grand children to never forget.
PS
We are Irish Catholic, not Jewish.
“If Iran wants nuclear weapons, I say let them have them. Special Delivery care of the USAF and USN”
When do we allow Israel the ability to make Iran a field of beaded glass????
Why does Israel need our permission?
Just askin’…
I love glass beads. They’re so sparkly and shiny.
Oh my goodness, if the Holocaust was just a game of Tag gone wrong, I can’t help but shudder what would have happened if they had been playing “Redlight/Greenlight”…or even worse…”SIMON SAYS!!!!”
Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad is a dead man walking or my name ain’t Bullseye!
“Oh my goodness, if the Holocaust was just a game of Tag gone wrong, I can’t help but shudder what would have happened if they had been playing “Redlight/Greenlight”…or even worse…”SIMON SAYS!!!!””
That’s some dangerous thinking there! Are we sure it wasn’t Freeze Tag? Someone was probably yelling ‘no electricity’ a bit too much, which would explain the power outages.
What’s this mythical place called “Iran” that everyone is talking about? Sounds scary! Like it needs an ICBM or two to clear the cobwebs away.
MtnSt8
I think the real question is, how did Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stumble upon the zionist conspiracy? Or was it pure dumb luck? Or better yet, he figures if he throws out 1,000 loony charges, one of them is bound to be true 🙂
I think he’s just mad because Hitler thought of it first.
God bless you, Ned B. You and yours are a few of the many, many reasons that we Joos call America “malchut shel chesed.”
My recently deceased uncle by marriage, Toby Kaminsky, was a survivor of Auschwitz. I wish he had come clean with me about the tag thing.
hey, i went inside the Holocaust museum in Jerusalem! that’s gotta count for at least 2 visits!
Those pesky joooooos just keep fooling us with stuff like this! I’m just glad we have countries like Iran to set us straight! More good stuff from the “Religion of Peace”…
I can’t believe I got snookered again–I mean first I fall for that whole thing about “we landed on the moon” and that turns out to be a farce, and now the holocaust turns out to be just a game with 5 million players?…Who won anyway?
zee? I vas right!
Der Furher
7th level of Hell
As I have long suspected. All this AND you make gentiles pay retail!! (PS- if I were you, I’d try to get Israel moved to the pacific somewhere. Too many europeans in europe…)
Drat, our secret is out.
Fortunately it also turns out that “Tehran” has ALWAYS been a big glowing radioactive pit in the ground. There never was any nation called “Iran”, who makes up this stuff, everyone knows the country in that area was called Persia and hasn’t existed for centuries. It’s all a conspiracy.
Any claims at some point in the future that Isreal or the United States used nuclear weapons to destroy “Tehran” in “Iran” are obvious nonsense.
“When do we allow Israel the ability to make Iran a field of beaded glass????”
Iran really doesn’t need our permission to provide this service.
Ahhhhhh! I should proof before I post. It should have read:
Israel really doesn’t need our permission to provide this service.
K
Keep flapping your lips Ahmadinejad. Israel is going to do the same thing to your “peaceful” nuclear program that they did to Saddam’s, and we won’t even let the U.N. issue a resolution criticizing them for it. (The U.N.: “FEAR our NON-BINDING resolutions!!!”)
I just hope you’re in the building when Israel strikes. Then we can cover it up by saying “There was never a Ahmadinejad! He was just a myth created by an Iranian conspiracy group! Do you think a REAL human would deny the holocaust? Silly people….”
U.S. to Iran: (Laurence)Simon says ” Eat Pork and die Motherf***ers!”
I missed the part WHY we stole the Palestinian’s real estate because the Germans were bad people. Why isn’t Israel in Westphalia???