There’s some indication that President Bush may be gearing up to attack Iran since he doesn’t think any of his successors will handle it. It could just be a wild rumor, but I think it’s a cool idea. It’s time President Bush focuses on the one thing he has going for him: His approval ratings are so low he can essentially ignore the public’s opinion. That’s true freedom, and he might as well run with it.
FRANK IDEAS FOR PRESIDENT BUSH NOW THAT HE NO LONGER HAS TO WORRY ABOUT PUBLIC OPINION
* Next time Congress doesn’t pass a bill he wants, burn down the Capitol.
* Doesn’t like a country’s attitude? Beat up their ambassador and ship him back to his country in a nailed shut wooden crate.
* Plan and execute an elaborate casino heist.
* Scalp John Edwards.
* Like Disney World, every day at the White House ends with fireworks.
* Announce that, after careful consideration, you’ve ordered air strikes on Latveria. Sit back and watch the confusion.
* By executive order, all restaurants, convenience stores, and school cafeterias must serve nachos.
* Move Department of Defense resources to building a real-life transformer. Demand it makes “that sound” when it transforms.
* Randomly announce a day to be the holiday “Bush Day.” Demand that for the day all TV stations must play Red Dawn in a continuous loop.
* Invite journalists to check out the conditions at Gitmo and then lock them inside as prisoners.
* Give the national anthem a techno beat.
* Start a new war. When the press demands comments, have Tony Snow tell them that you’re “too busy eating pie.”
What you’re describing is a President Bush with a 68% approval rating.
Latveria, isn’t that where Dr. Doom lives?
On another note, I can’t tell if the following is a serious column or lame satire. Help!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19762038/site/newsweek/
Hold a press conference then point to Helen Thomas but instead of asking a question, because no one watching it on TV will know any different, wave his hand in front of his face while he grimaces and ask…’Jeeeeze Helen! Was that you? Man, check for bones!’
Find the fattest intern and start having oral sex with her in the oval office.
No wait, that would just be incredibly stupid.
I’ve been saying this for months. Unfortunately, the one the Pres opted for wasn’t on your list:
“Flying in the face of your base, bipartisan public opinion, and reason itself, support massive amnesty for millions of illegal aliens, but tell everybody it’s not amnesty. Then impinge their patriotism when they call you on it.”
I really wish he would have gone for the journalists-in-Gitmo option instead.
Invite Congress to a picnic, then have them dumped in Okeefenokee Swamp for the festivities.
Journalists at Gitmo=Genius!!!
However, I would rather declare war on Mexico!
Love the catapault idea too!
Give away cigars to Congress laced with arsenic. Walk into Congress on a busy day and sprinkle Holy Water on San Fran Nan to watch her melt over CSPAN.