As the Bush Administration nears the end of its natural term, I can only assume they’re currently preparing to round up the Kwazy Kos Kids into camps the day President Bush announces his refusal to leave office. What activities should they have at the camp? Here’s some of my ideas:
* Canoing
* Wallet making
* Nature hikes
* Sing-a-longs
* Electrocution
What do you think?
Surfing and waterboarding. It’s a two-for-one deal!
Wakeboarding on Tuesdays, waterboarding on Thursdays
You beat me by two minutes, Abigail!!!
Drat! Foiled again!
Guess-the-gender-of-the-thing-you’re-kissing contest.
Hey, they’re open minded…
Foil hat making for the sock hop/gift exchange with the Ronulan camp across the lake.
Harry Reid’s SUV rides across the nature trail.
Michael Moore’s brownie making class.
Sweatshop Cartooning
Where do ya think Bloom County originated?
Drinking Kool-Aid.
Cutting holes in their fence to allow illegals in. After all, SOMEONE’S got to make their bunks and cook their chow and do all the jobs that Americans just won’t do.
Going Snipe negotiating.
Human Shields to protect Isreali civillians from attack.
Organ donation
Toiling in the sugar mines of our new insect overlords.
Towed dirt-skiing
Blindfolded horseshoe goalkeeping
Javelin catching
Dry creek cliff-diving
Abu Garib style man-pile topped by Michael Moore
Hours and hours and hours of alternating speeches by Hillary then Gore then Kerry then Hillary then Gore then Kerry then Hillary then Gore then Kerry then Hillary then Gore then Kerry then Hillary then Gore then Kerry
Laundry duty hand scrubbing Rosie’s boxer short
Bill Clinton intern tryouts…”can you say d-o-u-g-hnut?”
Impromptu music concert to save the earth. Fly in Al Gore and musicians in private jets.
Classes on how to avoid bathing.
“Free” first aid stations. (There is a $5000 surcharge in the form of a tax for admission)
Hug-a-Jihadist day.
An all-time favorite: Grab a stick and beat bush marathon.
How could I possibly hope to top Ringmaster’s post? I won’t even try.
Stilt walking.
“Classes on how to avoid bathing.”
The Kwazy Kos Kids will be giving these classes…..
I don’t know about activities, but the first aid should be provided by British NHS.
“Yeah, it looks like that leg is broken. We can get that set up for you… uh, Thursday week? No, wait, that’s booked solid. Just don’t call us, we’ll call you.”
“Pass the Paddle” electroshock Therapy treatments.
You can’t forget the tie-dye t-shirt thing! What fun! They can be worn by the campers and the extras can be sold to help support the war on terror. I’m sure the chemicals used in the proccess won’t cause blindness/paralysis/death…much.
Hunting & gun safety with camp counselor Cheney.
The Annual Anvil Swim
Kool Aid Drinking Contests
Arts & Crafts: Sock Puppet Construction with Glenn Greenwald
Arts & Crafts: Broom Making with San Fran Nan
Bareback Riding with Barney Frank
Pin the Tail on the Sheehan
Raking the Wrinkles from Helen Thomas’ Face
Baking Michael Moore’s Brownies
Ninja-certified Obstacle Course
Sticky Pine Climbing Contests
Angry White Male Castration Contest, hosted by John Edwards
Pin the Harpoon on Rosie O’Donnell
Deep Penetrating Analysis and Group Participation “Unlocking Your Inner Gay” with America’s Sweetheart, Barney Frank.
Hair primping lessons from John Edwards and Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. For those not from Illinois, Blago pulled an Edwards and flew in a makeup and hair stylist from Chicago before his State of the State address in Springfield last January. It cost taxpayers $600. He also had a State Trooper/Bodyguard who did little but carry Blago’s hairbrush.
Lessons from Hillary on choosing the right carpet.
Medal-throwing contest with John Kerry.
Lessons from Michael Moore on how to blame Bush for World Wars I & II, the Bolshevik Revolution, the collapse of the Roman Empire and the heartbreak of psioriasis.
Vivisection (as the experimental subject)
Slow, excruciatingly painful suicide methods (with final project)
Dodging high-velocity ammunition
Unshielded plutonium pellet juggling
Crash test dummy in hybrid vs. fuel truck head-on collision testing
Advanced training for Russian Roulette utilizing a semi-auto 1911?
Food tasting the local mushrooms.
Driver’s ed with your host Ted Kennedy.
Roll your own Poison Ivy smokes.
“Electrocution” isn’t environmentally friendly, but I don’t see how anyone could complain about “rope swing”.