John Edwards knows what to do when a guy reaches his hand under the stall wall. Bonus Fact from Chris:
What do John Edwards and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded in the rear and go ‘WOO WOO!’
What do you call Edwards and his law partners skydiving from an airplane? Skeet!
John Edwards wants to show off his dog against two others owned by an accountant and an architect.
First one up is the accountant. He picks up 6 sticks and says “balance sheet” fetch! Balance Sheet runs out, grabs the six sticks, brings them back and lines them up 1 stick, 2 sticks and 3 sticks.
The Architect is next. He throws out 12 sticks and says “Slide Rule” fetch. Slide Rule runs out, grabs the 12 sticks brings them back and builds a perfect pyramid.
John Edwards is next. He throws one stick out and says “Expense Account” fetch! Expense account runs out…buries the stick, comes back, screws the other two dogs and takes the rest of the day off…
John Edwards has not been in a men’s room in decades. His security detail always clears out the ladies’ room when he needs to powder his nose. When asked about this practice, he said, “Ew, just, you know, ew.”
All of this talk is really too much. The insinuations that Mr. Edwards carries out acts of homosexual perversion must stop. John Edwards is not gay. How many times does he have to thay it?
Any one who feels they have to prove that they have a normal functioning physical relationship with their spouse has serious perception issues.
This isn’t the first presidential candidate to have this problem. Who could forget the Gore Grope and Gobble?
Darn now I’ll have to wash my brain out with bleach again.
Hi everyone. Since I’ll be giggling about Chris’ Edwards fact for the rest of the day (not that Frank’s wasn’t good as always), now’s as good a time as any to make myself known.
I stumbled across your site a few months ago and been checking it out several times a day ever since…does that make my addiction official? Seriously, combining a humor AND conservative site is just brilliant; we need more laughter these days and I’ve enjoyed reading the comments as much as the content…I think that’s rare for a blog. There’s still a lot more areas here I have yet to check out, but all in due time.
P.S. I’m also pleasantly surprised, and hopeful for the country, that so many of the conservatives here are youngsters (yes, 20-something is a youngster). 😎
It is a fact that John “Peachcroft” Edwards is able to use hair gel as a very effective and lethal offensive weapon.
Oncet, on a dare, he used an experimental military-grade hair gel to stiffen, then sharpen his bangs razor sharp, then launched himself at Teresa HeinzCatsup Kerry’s neck, decapitating and killing her.
To avoid negative publicity, the incident was hushed up, and even kept from John Kerry for several days. Kerry was visibly “quite put out” when the facts of the matter were revealed, according to “his aides”.
(according to Bob “perfect losing record in 12 elections” Shrum)
John Edwards knows what to do when a guy reaches his hand under the stall wall.
What do you call Edwards and his law partners skydiving from an airplane? Skeet!
John Edwards wants to show off his dog against two others owned by an accountant and an architect.
First one up is the accountant. He picks up 6 sticks and says “balance sheet” fetch! Balance Sheet runs out, grabs the six sticks, brings them back and lines them up 1 stick, 2 sticks and 3 sticks.
The Architect is next. He throws out 12 sticks and says “Slide Rule” fetch. Slide Rule runs out, grabs the 12 sticks brings them back and builds a perfect pyramid.
John Edwards is next. He throws one stick out and says “Expense Account” fetch! Expense account runs out…buries the stick, comes back, screws the other two dogs and takes the rest of the day off…
John Edwards must vet his propective stall stags. Lovers of mexican food tend to give him heartburn.
John Edwards has not been in a men’s room in decades. His security detail always clears out the ladies’ room when he needs to powder his nose. When asked about this practice, he said, “Ew, just, you know, ew.”
AAAAAAA!!!
Is that one legal?!
Chris gets the hi-5 today. That was great!
I’m not sayin John Edwards is gay, but he’s been known to guess the flavor of a popsicle just by sittin on it.
John Edwards never backs away from a fight. If we’re not careful, he’ll come here, bear down on us and stick his nose into our business.
All of this talk is really too much. The insinuations that Mr. Edwards carries out acts of homosexual perversion must stop. John Edwards is not gay. How many times does he have to thay it?
You mean he has a lithp, instead? That thays it all. I think he hath the other thing, thoo.
Any one who feels they have to prove that they have a normal functioning physical relationship with their spouse has serious perception issues.
This isn’t the first presidential candidate to have this problem. Who could forget the Gore Grope and Gobble?
Darn now I’ll have to wash my brain out with bleach again.
Hi everyone. Since I’ll be giggling about Chris’ Edwards fact for the rest of the day (not that Frank’s wasn’t good as always), now’s as good a time as any to make myself known.
I stumbled across your site a few months ago and been checking it out several times a day ever since…does that make my addiction official? Seriously, combining a humor AND conservative site is just brilliant; we need more laughter these days and I’ve enjoyed reading the comments as much as the content…I think that’s rare for a blog. There’s still a lot more areas here I have yet to check out, but all in due time.
P.S. I’m also pleasantly surprised, and hopeful for the country, that so many of the conservatives here are youngsters (yes, 20-something is a youngster). 😎
Harvey, you are a bad, bad man. Mheh.
It is a fact that John “Peachcroft” Edwards is able to use hair gel as a very effective and lethal offensive weapon.
Oncet, on a dare, he used an experimental military-grade hair gel to stiffen, then sharpen his bangs razor sharp, then launched himself at Teresa HeinzCatsup Kerry’s neck, decapitating and killing her.
To avoid negative publicity, the incident was hushed up, and even kept from John Kerry for several days. Kerry was visibly “quite put out” when the facts of the matter were revealed, according to “his aides”.
(according to Bob “perfect losing record in 12 elections” Shrum)