Ronin Profiles Returns Monday

Sorry, Ronin Profiles got canceled today because of car trouble. It will return Monday.

Osama’s New Video *UPDATED* *AGAIN*

Since Bush is pretty much a lame duck (just not lamer than the Democratic Congress), why doesn’t he respond to Osama’s taped threats by going into the White House basement and taping threats of his own saying he will destroy all those who insult America? It would make him relevant again, because, hey, he just might do it (I hear he has nukes).
BTW, apparently Osama, with his newly dyed beard, is joining the nutroots in criticizing the Democrats for not ending the Iraq War. Those guys should really pool their resources.
UPDATE:
In the video, apparently Osama chastises the Democrats for not ending the war — the thing they were elected to do, rants against “neoconservatives,” praises Noam Chomsky, and talks about global warming and the Kyoto treaty.
Kos has to get this guy as a diarist before HuffPo does.
UPDATE 2:
Full transcript is here. Still reading it, but Osama really doesn’t like Rumsfeld and seems to agree with the left that he should be tried for war crimes.
UPDATE 3:
Read it all. Osama basically says those who claim this is “Bush’s war” are as innocent in this as he is innocent in 9/11 (i.e., not at all). He points to the election and failure of the Democrats as proof democracy doesn’t work (maybe he has a point there), he rants about corporations like some Naderite, says how bad things are for our troops to basically urge us to “support the troops by bringing them home,” says “no red blood for black oil,” and has the usual crap about how we should all convert to Islam despite how sucky Islamic countries are. He even makes a conservative argument for it by arguing how Islam has low low taxes (only 2.5%!).
Oh, and the the new French president, Sarkozy, gets an angry mention. Welcome to the fold! There’s hope for the French yet!
UPDATE 4:
What I don’t get from the video is what exactly was the reaction he was hoping from 9/11 since apparently the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq weren’t it.
UPDATE 5:
I should also note that Osama is not a Truther since he sounds pretty sure he’s responsible for 9/11. Someone should ask him about WTC 7.
BTW, his beard might be fake. Here’s what Exurban League believes an unshaven Osama might look like. IMAO came up with a different result for an unshaven Osama based on image and rhetoric analysis…

Continue reading ‘Osama’s New Video *UPDATED* *AGAIN*’ »

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards’s haircuts cost $400 because he has to buy enough carbon offsets to cancel out trucking in a sufficient supply of hairspray.
[collaborative hat tip: John of Johnalism]
Bonus Fact from AlanABQ:
Once long ago, a Monarch butterfly landed on John Edwards’ arm & gave him such a severe sub-dermal hematoma, that for years he couldn’t go frolicking through the daisies without being mortified by the sight of ANY butterfly.

Comments Encouraged

As some of you know, I write at a new blog called the Daily Jalapeno. My latest post, Dennis Kucinich Blesses Syria With His Presence, has been linked to by a We Love Dennis site.
No, that’s not a joke. They really do exist. I don’t know why, personally I blame lead based paint and incest.
Anyway, since I’m about to get overwhelmed with hate comments, I would ask that you visit the site and post comments on the positive side. On the plus side, it’s nice to finally be getting hate mail/comments. I was starting to feel like nobody cared.
Dr. Duck answers will be posted on Monday, BTW.

Ron Paul News

I haven’t bothered posting anything about Ron Paul in a while, but Ron Paul is always fun to talk about. Anyway, here is lolrons. Also, here’s a story of someone getting his web host bothered at home because he left Ron Paul off a poll. Those Ronulans and their lack of common sense and social skills — aren’t they wacky? It’s like they want everyone to despise them. I bet when they finally have some debates going without the Ron Paul sideshow, the Ronulans will try and interrupt it somehow. And then Fred Thompson will smite them. That will be entertaining TV.
(hat tip Conservative Grapevine)

But What Should We Call It?

Rumor has it that Osama is releasing another “taunt America” video in the next few days. Pretty impressive work for a guy who’s been a crimson stain on a Tora Bora cave wall since 2001. But regardless of which malnourished wino they slap the fake beard on this time around, the fact remains that this flick needs a catchy title. I suggest one of the following:


  • Citizen Osama
  • Osamablanca
  • Osama’s List
  • It’s an Osamaful Life
  • One Flew Over Osama’s Nest
  • The Maltese Osama
  • Osama Like it Hot
  • O.T. The Osama-Terrestrial
  • Dr. Osamalove
  • Osamalypse Now
  • Osama Side Story
  • A Streetcar Named Osama
  • Snowsama White and the Seven Dwarves
  • A Clockwork Osama
  • The Sound of Osama
  • Osama Without a Cause
  • Raiders of the Lost Osama
  • Vertigosama
  • Close Encounters of the Osama Kind
  • The Silence of the Osamas
  • Osama Gump
  • Dances With Osamas
  • Mutiny on the Osama
  • Osama Rider
  • My Fair Osama
  • Osamafellas
  • Osama Fiction
  • Guess Osama’s Coming to Dinner?
  • Osama Doodle Dandy
  • Osamadeus

Double dog dare ya to come up with something better.

Dwight Schrute!

Saw this on The Office Season 3 DVD and had to find it on YouTube to share it… because we’ve all been Dwight at times:

BTW, if you like the series, the DVDs are definitely worth getting because they have hours and hours of deleted scenes. It’s like they originally make each episode with no intention of it fitting within a half hour time constraint (sometimes it looks like they were aiming for an hour) and then just cut it all down in post. Since most of the deleted scenes look like they were only cut because of time constraint (plus the series reportedly considers deleted scenes to be canon) it would be nice if the DVDs offered an extended cut of each episode.

IMAO Condensed: Fred Thompson

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson’s plan to reduce health care costs is to spend more time warning people not to make him angry.