Links of the Day

I’ve been slack on In My World’s lately, but Extreme Mortman has a good way to say goodbye to Tony Snow: Top Ten Tony Snow Exchanges With Helen Thomas (the exchange ranked number one is classic)
Mary Katharine Ham has a great video well worth watch (unlike all her other stupid videos) of finding the real truth from people at Ground Zero on the anniversary while Twoofers are shouting in the background. I infer from some of the exchanges that the Twoofers have a B.O. problem. How surprising.
Right Wing News has the top 75 right of center website based on Alexa ratings, and IMAO makes the cut. I’ve noticed that IMAO’s Alexa rating has gone significantly down in the past years despite not having a loss in traffic, but I installed an Alexa toolbar on my browser and now IMAO is climbing back up (and SarahK’s site has seen a huge rank increase too). I’m sure how much I trust Alexa as an objective measure. I’m pretty sure if you all get Alexa bars too, IMAO should go even higher and then… well, I’m not sure what that accomplishes.
Oh yeah… bragging rights! (the best kind of rights)

They Just Keep Getting Dumber

At Daily Kos, they now say the Bush administration has killed over 1.2 million Iraqis, twice that of the last over the top estimate. How do they know? From a poll! Of course, lots of dead people couldn’t answer the poll, and if you factor that in, the dead goes up to a million billion.
They call some of us “chickenhawks” because we support the troops and the war without fighting, but what’s the term for these little nitwits sitting in their parents’ basements thinking they know so much more about the war than our generals and believe they have any standing to the question the patriotism of those serving? I think you call them “chicken@#$%.”

Ronin Profile: Francesco Poli

Francesco Poli

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Francesco Poli.


What’s the story behind your name? My mother took one look at my face when I was born, and said “Oh, he looks like a Francesco!” This sounds less weird when you remember that this happened in Italy. Interestingly enough, Francesco is a variation of Franco, which is italian for Frank. Unfortunately, both seem to be related to France.
[That’s a lie and you know it! -Ed.]
Where do you live? A little town called Santa Maria Maddalena (St. Mary Magdalene), all the way across the world in Italy. It’s very near the museum-city of Ferrara, which is probably the town that has the closest contest between number of monuments and number of communists in the whole world. It’s got a castle with an actual moat, and an administration that’s deviating traffic from the once-rich city center to the outskirt mall, which is owned and run by the maf- errr, the cooperatives (which are the capitalistic branch of the communist party).
You can’t beat that.
I’m also about a two hours’ drive from Venice.
How old are you? I’m a roly-poly 27, which is just a fancy way of saying I’m fat and getting older, which is a fancy way of saying I’m becoming an even more flawless stereotype of an American conservative.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m one of the incredibly rare self-described US-style conservatives that isn’t actually a creepy libertarian or the usual leftie claiming to follow America’s example. (For crying out loud, our politicians can’t even get laid like Clinton, let alone drop taxes like Reagan.) I’m currently studying for my first University diploma, to be possibly followed by a second in the US, and after that a smoking-hot career in videogame design. Watch out for my stuff… it’s coming and you’re going to like it or else!
I’m of course a gun owner (S&W mod 686, CZ 452, Colt Government Model), and I shoot regularly so don’t piss me off just because I’m in Europe. Also in the plans: fixing that last little issue.
How long have you been reading IMAO? About three years I think.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Filthy lies. Puppy Blender™ is a narrative the level of which no liberal organization can ever aspire to invent. Plus I can’t stand dogs (CAT CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER!!), so that probably helped.
If you were to describe IMAO in three words, what would those be? Nuke The Moon. Originally I’d have gone with “fun, outrageous, surprisingly useful”, but that’s four words and Nuke the Moon conveys all that and more anyway.
What’s you favorite political issue? Politics in videogaming. It’s becoming as radicalized and leftwing as in Hollywood, and nobody on the right is doing anything. Just look at the bushitler troofer conspiracy theories in the soon-to-be-released BlackSite: Area 51 game.
http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/action/blacksite/news.html?sid=6168483
Read that and tell me that the designer doesn’t sound like a Kos Kid!
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I used to have a blog, centered mostly on videogaming and politics, but got tired of it. I still managed to piss off at least one of the ignorant wannabe analyst that plague the gaming industry with their rants ungrounded in reality and facts, and that was accomplishment enough for the time being.
What’s the biggest advantage of not being an American? Besides being able to punch anyone I meet and justify it as a valid “monkey-faced liberal punch”, and being able to get anyone I want to piss their pants simply by mentioning firearms, it’s got to be being able to look across the ocean and seeing an example for the rest of the world. With a little guts and the right ideas things can get dramatically better and fast; such a shame that Europe doesn’t have a shred of either.


If you commented in the latest post asking for participants, you’re still in the running. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far; just because you may not think you’re interesting doesn’t mean we won’t enjoy your story.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgGrunting, sweating, heavy breathing, rapid up & down motions – just John Edwards trying unsuccessfully to operate a click-top pen.

Terminally Unserious

Kos still can’t get over his Pyrrhic victory (or was a Pyrrhic loss?) in which they successfully defeated Joe Lieberman in the primary which did nothing more than give a net loss to the Democrats by making him go independent. Kos actually commissioned a poll on how people would vote now in that 2006 race — despite that fact that Lieberman isn’t next up until reelection until 2012 (the same year Fred Thompson will be up for reelection). I can just imagine Kos waking up in the middle of the night, jumping to his feet, and shaking his tiny fist while screaming, “Jooooo!” With all the serious issues we have in the world, this is the sort of thing these little wiener kids obsess on when not slandering serving generals or wishing cancer on political opponents.
Get over it, you little goober.
That these people have even the slightest influence on our government is a crime against humanity. They should all be placed in burlap sacks and thrown in a bog.

Democrats Respond to the Petraeus Report

rebuttal.JPG

If Amazon Sold Ideology

Mind-boggling:

“Let me be clear: There is no military solution in Iraq, and there never was. The best way to protect our security and to pressure Iraq’s leaders to resolve their civil war is to immediately begin to remove our combat troops,” Obama said in his speech. “Not in six months or one year — now.”

Or – to put is succinctly – “The best way to protect America from terrorist attacks is to prove to the psychopathic Muslims that we’ll quit fighting if they just hold out long enough”.
Dumbest damn thing I ever heard.
Still, there are people who’ll lap it up like a cat going after a saucer of fish guts.
Which puts me in mind of Amazon.com’s helpful feature “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought”.
So… “People Who Believe This Also Believe”:


  • Michael Moore is a pure-souled prophet who speaks truth to power, and – unlike black-hearted corporate media moguls – would ALWAYS choose integrity over revenue. Not that he’s ever had to make that choice. Which just goes to show that the system works. Except that – as he’s repeatedly shown us – the system is inverted, corrupt, and FUBAR.
  • Animals have rights because they feel pain, unless they’re screaming fetuses.
  • Being murdered by a gun leaves you more dead than being murdered by a knife, baseball bat, or socialized medicine.
  • SUV’s destroy the planet. That’s why liberals ride in limousines.
  • Patchouli is an acceptable substitute for soap.
  • People should give a damn whether you’re offended by something.
  • Nothing’s worth fighting for, except metaphorically.
  • Oral sex isn’t, really.
  • Anything you can do in the privacy of your own bedroom you should be able to flaunt in public, except prayer.
  • Free speech means that you can say whatever you want and no one is allowed to tell you what a galactic fudgepile you are for saying it.
  • Despite being a socialist trough-hog with little-to-no understanding of what makes America better than other countries, Barack Obama is eminently electable, and, indeed, is the best choice among the entire current field of viable candidates.
  • Besides, skin color should be taken into consideration when choosing the leader of the free world, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a filthy racist.

By the way, if anyone ever catches me seriously espousing ANY of the above opinions, please shoot me, because it means the brain tumor is inoperable.

Happy Birthday Not-Frank J.

As you may have noticed, there was a post today announcing a birthday that was not written by me. That’s because it’s Harvey’s birthday. He often posts here, and his posts are identical to mine except for one small detail: They’re labeled “Posted by Harvey.”


Harvey smiling as he thinks of a new funny post.

Today, let’s finally give credit to Harvey for the posts he’s written instead of giving me his credit. That could be his present. Frankly, I’m getting tired of hearing how great “my” Edwards facts are.

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson does all his own political stunts.

That Time of Year Again

It’s my birthday today.
Feel free to leave obsequious ass-kissery in the comments.

IMAO Headlines

Ever wanted to show IMAO’s newest headlines right on your very own site? Sure you have.
But until today it was prohibitively expensive and could cost millions of lives. A new day has dawned and here is a widget you can use to promote your favorite humor site.
No, I meant this one.

IMAO.US

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You are welcome.
Updated: A new smaller headliner is below the fold.

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