Comedy Central’s Indecision 2008 has a caption contest for a Fred Thompson picture. Maybe you all can come up with some good entries.
Archive of entries posted on 6th September 2007
Ronin Profiles Returns Tomorrow
I don’t put up Ronin Profiles on weekends or holidays, and today is Fredmas so it will return tomorrow. Instead, today tell me in the comments what issues you’d most like Fred Thompson to speak out on. Me, I want to see what he’ll do to finally get Hollywood to make a movie of someone unapologetically American killing tons of Islamic terrorists. I also think its too humid in Florida and would like him to do something about that.
Top Ten Bush Quotes From His Visit To Australia
Bush stopped by Australia this week to say “Howdy” to one of the few world leaders still in full possession of a spine, John Howard. Here are some quotable excerpts from his trip:
10) “Can you get me Paul Hogan’s autograph?”
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9) “What’s the deal with that big ass rock in the middle of nowhere?”
8) “Didgeridoo? Sounds more like a damn washing machine with a bad motor!”
7) “Ever notice how kangaroos look a lot like big, hairy, jumping armadillos?”
6) “Yeah, we have containers of beer this size in Texas, too, except we call them ‘shot glasses’.”
5) “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Howard. By the way, I thought you really got screwed over when you didn’t win the Best Director Oscar for Apollo 13.”
4) “Is disparaging The Boot still a Bootable offense?”
3) “Love what you’ve done with the country. Not bad for a bunch of exiled thieves & murderers.”
2) “Yeah, I was sad to see Steve Irwin died, too. On the other hand, I had him in the TBIFOC Dead Pool, so it was actually kind of a wash.
And the #1 Bush quote from his trip to Australia (see extended entry)…
Continue reading ‘Top Ten Bush Quotes From His Visit To Australia’ »
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
From an Anonymous Source
Not to steal the thunder from Harvey’s John Edwards fact today, but I’ve heard from an anonymous source that when Edwards found out that Fred Thompson had announced, he became so scared he wet his pants. He then ran into his closet to hide but lost control of a bladder and ended up peeing on all his other pants too.
This is absolutely true. My source has never been wrong.
Fred Thompson Bumper Stickers!
I’m so happy today, I made some bumper stickers!



There’s also my Fred Thompson facts t-shirt and the excellent shirt from ThoseShirts.com.
Hey, the only reason I’m such a shill for Fred Thompson merchandise is because he’s so awesome! Also, I like money.
Now I’m going to think of even more slogans…
Frank Ideas for a Fred Thompson Running Mate
While waiting for Fred Thompson inevitable nomination, we should start thinking of who is running mate should be. Here are some of my ideas:
* The Element of Fire: “Go forth and burn my enemies, VP!” This VP would also make a nice backdrop when Fred Thompson gives speeches.
* King Kong: Wouldn’t looks so diminutive when standing next to Fred Thompson as other VP choices would.
* Vengeance: America demands vengeance against our enemies, so vengeance might as well be the VP. Plus, if somehow Fred Thompson is assassinated, who takes over? Vengeance!
* A Mirror Pointed at Fred Thompson: It’s like having two Fred Thompsons!
* Mike Huckabee: He seems nice.
* His Right Uppercut: That will be great when the first reporter pesters him about his VP choice. “You want to meet my VP? He’s right here!” WHAM!
What are your ideas for a running mate?
Questions from Last Night’s Fredless Debate
Last night was the last Republican debate without Fred Thompson, making it both notable and pointless. Anyway, here’s were some of the questions asked of the candidates:
QUESTIONS FROM LAST NIGHT’S FREDLESS DEBATE
“Where’s Fred Thompson?”
“What do you think Fred Thompson is doing right now?”
“Is your biggest goal in this campaign to maybe meet and become friends with Fred Thompson?”
“Wouldn’t that be awesome?”
“Don’t you wish your wife was as hot as Fred Thompson’s?”
“When we finally have a debate with Fred Thompson, do you think he’ll rip off Ron Paul’s leg and beat him with it?”
“When that happens, do you think Ron Paul will blame the ‘neocons’?”
“Don’t you wish you were Fred Thompson?”
“Is is insulting to Fred Thompson for people like you to even think you could be like Fred Thompson?”
“Who do you think is the best X-Man? I say it’s Madrox, the Multiple Man, because he can duplicate himself and vote for Fred Thompson multiple times.”
“Who would win in a fight between Fred Thompson and Superman?”
“What if Superman and the Hulk tagged teamed against Fred Thompson?”
“Was that thunder we just heard, or do you think that was the impact of Fred Thompson announcement?”
“You guys want to end this now so we can get home in time to watch Leno? I hear Fred Thompson is on tonight.”
Happy Fredmas!
Today’s the first day of having Fred Thompson as an official candidate for the President of the United States of America. Only in a country as great as ours could we have that happen. In other countries, they have people with French names run for leadership or there are smelly bearded people who dictate who the leaders are with no elections. But we live in America, the only country where you can vote for Fred Thompson.
Today is a day to be joyful. Happy Fredmas!
Daily Fred Thompson Fact
It Has Come
You can go to Fred ’08 and see the announcement video. Tomorrow we’ll have a minute of silence during which we’ll bask in the awesomeness.
(BTW, watching him on Leno right now)
UPDATE:
Hot Air has a clip of him making it official on Leno and should have more to follow. I think he did great on the appearance (and probably got a ton more viewers than the debate).
UPDATE 2:
Here’s the Leno appearance, but definitely go to Fred ’08 and watch his announcement too.
Segment 1:
Segment 2:
BTW, I should mention there’s a cool t-shirt you could buy…