Today’s thought

I’m sick of hearing that these breakfast cereals are a part of a complete and nutritious breakfast.
Know what I’d like to see?
I’d like to see a breakfast cereal that admits that it can never be a part of a complete and nutritious breakfast because it has trust issues. You know, because it was molested by a relative when it was 8 years old, then it was passed from foster family to foster family, growing bitter and jaded.
Or a breakfast cereal that says you’ll just sit on the couch and eat it right from the box while playing Halo 3.
I’d like to create a breakfast cereal called: “I’m Too Lazy To Make Waffles For Us, How Pathetic Is That?”
The surprise in the box would be a small mirror you can look at and tell yourself “I’m a bad parent” or “I’m a kid who doesn’t deserve good things.”
Don’t mind me. I’ll just be in the breakfast bar aisle, hugging myself and sipping maple syrup from this flask.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgWhen John Edwards uses a laptop, his feet fall asleep and start to turn blue.

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson’s long term plan to secure our borders is to destroy all other countries. He destroyed two this morning using only a six iron.