Okay, so when I first started this job, the owner of the company didn’t let employees in technical support take holidays off, but then he let the business go into the crapper, and he got bought out, and the new owners started to notice the huge stack of illegal business practices going on, blah blah blah.
Now, even though I technically get holidays off, I’m supposed to ask for them off. And even though they’re supposed to approve those without question, there’s always that moment of uncomofrtable silence where you know the person with your holiday approval form is wondering “How the heck am I supposed to run the tech floor with everybody taking holidays off?” and the pressure begins.
That’s when I make up Jewish holidays. Because:
- Nobody’s going to tell a Jew to work on a Jewish holiday
- My bosses aren’t Jewish.
- None of my coworkers are Jewish.
So, Happy Festival Of Aiver Butelt! Welcome to… um…
Nowhere did I put that book about Aiver Butelt? I swear I had it right here… it was right next to my wallet and…
Now where’s my wallet?
Sheesh. Sometimes…
Anyway, I’ll be taking today off from IMAO because nobody else on this site is Jewish, most of the readership is burger-munching warmongering American (and I’m damn proud of it), and I’d like to sleep until 2 in the afternoon for once.
How long before I burn out again, eh?
Welcome back, Kotter.
I wonder how many holidays got their start in such an auspicious manner? The others all claim to be about some victory over evil, or celebration of a miracle, or the anniversary of some dead guy’s birth.
But what if they all were just made up by people who wanted the day off from the salt mines? I mean, think about it: you and I are lazy enough scumbags to lie about our religious heritage, so why do we suppose they had any more integrity that us? Work was a lot harder back then, after all, so the temptation would have been that much greater on our forebears.
Burn out again?
Isn’t today already a national recognized made up holiday?
Hey, Laurence is back! It’s a Festivus miracle!
I gotta work today… How hard is it to convert?
Another holiday? Splendid! What is it you Jews say? Oh yeah.
Slalom!
🙂
Try “El Malaguana” – from the movie Biloxi Blues.
I was wondering where you went…and you scold people for not keeping up on their deathpool blogging 😉
Are you taking tomorrow off too? It’s the feast of Maximum Occupancy.
Don’t forget to go to Moe’s to celebrate!
‘Tis the holy Feast of the Uncooked Fish Chunks, and we must all solemnly celebrate by going out for sushi.
Reminds me of the story my boss tells of a guy he used to work with, who got fired (banging the boss’ wife). But he was too valuable to the company, so they had to hire him back. When he went back, he told them he converted to Judaism. He always saw the the Jewish got their holidays off plus all the regular ones
Hey, I think I may be Jewish…. go figure…
Welcome back Lair. May burnout passover your household. I hear that you can keep the spirit of burnout from claiming you by smearing the blood of an IT manager over your door.
Damn, wrong Jewish Holiday.