Smoothness is measured on the “Edwards Scale”, with a baby’s bottom being 9 and John Edwards’s “area” being the hypothetical maximum 10. The hypothetical 0 point has never actually been attained, although some claim that either Mount Everest or Edward James Olmos’s face would qualify.
Bonus Fact from Chris:
John Edwards’ favorite spice girl… Mrs. Dash
John Edwards prefers white rice… the flavor of brown rice is too bold
John Edwards’ secret family recipe for a great cup coffee:
* 1 large mug with luke warm water
* 3 drops brown food coloring
* a whisper of powdered sugar for flavor
Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
Kellie Pickler was recently sued by the Edwards campaign for plagiarism, as all the lyrics to “Things That Never Cross a Man’s Mind“, are direct quotes from John Edwards.
Some discussion of that “John Edwards area” might be (un)called for. After the video in yesterday’s Fact, his hair might rank an “8”. The 10-spot? We “don’t want to go there.” There’s no light.
When John Edwards sings in the shower it is always: “I Left My Virginity In San Frannnnciscooooooooo.”
Speaking of rankings, #1, that “John Edwards area” might, in fact, BE rank.
Zero on the Edwards Scale – the roughest place in the known universe – has been discovered. It is the wrong end of Fred Thompson’s fist.
And about a “one” on the scale is the way IMAO commenters handle Ronulans. Merciless.
EJO’s face is 0 on the scale. Fred Thompson’s fist is -70. Hillary’s legs: -1,000,000.