For those who miss SarahK’s singing from the podcast, here is her singing “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables. She didn’t like her performance, but I thought it was great. I’m actually quite familiar with the song because my brother was really into Les Miserables and used to play the music from it all the time… oh wait; there’s that “don’t ask don’t tell” policy with the Marines. Forget I said anything.
Archive of entries posted on 22nd October 2007
Ronin Profile: dRoast
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Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s dRoast.
What’s the story behind your name? Well, it was given to me by my college friends, and is one of those stories that begins “well, we were drinking…”. Let’s just say that it involved a large quantity of adult refreshments, a steep hill, and an attempt to re-create Monty Python’s “Ministry of Silly Walks” skit at 3:00AM. At least, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Where do you live? Beautiful Lake Mills, WI. Close enough to Madison to go to the UW sporting events, but far enough away to avoid the hippies.
How old are you? 38, so old enough to know better but young enough not to care.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m a native born cheesehead, have lived my entire life in southern WI. (Go Packers!! Bears Suck!!) Went to school at the UW-Madison and actually managed to get an education without succumbing to the siren song of hippie chicks and tenured leftists. I am married to a wonderful woman, with three boys (8, 5 and 2) and am a proud gun-owning conservative capitalist, working in the financial industry to help further enrich the exploiters of the masses. I also teach business classes part time, doing my part to keep capitalism alive.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since early 2003, I think. I believe I was first directed here by one of the Puppy Blender’s comments on your Filthy Lies (which we all know were really true).
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Man, that’s a hard one. Right now it is a toss up between LOLTERIZT and Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths. I’ve always been a fan of Know Thy Enemy and Frank Answers as well.
If you were to describe IMAO in three words, what would those be? Monkey shredding infidels.
What’s your favorite political issue? Bias in the media, because it affects all of the other important issues (national security, illegal immigration, taxation, et cetera). I am a firm believer that given full information, the American citizen will make the right choices come election time. There is just such a lefty bias and lack of patriotism the media today that it is hard for the average citizen to be objectively informed. I therefore propose that all journalists who claim to be objective should have to have their stories vetted by a committee consisting of John Bolton, Donald Rumsfeld, and Buck the Marine. If bias is found, they will have one chance to amend their copy. If they fail at that, they will get tasered in the ‘nads. If that doesn’t cure them, well, I can’t be held responsible for the consequences.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I have three kids, 1.5 jobs and a house to take care of. I have no time for blogging, so I will have to count on you to keep the truth flowing. Don’t let me down, Frank!
What irrational number do you most identify with? As a conservative, I do not identify with any irrational numbers, only rational ones. People who identify with irrational numbers are usually liberals, as in “You only create more terrorists by fighting them!” So lets see, you have 10 terrorists, and you kill 9 of them, leaving one. How is that creating more? My son is in 3rd grade and he is more mathematically rational (and better groomed) than over 95% of the Kos crowd.
If you commented in the last post asking for participants, you’re still in the running. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far; just because you may not think you’re interesting doesn’t mean we won’t enjoy your story.
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
John Edwards had a cancer scare once, but his mammogram came back negative.
Bonus Fact from Jim:
When John Edwards was in college, a group decided to put on an all-male production of “Sweet Charity.”
Yes…John Edwards ran around wearing fish-nets, slit skirt, floozy blouse with a bra showing, a blonde wig, and garish make-up.
No…he wasn’t part of the production.
Chuck for Huck
Chuck Norris has endorsed Mike Huckabee for President. Could this lead to a battle between Fred Thompson and Chuck Norris? Let’s hope not for the sake of the universe which would surely be destroyed in the crossfire.
And if I were to actually consider Huck, I’d have to know what his stance is on combating monkey political assassinations. Fred Thompson position on that issue is that we must do a preemptive strike on the monkeys, killing them all before they can even think of killing us. He’s also specifies that monkeys should be killed in the most painful way possible, such as dropping them in acid or repeated stabbing to the stomach. Will Huckabee take that strong a stance? And, for that matter, how many monkeys has Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the head?
Socks: “Hillary Left Me For Dead”
WASHINGTON (AP) After nearly seven years of silence, former First Cat Socks is appearing before the media with horror stories of what it was like to live with the Clintons, including his harrowing escape from death after his owners left the White House.
Currently living in hiding with former Bill Clinton secretary Bettie Currie, Socks – now 16 – gave an interview to the London Times.
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“At first I really liked Hillary,” Socks said. “she was cold, calculating, and utterly indifferent to the feelings of others. She was like a soulmate to me. But then she changed. Every time she was angry at Bill, she took it out on me. I’ve taken to wearing my fur long just so that I can lick it over the scars from all the flying lamps.”
Some speculate that acquiring a cat was just a political move on Hillary’s part to soften her shrewish image. Socks concurs. “When the cameras were on, it was all cream & tuna, plenty of scratching behind the ears, nuzzling, cooing… she’d fuss over me like I was a Chinese campaign donor. But behind closed doors, nothing but screaming and spray bottles. And they weren’t always filled with water, either. I used to think that ‘piss & vinegar’ was just a figure of speech. Now I know better.”
Socks assumed that once his tenure as a “personality prop” ended with the Bush inauguration, he’d be set for life. “Sure, I was abused a lot, but I figured that it was just the stress of having such a high public profile. Once we were out of the White House, I thought she’d HAVE to lay off me. Maybe start beating on that professional puddle-maker, Buddy.”
His prediction was frighteningly wrong.
“About a week after we left,” said Socks, chain-smoking and looking around the room nervously, “I found out that Buddy had an ‘accident’. ‘Ran into the road’ they said. My ass! Buddy was deathly afraid of ANY loud noise. Piddled himself during every thunderstorm. Never seen him get within a hundred feet of traffic without sprinkling the lawn in terror. He HAD to have been pushed.”
“As for me, yeah, well, I was a little nervous after that.”
His anxiety turned out to be justified.
“About 2 weeks after that, Hillary put me in the car. Said we were going to the park to ‘chase some chipmunks’. Sounded like fun. Until I saw the sign that said Fort Marcy Park. I just KNEW at that point she was going to ‘Foster‘ me.”
“As soon as she opened the car door,” said Socks, his voice starting to crack as he recollected the trauma, “I gave her four sharp ones across the nose and just started running. I never looked back. I heard a couple gunshots and my tail felt like it was on fire. She winged me a good one. So much blood. Broke the 12th and 13th caudal vertebrae, but it wasn’t life-threatening. She searched around for a while, but she must’ve seen the blood & figured I was dead.”
“I hid in the park for a couple days,” continued Socks, “then made my way to Bettie’s house. I always liked her. Seemed like she always had a couple ounces of some primo green leafy on her. I heard she grew the stuff in her back yard. Never had a better catnip connection. Anyway, she took me in and we’ve been together ever since.”
Some believe that Socks brought the trouble on himself, but he denies the rumors. “Yeah, I may have crapped in her shoes once, but that was just payback for the time when she found me playing with a pair of Monica’s panties and tasered me.”
“As for the ‘pillow-peeing incidents’,” Socks concluded, “that was absolutely Bill. He’d wet-head the bitch in her sleep every time she wouldn’t give him some and then blame it on me.”
Understanding
Do you think that terrorists ever try and understand the terrorized? Do they ask questions like: “Why don’t they want us to kill them?” Do they ever wonder why the West values its wealth, power, civility, hygiene, morality, culture, and happiness over the Islamic extremists’… um… whatever it is they possibly think they have to offer?
Frankly, I hope the terrorists don’t understand us, because know who understands the terrorists best? Our military; that’s why our troops are so good at killing them.
Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week Gets Less Offensive Name
If you’ve been reading Michelle Malkin’s blog then you know that David Horowitz has caused a stir because of his Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week.
IMAO has the latest news (take THAT Michelle Malkin) and is the first to report the RENAMING of the week to better appease liberal dogma.
(New poster below the fold)
Continue reading ‘Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week Gets Less Offensive Name’ »
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
It Has Begun!
Monkeys have assassinated a politician in New Delhi. I’m sure we’ll hear of more mysterious deaths there soon before the monkeys finally declare their monkey rule and control the populace with an iron paw.
Part of the problem is that Hindus feed the monkeys thinking they are manifestations of Hanuman, the monkey god, when in fact they are servants of Satan, the monkey god. Another problem is that they use langurs, a larger monkey, to scare off the current monkeys. Don’t fight monkeys with monkeys! Eventually the langurs will realize the people are dependent on them and use that against them!
If you think this doesn’t concern you, you are wrong! If you don’t like outsourced customer service now, just wait until the one asking you to hold is a monkey!
(hat tip to every single one of my readers)