Iran So Far

“You can deny the holocaust all you want but you can’t deny there’s something between us.”

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgLast time John Edwards got bit by a mosquito, it bled him whiter than what liberals think of Condoleezza Rice.

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

The House recently voted on a resolution expressing their fear of Fred Thompson. It passed 427 to 0 with 8 not voting since Fred Thompson had killed them.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards tried to take up smoking, but the cigarette just slapped his face & said “NUH-uh! I don’t swing that way, buddy!”
Bonus facts from Chris:
4) “Ya want fluffy omelets, ya gotta beat ’em until your arm is sore. Good advice for raising kids, too.”
John Edwards thought of this when making breakfast once. He still couldn’t muster the energy to break the yolk.
Bill Clinton’s dream interns: young chubby girls. John Edwards’ dream interns? Teletubbies.
Bonus facts from Casper the Friendly Host:
At Wednesday night’s Democratic debate, NBC microphones picked up John Edwards humming his favorite jingle, “I can bring home the bacon…”
Later that same night, his campaign adviser whispered, “Mr. Edwards, the jingle goes ‘Things go better with a DOLLOP of DAISY‘, not ‘a polyp of Davy’s’, sir.”

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson’s favorite toy as a toddler was electrified barbed wire tied to a grizzly bear.

Finally My Tax Money Goes to Something Worthwhile

Now that John Edwards is going to be accepting public financing for his campaign, that means all of us tax payers are now funding his campaign.
I’m for that. Because of his poor fundraising, Edwards would have to exit the race were it not for federal funds, and considering the popularity of Harvey’s John Edwards Fabulous Facts, anything that keeps Edwards campaigning is a boon for IMAO (and thus all of America if not the world). I’m happy to have my money going towards the hilarious spectacle that is John Edwards.
So say we all?

Links of the Day

K-Lo has lifted the ban! It’s Star Trek Weekend at NRO!
Mary Katharine Ham comes out as an omnivore.

Those MySpacers are More Perceptive Than I Thought

Instant polling results from John Edwards’s appearance on MTV/MySpace’s live-streamed youth forum at the University of New Hampshire showed that viewers generally approved of his ideas and performance.
The fact that these youths were predominantly baked out of their minds on primo Venezuelan green-bud probably had nothing to do with the results.
Still, I did some digging and discovered some of the less-publicized poll questions and their results:


23% hated John Edwards because he’s beautiful.
45% wanted to have sex with Edwards, with a shockingly high 2% of those being women.
7% “naturally assumed” that Edwards’s health care program would cover the cost of hair spray.
95% agreed with Edwards’s position that pulling out is the best course of action in Iraq, although there’s some suspicion that the majority of respondents may have stopped reading the question before they got to the “in Iraq” part.
33% first became fans of Edwards back during his days as host of “Crossing Over“.
22% thought that John Edwards had already been elected President, meaning they were either BDS Democrats from the “stolen” 2004 election or DEEP into their baggie of green-bud.
Possibly both.
71% believed that Edwards isn’t fooling anyone and might as well just come out of the freakin’ closet already.
A plurality – 29% – chose as the phrase that best describes Edwards: “disturbingly baby-faced waterboy for the DNC Kool-Aid Brewer’s Union”.
“Candy-ass” came in a close second at 27%.
4% kept responding to questions with “nude Olsen twins” – they probably meant to type that in the browser window with Google Images open in it.
Another 4% (possibly the same 4%) kept responding with “my baggie’s empty”.


Keep in mind that this poll may not be representative or even accurate, since 100% of respondents also said that “having a MySpace page is cool”
No offense, AlanABQ.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgI can’t compete with this one from AlanABQ, so the post is all his today:
Willie Nelson’s heroes have always been cowboys; John Edwards’ heroes have always been Care Bears.

Should I See “The Kingdom”: How to Interpret Liberal Reviewers

I don’t know much about the movie The Kingdom that comes out today other than it involves Americans looking for a terrorists in Saudi Arabia. That means its inevitably going to have some political content, and knowing the leanings of movie reviewers, the only way I’m going to like it is if they hate it.
Well, with 69 reviews so far, it has a 48% on Rotten Tomatoes (29% from Cream of the Crop — read extra liberal). So far so good. So what are the blurbs of the negative reviews:

“Screenwriter Matthew Michael Carnahan wants us to know that there are good Arabs and bad Arabs, but he panders to our basest 9/11 anxieties.”

I’m guessing “basest 9/11 anxieties” translates to “awesomest motivation to kill terrorists.”

So shameless is The Kingdom, ignoring consequence and treating its audience like cash-dispensing machines with buttons to be pushed rather than thinking individuals willing to consider the reality of America’s entanglement with the Middle East.

Because everyone want to go to an action movie for a left-wing foreign policy lecture.

“If Frank Capra had ever made a Rambo movie, it would have looked like this.”

How in the world is that a blurb for a negative review?

I left the theater completely uncertain about what the filmmakers intended to say about the orgiastic bloodshed they showed me. The Kingdom is an explosion of rage in search of a rationale.

That sounds like the description of every good action movie.

“This is fertile ground for an invigorating exploration of Saudi-American interaction, but the whole thing eventually devolves into a run-of-the-mill shoot ’em up.”

Do these people even know what an action movie is? Did they come out of Die Hard complaining there wasn’t enough of a dissection of corporate America?

“Where pic goes astray is in turning anonymous, indigenous peoples into ducks at a shooting gallery.”

Is “indigenous peoples” a euphemism for for’ners?

“A high-budget episode of “The A Team” crossed with “24” and a sort of “CSI: Riyadh” until a few minutes at the end try to tack on some larger meaning. It just shows how thin the material in the rest of the film is by contrast.”

Again, how does saying a movie is a cross between the The A Team, 24, and CSI constitute a negative review? Do they understand most people like those shows and hate liberal weenies?
To be cautious, let’s look for danger signs in the positive reviews:

“The picture is made with a degree of care, and what’s surprising about it is the way [director] Berg actually resists making rah-rah jingoistic proclamations instead of relying on them.

Because the last thing I want is to see a movie in which people are proud to be Americans.

“The Kingdom is the anti-Syriana: yes, it says, the Middle East is very, very complicated, but Americans have solved tougher problems, thanks very much.”

I would have expected that to be the blurb for a negative review based on the others.

“A surprisingly nuanced exploration of the sincere desire held by many in this country to make the US the good guy around the globe — the white knight superpower.”

Aiieee! Nuance!

“The Kingdom is such a strong entertainment, such a substantial ‘us vs. them’ example of wish fulfillment that it’s easy to ignore the many mixed messages.”

He probably just projected mixed message in there so he could enjoy the fun explosions.
Anyway, my guess from reading the reviews is that you will very much enjoy this movie. Plus, it’s got Jason Bateman from Arrested Development; how can you go wrong?

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson can swallow a pig and some wheat and crap a ham sandwich.

Ronin Profile: K T Cat

K T Cat

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s K T Cat.


What’s the story behind your name? K T is a pleasant, little tuxedo cat who has lived with me for years. I’m not one of those catbloggers who thinks cats can talk, but I can tell you that we are very close friends. When I started blogging, I decided I wanted an anonymous name and so I used hers. Now I use it for everything on line. She doesn’t seem to mind.
Where do you live? Sunny San Diego!
How old are you? My first vote was for President Reagan in 1980. It was glorious.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m a single dad who likes to work on cars, coach sports, suffer along with New Orleans Saints football and blog.
How long have you been reading IMAO? For years! I was bored one day and started checking out the blogroll on Scrappleface. I came across yours, something like four or five years ago, and got hooked. Thanks for the laughs, all of you.
[You’re welcome! -Ed.]
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Anything with the Rumsfeld Strangler. I got to brief Donald Rumsfeld once and he was a sharp and funny guy. There were reporters present and only a few of them ended up strangled. I got to give interviews to the remaining ones after he left.
[You’re the coolest person ever! -Ed.]
If you were to describe IMAO in three words, what would those be? Buy Papal Indulgences. Really, Frank, we’re all going to need them. After what you’ve written? Better see if we can get a bulk rate. (Hint: violence, for the most part, is a sin. Funny, but still a sin.)
What’s you favorite political issue? It’s not a political issue but a social one. As a single parent, I am trying to raise two children with about 60% of the money and 40% of the time as a married couple. I can’t do it as well as they can. Try doing anything with that much less time and money and see what you get. Roughly speaking, single parent households have $40,000 and 2000 labor hours less than two parent households, annually. The Democrats want to replace this with a $1000 raise for my kids’ teachers and the Republicans want to give me a $500 tax credit. I’m out $40,000 and 2000 labor hours and you think your proposals are going to make a difference?
What we need from our politicians is for them to say, “We’re not going to waste everyone else’s tax dollars on something we can’t do anything about. You’ve screwed yourselves and you need to take care of it on your own.” One of the reasons I like Fred so much is that he seems to get it. Every social pathology in the country correlates more strongly with single parent households than anything else and it’s not even close. It’s not a debatable statement, it’s a mathematical fact. If you want a smaller prison population, less crime, less poverty, more literacy and all the rest, the solution is your family, not politics.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I blog at The Scratching Post. I started blogging because I had time in strange increments and at odd hours and I couldn’t think of any other way to make a little cash. It’s been a total wash financially, but it’s been a lot of fun. The ‘Post is now my motivation for learning and discovering.
If you could grow to fifty times your normal size, what would you do with that power? That sounds horrid. I’d get a gastric bypass and quick. I’d probably be washing myself with a sponge on the end of a stick, too. What was that? It’s a super power? What kind of a super power is that? I’d see if I could trade it with Aquaman. Talking to fish would be more useful than crushing my house every time I wanted to check the mailbox. Could you imagine what that would do to your insurance premiums?


If you commented in the last post asking for participants, you’re still in the running. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far; just because you may not think you’re interesting doesn’t mean we won’t enjoy your story.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgToday’s Fact is from Jim:
It took many days, but John Edwards’s advisers finally talked him out of using his original campaign slogan: “Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m beautiful!”
Bonus Fact from Harvey:
Kelly LeBrock hates John Edwards.

An Idea Worth Exploring?

Rumor has it that US snipers in Iraq are using fake weapons and bomb-making materials as bait, and then killing terrorists who picks up the items. The pro-defeat lobby seems to have a problem with this.
Not me.
In fact, I can see how this principle can be adapted and applied to target other irksome critters, like baiting:
* Journalists with fake memos.
* Ted Kennedy with a campaign worker who can tread water.
* Moonbats with an opportunity to be tasered for YouTube.
* Bill Clinton with an intern completely lacking in “tobacco-free zones”.
* Elton John with kiddie porn avant-garde art.
* Senator Craig with wide-stanced loafers.
* Michael Moore with… well, ANY saturated-fat based product. A brick slathered in lard would work fine.
* John Edwards with a can of Aqua-Net (stand by with a flaming arrow on this one).
* Alec Baldwin with Canadian citizenship.
* UPDATE: apparently that one doesn’t work.
* Hillary with a gold ring inscribed with cryptic runes in an ancient Elvin tongue.
* Obama with an explosive device cleverly diguised as black street cred.


If you’ve got any other ideas, I’d love to hear ’em.

Lazy Surrendercrats

So the Dems hate the war and want it over, but none of the Democrat front runners in last night’s would guarantee that they’d be out of Iraq by the end of his or her first term, 2013.
Let me get this straight: The Iraq war is a mistake. We’ve lost. We have to pull out now… but we’re still not sure we’ll be out of there by 2013.
These guys need lessons from the French on being much more decisive about losing wars.
Anyway, I think the nutroots are starting to realize none of the candidates are serious about ending the war (who wants that huge loss on their hands?). Thus the nutroots’ descent into irrelevancy continues.