I won’t describe to you what is happening in the picture I am about to link to. The dawning of what’s happening is part of the image’s power. It’s not funny in the least.
But this photo, it speaks directly to the deepest part of your heart. It sure did speak to mine.
Look at this picture and not cry.
I dare you and I warned you.
Archive of entries posted on 31st October 2007
Can’t Believe No One Used "I’ll Have What She’s Having"
Still there was a lot of good stuff, and I was surprised by the volume of responses.
Therefore I’m going to pass out the bragging rights & praise like Halloween candy, instead of just limiting it to five.
First some discussion of how I was impressed (or not).
It pays know your judge. I like:
* Brevity – a one-word caption would be your Holy Grail here. For example, “KHAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!”. Tough to find, but worth the effort if you can find it.
* Movie quotes – best if they’re recognizable, yet not the ones EVERYONE uses.
* TV show quotes – if you’ve paid attention, you’ll know my favorite.
* Indirect references – Frank J’s entry in the first comment (which, sadly, does not earn praise this time), never uses the word “Joker”. He merely leaves it implied. He fails in this case because the Joker was frustrated when he spoke this line. Would’ve been better with “You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?” or “This town needs an enema!”.
* Smut – I like my humor off-colorer than most of the folks around here.
It also helps to know what I don’t like:
* Harry Potter references.
That’s Frank & Sarah’s thing. Personally, I think the series is dorky tripe written by a daft old limey bat.
Anyway, let’s dole out the bragging rights:
Spacemonkey (using an actual Hillary quote):
“We’re going to be taking things away from you…like your SOUL! [Pause] [cackle, cackle, cackle]”
Rick (nice misdirection – I bit on it):
After a hard day on the campaign trail, Hillary unwinds while watching her favorite comedy, Schindler’s List.
DamnCat (beautiful implication technique):
Recently added to the Baseball Hall of Fame’s memorabilia collection: Yogi Berra’s 1951 World Series catcher’s mitt.
Pantera (this thought just makes me feel warm inside):
What Saddam saw before he died.
Jerry (old joke recycled by using only the punchline – a good method):
“and you Obama, I’ll turn you into a wetsuit!!”
Lily (ripped from the headlines…)
Next on the Democratic agenda…Universal Dental Care
Master Shake (smutty AND baits Ronulans)
“Be careful down there, Ron Paul. That tickles!”
Bod (mostly because I used to own the album in question – yes, on vinyl, thank you very much)
21st Century Schizoid Woman
And before launching into the High Praise! winner, I’m offering some Moderately Elevated Praise! to:
hordog (smutty and semi-obscure Blazing Saddles reference)
“Oh, Bawwack, it’s twue it’s twue…”
AlanABQ (Yay! Smutty pun!):
“I’m smiling because I’m getting my cavities checked today, and I ain’t talking about my teeth!”
glockman (brevity and a Simpson’s reference):
mmmmm….babies
PostToasties (new twist on an old classic):
“The face that sunk a thousand ships.”
Casper the Friendly Host (he went there):
A mouth only Janet Reno could french kiss.
Raving Lunatic (he went there, but semi-discreetly):
Hillary discovers the secret joy of washing machines
G Fresh (For adapting a relatively obscure Princess Bride quote):
I am the Dread Pirate Rodham. I have come for your souls.
cptnmoroni (going extreme to make his point):
The Revlon corporation just surrendered.
badmartin (I really enjoy this mental image):
She’s laughing because her driver just hit a kid on a bike.
Hazel (a movie quote I’ve never heard before, but very fitting):
“It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws, it’s not.”
right (another mental image that tickles me):
Hillary grins happily as she learns that, yes, her new Wagner Power Sprayer CAN handle a 50/50 maybelline/spackle mix.
right (well-adapted commercial reference):
Souls. It’s what’s for dinner.
Michael Rutman (because it’s just SO wrong. Click the link, it’s a visual)
Dr. Evil (a rarely-quoted – yet well-chosen – phrase from MPatHG):
Follow. But… Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.
And finally, High Praise! to… (see extended entry)
Continue reading ‘Can’t Believe No One Used "I’ll Have What She’s Having"’ »
Ronin Profile: Marvin
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Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Marvin.
What’s the story behind your name? It was my grandfather’s name and is my middle name.
Where do you live? Roswell, GA, where there are no aliens and no water
How old are you? Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it anyway.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I am a former Surface Warfare Officer, US Navy. After I told my wife about my blog, she immediately asked if I received any death threats. (not yet, but I am trying for some.)
How long have you been reading IMAO? A couple of years
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths “If Hillary Clinton supporters are going door to door in your neighborhood, just mark your doorpost with lamb’s blood and they’ll not bother you.”
If you were to describe IMAO in three words, what would those be? Medication Required Daily
What’s your favorite political issue? Global War on Terror
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. www.wordofmarvin.blogspot.com is my site. It is just my rantings and ravings. But please visit and support Project Valour-IT (Voice Activated Laptops for Our Injured Troops) The annual interservice fundraiser is on, till Veterans Day.
How would you combat wildfires? By conscripting illegal, oops I mean undocumented, laborers to clear out the underbrush so that when fires start there is less fuel for them.
If you commented in the last post asking for participants, you’re still in the running. Thanks to everyone who has participated thus far; just because you may not think you’re interesting doesn’t mean we won’t enjoy your story.
The History of the Marines
In the beginning, the earth was without form. So God sent in the Marines to kick it around and get some order. God then realized that the Marines would need something to kill, so he created life.
About everything you enjoy in life is only here because the Marines killed the right people. Thus, show your support to them by donating to Valour-IT in the name of the Marines and help them beat the other branches to their goal. You’ll help wounded troops get voice-activated laptops and prove once and for all which branch of the military is the best (it’s the Marines).
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Dennis Kucinich Announces His Vice President
Jumping ahead of the crowd, Dennis Kucinich today announced his Vice President. Said Dennis, “I’m not like the other candidates. I have an insight and awareness given to me from years of hard work, education, and alien visitation.” He was met with applause when he introduced his VP, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial.
Many in the crowd were pleasantly surprised. Said one reporter for the New York Times, “Many of us were supportive of the idea of an alien for Vice President. I guess most of us thought that the alien chosen would be illegal. But this is good too.”
Kucinich’s announcement has been well received. He’s gone up in the polls from 1% to 1.00009%.
“I think this is a wiinning combination. When I talked to E.T. he told me that if we hit the campaign trail, that he would be there to pick up all the pieces.
RightWingDuck is a frequent contributor to IMAO. Sometimes in a postiive way. His writings can be found at IMAO and at The Daily Jalapeno.
Hillary Clinton Supports Weaseliness on Illegal Immigration
Wow. That was painful. So if I’m to understand Hillary’s position correctly, she’s for giving driver’s licenses to illegal immigration, but against not being weasely when stating said position.
That was just some bad weaseling. Good weaseling leaves it ambiguous where you stand on an issue, but she made it pretty clear where she stood on the issue and then just weaseled for the hell of it. It was weaseling for weaseling’s sake… like she doesn’t know how to not weasel on an answer.
RUSSERT: “What’s your name?”
HILLARY: “People have often called me by different appellations, and I think the important issue is whether they’re said towards me so I know to respond.”
Man, think of sentencing the country to that for eight years (four with good behavior).
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
The Democrat Debate
Daily Fred Thompson Fact
Time’s Almost Up
Cutoff for getting your Horrible Hillary Halloween Caption in for consideration is noon today.
I’ll mull things over and post my picks sometime after sunset tonight.